AA meeting question
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: West Tn
Posts: 3,043
Excellent job, 5329guy.
Racing to go to a meeting because it has moved is really impressive.
I strongly suggest that you look for the similarities (and not the differences) between people who speak and yourself.
At a minimum, they are (or, at least, should be) there because they have a drinking problem, just like you.
You will eventually (and perhaps very soon) find a group with respect to which you feel very comfortable and at home.
Some smaller meetings can get a little smug because they are almost all old-timers and friends.
It sounds like you ran across that dynamic.
Keep coming back.
AA needs you.
Racing to go to a meeting because it has moved is really impressive.
I strongly suggest that you look for the similarities (and not the differences) between people who speak and yourself.
At a minimum, they are (or, at least, should be) there because they have a drinking problem, just like you.
You will eventually (and perhaps very soon) find a group with respect to which you feel very comfortable and at home.
Some smaller meetings can get a little smug because they are almost all old-timers and friends.
It sounds like you ran across that dynamic.
Keep coming back.
AA needs you.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2019
Posts: 101
Originally Posted by August252015 
Glad you shared.
I'm glad you went - and btw, I never got a white chip or a 30 day chip. I knew I was committed to AA but I just wasn't ready to speak up. I don't recall exactly when I first spoke in a meeting, and the next marker for a chip in the meetings I go to is 90 days, so that was my first one. I'm a quite outgoing person but was very reticent to verbalize my name and the "and I'm an alcoholic" part....even for awhile after I knew I was! I will have 3 yrs on 2/21 and yeah, I have liked getting chips that first one!
Hope you will go back and glad you are sharing with us.
I'm glad you went - and btw, I never got a white chip or a 30 day chip. I knew I was committed to AA but I just wasn't ready to speak up. I don't recall exactly when I first spoke in a meeting, and the next marker for a chip in the meetings I go to is 90 days, so that was my first one. I'm a quite outgoing person but was very reticent to verbalize my name and the "and I'm an alcoholic" part....even for awhile after I knew I was! I will have 3 yrs on 2/21 and yeah, I have liked getting chips that first one!
Hope you will go back and glad you are sharing with us.
One question: What’s a white chip? Is that for one day?
It’s actually funny you mention chips, at one point during the meeting the guy sitting next to me in the circle of chairs handed me some kind of chip right out of nowhere. I was thinking, “ehhhhhhh....thanks? But wtf is this for???” Totally bewildered and not knowing what in the hell I was supposed to do with it, I slowly just started looking at it, flipping it over, looking at the other side, pondering (ie stalling) what on God’s green earth am I supposed to do with this, and why did he hand it to me of all people?!?”
After “studying” it for a minute or more, the only thing I could think to do was basically play hot potato with it and timidly extend it to the person sitting in the next seat two chairs down the line. I was waiting for him to give me a look like, “no no, that’s not what you do, you’re CLEARLY a newcomer, why didn’t you raise your hand earlier!?”
Much to my relief, however, he just took it from me very casually and handed it to the guy next to him. Apparently that’s what they do there (possibly elsewhere too?)
NBD I guess, but man, I was having a mild anxiety attack thinking I was about to get busted!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2019
Posts: 101
Originally Posted by SoberCAH
Excellent job, 5329guy.
Racing to go to a meeting because it has moved is really impressive.
I strongly suggest that you look for the similarities (and not the differences) between people who speak and yourself.
At a minimum, they are (or, at least, should be) there because they have a drinking problem, just like you.
You will eventually (and perhaps very soon) find a group with respect to which you feel very comfortable and at home.
Some smaller meetings can get a little smug because they are almost all old-timers and friends.
It sounds like you ran across that dynamic.
Keep coming back.
AA needs you.
Racing to go to a meeting because it has moved is really impressive.
I strongly suggest that you look for the similarities (and not the differences) between people who speak and yourself.
At a minimum, they are (or, at least, should be) there because they have a drinking problem, just like you.
You will eventually (and perhaps very soon) find a group with respect to which you feel very comfortable and at home.
Some smaller meetings can get a little smug because they are almost all old-timers and friends.
It sounds like you ran across that dynamic.
Keep coming back.
