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Taking the Coin

Old 02-10-2019, 05:51 PM
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Taking the Coin

Im not a regular at AA. I am glad it helps so many people, and it is a great organization. I have nothing against it. It is just not for me. However....

There is an AA meeting next door to my weekend job. They have a meeting that starts about the time I am done working. Ive gone to a handful.
I donate to the bucket when they pass it around. Today, I went up and got my 90 day coin. It was a nice powerful moment with all congratulating me.
But I feel like a fraud. I dont believe in the 12 steps. But the coin is a nice.

How do those of you who do the full AA program feel? Id like to go back and get my next coin and so forth. I just dont want to offend anyone there.

thanks in advance.
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Old 02-10-2019, 06:15 PM
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I guess my main answer is questions - why do you want the coin(s)? Why is AA not for you?
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Old 02-10-2019, 06:21 PM
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I personally don’t really care. I’ve seen this a little bit. But, I also never know if a person regularly attends other meetings etc. You’ve been sober that long so good for you!
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Old 02-10-2019, 06:50 PM
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I attended meetings my first year sober and got the monthly coins and the one year coin. I never worked the steps or had a sponsor and no one at the meetings ever questioned me about it.

I had the coins used to make a clock (made by a talented friend of mine) to celebrate my first year sober. I stopped going to meetings after I got to a year but stayed sober, now having over nine years sober. Here's the clock.

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Old 02-10-2019, 07:20 PM
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HFA,
my suggestion is to read the chip. the part about being true to yourself.
and then to figure out what that might mean for you in this situation.
what “we” think or feel is quite irrelevant.
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Old 02-10-2019, 07:21 PM
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Great job on 90 days!! Kudos to you!

You mentioned you felt something .. ? Never give up hope! I’m glad you found us and hope you keep attending meetings.

have a great week, wishing you the best!
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Old 02-10-2019, 10:35 PM
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Originally Posted by least View Post
I attended meetings my first year sober and got the monthly coins and the one year coin. I never worked the steps or had a sponsor and no one at the meetings ever questioned me about it.

I had the coins used to make a clock (made by a talented friend of mine) to celebrate my first year sober. I stopped going to meetings after I got to a year but stayed sober, now having over nine years sober. Here's the clock.

love this !!
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Old 02-11-2019, 01:32 AM
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I wouldn't put that much thought into it. It's not like you're lying about the time you have sober.
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Old 02-11-2019, 02:00 AM
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Personally I don't care how often someone attends AA meetings or what program of recovery they follow. What is important is that you work to improve yourself. If you want to visit and pick up a sobriety celebration coin occasionally that's fine with me. But you don't need my approval (or anyone else's) . I just hope you hear something you like when you visit that helps to strengthen your recovery. Who knows maybe you will come back more often.
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Old 02-11-2019, 02:40 AM
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Originally Posted by AAPJ View Post
Personally I don't care how often someone attends AA meetings or what program of recovery they follow. What is important is that you work to improve yourself. If you want to visit and pick up a sobriety celebration coin occasionally that's fine with me. But you don't need my approval (or anyone else's) . I just hope you hear something you like when you visit that helps to strengthen your recovery. Who knows maybe you will come back more often.
Don't over-think it. Just do what you are doing and enjoy each sober day!
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Old 02-11-2019, 03:03 AM
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The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking. The chips are recognition of those who have maintained continuous sobriety; I see nothing wrong with accepting a 90 day chip that you have rightfully earned.

What I would point out: that "nice powerful moment" is something we all need from time to time. I don't go to my homegroup for accolades, but when I needed that one on one support, my homegroup members were/are there for me. I believe that is one of the reasons I have been fortunate enough to have maintained continuous sobriety all this time.

As to feeling like a fraud - so did I in the early days. I think that's just a facet of my terminal uniqueness, which seemed to fade once I had truly worked step 2.
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Old 02-11-2019, 03:26 AM
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Good thoughts above and bottom line- it's not my thoughts that matter on why you did it (though you didn't answer my questions ) .

Love that clock! I have a neat collage made of my first year (which my sponsor special ordered in pink and gold, since pink is my fave number) and a pic of me holding the blue one from my other mtg, and of my husband and the coin that day. I have all my others in a little pouch on the dressing table.

Whatever you do- the chips are symbolic and meaningful to many of us - so keep going sober and do what you need to do!!
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Old 02-11-2019, 05:16 AM
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AA chips won't keep me sober but every day it is a reminder of belonging to a wonderful fellowship that saved my life.
Congratulations
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Old 02-11-2019, 07:23 AM
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Originally Posted by HFA View Post
I went up and got my 90 day coin. It was a nice powerful moment with all congratulating me.
But I feel like a fraud. I dont believe in the 12 steps. But the coin is a nice.

How do those of you who do the full AA program feel? Id like to go back and get my next coin and so forth. I just dont want to offend anyone there.
Sobriety is no fraud. The coin is for your sobriety, and that's really the goal in AA. Some step Nazis told me I could never really get sober unless I bought the whole AA doctrine, but when I picked up my annual coins, I never heard anyone booing me for my cynicism. Although, it was a rare event for me to go more than 24 hours without a meeting for the first 15 or so years, until I finally left the program.

Any disagreements I had with doctrine, never seemed to matter. In the end, everyone seemed to be happy with my commitment to sobriety, if not to the program. As I ignored some of the AA "suggestions" and took what I needed, members seemed to accept my commitment, while ignoring my "failings."

I drilled holes in my coins so I could keep the latest one on my key chain. It's the only unnecessary key chain bauble I've ever felt strongly enough about to keep with me, at least until that last one got so far out of date, and I started to lose count.
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Old 02-11-2019, 10:29 AM
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HFA congrats on the 90days and havingan open mind to attend meetings. You experienced a powerful emotion when you collected your coin, I felt moved by that for whatever reason.
The program is worth investigation.
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Old 02-11-2019, 10:37 AM
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Originally Posted by ChloeRose63 View Post
Don't over-think it. Just do what you are doing and enjoy each sober day!
Home Run!
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