AA needs you.
I will take your advice and keep going back, I have no doubt I’ll come across groups of all shapes and sizes. Thanks again for your support!
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: canada
Posts: 7,242
yes, try a different meeting.
this one sounds more like a social get-together of long-time friends than a group that carries “this message” to the alcoholic who still suffers.
though maybe you did get to see a group of alcoholics who are not still suffering?
this one sounds more like a social get-together of long-time friends than a group that carries “this message” to the alcoholic who still suffers.
though maybe you did get to see a group of alcoholics who are not still suffering?
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Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
You have a lot of good questions 5329 and are very observant. That's a good thing for sure - just don't let it lead you astray from the sole purpose of AA - to help others stop drinking, once you have gone thru the steps, understand the program and live in step 12 (service to others). The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking.
A white chip is for 24 hours. Some meetings say "try our way of life for 24 hours." Then they go thru the markers for the other milestones - usually 30, 90 days (I have seen some give a 60 day chip), 9 mo, a year and multiples. You can choose to get up and be identified or not - as you become part of a group, you'll know other's time and v. versa. I find that a good and hopeful thing - both those with less and those with more time than I have. It keeps me grounded - sometimes folks will say whomever got up the earliest that day has the most sobriety. A cool way to think of it, IMO.
The lingo, the talk, the sheer and weird reality of being at a meeting...just that: foreign. Don't stress over that stuff - I promise it comes with time if you stick around. And, frankly, some of the sayings still grate the cr*p out of me and others are my own mantras...that's one example of how I interpret and apply the axiom "take what you want and leave the rest."
For now, I will close with the strong suggestion that you go back, and get a sponsor. Around here, many meetings will ask for those with more than a year sober, who have worked the steps, raise their hands if they are willing to sponsor. If you are as discerning as me, you might be inclined to listen for awhile til someone seems to speak your language, intuitively- that worked for me because I was TOTALLY committed to AA. On the other hand, you have tons of questions right now and I sense a dedication coupled with trepidation about AA so getting a sponsor at your next meeting could be terrifyingly perfect for you- a primary role of a sponsor is to teach you the program. Specifically the first 164 pp. And in those, there are plenty of interesting facts that I sense might appeal to you (like the IRL identity of folks who were involved at the beginning of AA, the story of Dr Silkworth, the societal circumstances of the time so you can better "place" the BB...).
My personal program is a knowledge of the letter of the law, and an application of the spirit. That developed over time, and began with that disciplined foundation of knowledge I describe.
Glad you are here, and going "there."
A white chip is for 24 hours. Some meetings say "try our way of life for 24 hours." Then they go thru the markers for the other milestones - usually 30, 90 days (I have seen some give a 60 day chip), 9 mo, a year and multiples. You can choose to get up and be identified or not - as you become part of a group, you'll know other's time and v. versa. I find that a good and hopeful thing - both those with less and those with more time than I have. It keeps me grounded - sometimes folks will say whomever got up the earliest that day has the most sobriety. A cool way to think of it, IMO.
The lingo, the talk, the sheer and weird reality of being at a meeting...just that: foreign. Don't stress over that stuff - I promise it comes with time if you stick around. And, frankly, some of the sayings still grate the cr*p out of me and others are my own mantras...that's one example of how I interpret and apply the axiom "take what you want and leave the rest."
For now, I will close with the strong suggestion that you go back, and get a sponsor. Around here, many meetings will ask for those with more than a year sober, who have worked the steps, raise their hands if they are willing to sponsor. If you are as discerning as me, you might be inclined to listen for awhile til someone seems to speak your language, intuitively- that worked for me because I was TOTALLY committed to AA. On the other hand, you have tons of questions right now and I sense a dedication coupled with trepidation about AA so getting a sponsor at your next meeting could be terrifyingly perfect for you- a primary role of a sponsor is to teach you the program. Specifically the first 164 pp. And in those, there are plenty of interesting facts that I sense might appeal to you (like the IRL identity of folks who were involved at the beginning of AA, the story of Dr Silkworth, the societal circumstances of the time so you can better "place" the BB...).
My personal program is a knowledge of the letter of the law, and an application of the spirit. That developed over time, and began with that disciplined foundation of knowledge I describe.
Glad you are here, and going "there."
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
Originally Posted by 5329guy
One question: What’s a white chip? Is that for one day?
that chip has some pretty awesome powers,too:
if you feel like drinking,put it in your mouth. when it melts you can have a drink.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2019
Posts: 101
So I met with my therapist yesterday. He was likewise very happy to hear that I made it to my first meeting, particularly given the circumstances.
Before leaving, he gave me my homework assignment for this week. Thus far I've been pretty on board with the assignments he's given me, but I've gotta say that this week's assignment makes me REALLY nervous.
I have to go to another meeting (which I was going to do anyway), but this time I have to....eek.....SHARE!! We're trying to work on me becoming better at sharing my struggles with alcohol, reaching out to people and asking for help/support, etc. While I'm comfortable doing so with him (and on this forum, where I can essentially hide behind a keyboard), I have a really hard time opening up about this stuff in most other contexts of my life (I especially struggle with the asking for help aspect of things. Being a people pleaser I typically go out of my way to avoid inconveniencing anyone else with my problems. My thinking essentially goes: "I got myself into this mess and I AND I ALONE am responsible digging myself out of it. Please don't let me and my alcoholism get you down, it's not your problem it's mine." Too much self-sufficiency as he puts it. Basically I need to really build those muscles as much as possible now so that it's not such a frightening and difficult thing to do once my quit date arrives and the inevitable cravings and stressors hit me like a ton of bricks.
While I've read a lot of threads about "shares", what they should focus on, etc., I'd welcome anyone's thoughts/advice on how to best approach my first share at a meeting. I suppose that they're really no pressure (at least externally) but I'm sure most if not all of you can relate to being nervous (hell, crappin*g your pants) about speaking up for the first time in a meeting, particularly if you did so almost immediately once you began going to meetings like I'm supposed to do this week.
Hope to hear from you! Thanks in advance.
Before leaving, he gave me my homework assignment for this week. Thus far I've been pretty on board with the assignments he's given me, but I've gotta say that this week's assignment makes me REALLY nervous.
I have to go to another meeting (which I was going to do anyway), but this time I have to....eek.....SHARE!! We're trying to work on me becoming better at sharing my struggles with alcohol, reaching out to people and asking for help/support, etc. While I'm comfortable doing so with him (and on this forum, where I can essentially hide behind a keyboard), I have a really hard time opening up about this stuff in most other contexts of my life (I especially struggle with the asking for help aspect of things. Being a people pleaser I typically go out of my way to avoid inconveniencing anyone else with my problems. My thinking essentially goes: "I got myself into this mess and I AND I ALONE am responsible digging myself out of it. Please don't let me and my alcoholism get you down, it's not your problem it's mine." Too much self-sufficiency as he puts it. Basically I need to really build those muscles as much as possible now so that it's not such a frightening and difficult thing to do once my quit date arrives and the inevitable cravings and stressors hit me like a ton of bricks.
While I've read a lot of threads about "shares", what they should focus on, etc., I'd welcome anyone's thoughts/advice on how to best approach my first share at a meeting. I suppose that they're really no pressure (at least externally) but I'm sure most if not all of you can relate to being nervous (hell, crappin*g your pants) about speaking up for the first time in a meeting, particularly if you did so almost immediately once you began going to meetings like I'm supposed to do this week.
Hope to hear from you! Thanks in advance.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Colorado
Posts: 3,781
Originally Posted by 5329guy
Thanks August! Your insights make me feel a little more “normal” about my experience.
One question: What’s a white chip? Is that for one day?
It’s actually funny you mention chips, at one point during the meeting the guy sitting next to me in the circle of chairs handed me some kind of chip right out of nowhere. I was thinking, “ehhhhhhh....thanks? But wtf is this for???” Totally bewildered and not knowing what in the hell I was supposed to do with it, I slowly just started looking at it, flipping it over, looking at the other side, pondering (ie stalling) what on God’s green earth am I supposed to do with this, and why did he hand it to me of all people?!?”
After “studying” it for a minute or more, the only thing I could think to do was basically play hot potato with it and timidly extend it to the person sitting in the next seat two chairs down the line. I was waiting for him to give me a look like, “no no, that’s not what you do, you’re CLEARLY a newcomer, why didn’t you raise your hand earlier!?”
Much to my relief, however, he just took it from me very casually and handed it to the guy next to him. Apparently that’s what they do there (possibly elsewhere too?)
NBD I guess, but man, I was having a mild anxiety attack thinking I was about to get busted!
Please don’t over think the sharing thing.. speak from your heart.. Wishing you the best!
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: canada
Posts: 7,242
“share” doesn’tneed to be anything extensive at all. if there is a topic, you can just speak a few seconds on your ex perience , or lack thereof, with that topic. or just tell the folk there that you would like to share that you are really nervous about sharing and especially do not like to ask for any help
you will likely be amazed at how many will nod to that in recognition.
and you might not realize at this point, but “helping” you is a crucial part for the others there and by opening yourself to that, if even just a bit, you are giving others an opportunity.
you will likely be amazed at how many will nod to that in recognition.
and you might not realize at this point, but “helping” you is a crucial part for the others there and by opening yourself to that, if even just a bit, you are giving others an opportunity.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2018
Posts: 205
I’m introverted and AA has really helped me overcome anxiety issues with speaking in groups. This was a trigger for me to want to go and drink after a day at work where I’d have to lead some group meetings.
Just be honest. For what it’s worth, I always love hearing a newcomer share.
Just be honest. For what it’s worth, I always love hearing a newcomer share.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 1,068
As fini said keep it short. No need to go on and on.
Hi I'm 5329 and I'm an alcoholic. I am new to the AA program and this is my second meeting. I'm also seeing a therapist and have found a great recovery focused website called Soberrecovery.com. I really appreciate the opportunity to learn form everyone else. Thanks for letting me share.
PS - I often include something about this website in my AA meeting shares these days. Surprising to me how few folks in my meetings know about this site.
Hi I'm 5329 and I'm an alcoholic. I am new to the AA program and this is my second meeting. I'm also seeing a therapist and have found a great recovery focused website called Soberrecovery.com. I really appreciate the opportunity to learn form everyone else. Thanks for letting me share.
PS - I often include something about this website in my AA meeting shares these days. Surprising to me how few folks in my meetings know about this site.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2019
Posts: 101
Just got back from my second meeting. Overall I definitely heard more stuff that resonated with me than I did at my first meeting. So that was good. I even mustered up the nerve to identify myself as a newcomer this time and took a 24 hour chip. (Btw, unlike at my first meeting, I totally nailed the whole passing chips around the circle part of the meeting this time! Woot woot!) So that's good too I think. I'm kinda bummed though. I was supposed to share during this meeting but didn't have a chance to do so. I mean, I guess I could've insisted I be allowed to do so (and they probably would have let me since they knew I was new), but for obvious reasons I didn't feel like doing that. Anyway, the important thing is that I went.
I have to admit that I was kinda hoping that some folks would come say hello or welcome or whatever after the meeting, but it seemed more like they all just kept to their friend groups/the people they came with/etc. I guess I was just surprised b/c during their shares most of them said things along the lines of "newcomers are what help me stay sober, thank you" (paraphrasing here of course), but I didn't really get the whole newcomers are sooo important kind of vibe after the meeting was over and people were leaving. Of course, I could have stuck around and made more of an effort to introduce myself to people and such, but I feel like a total chickenshit when I walk in the doors of these places.
Maybe I don't give off a "come approach me" vibe either, I really can't say. But if I do it's more that I'm just freaked out and anxious as hell to be there.
I don't know if any of that makes any sense but I figured I'd get it out of my system.
I have to admit that I was kinda hoping that some folks would come say hello or welcome or whatever after the meeting, but it seemed more like they all just kept to their friend groups/the people they came with/etc. I guess I was just surprised b/c during their shares most of them said things along the lines of "newcomers are what help me stay sober, thank you" (paraphrasing here of course), but I didn't really get the whole newcomers are sooo important kind of vibe after the meeting was over and people were leaving. Of course, I could have stuck around and made more of an effort to introduce myself to people and such, but I feel like a total chickenshit when I walk in the doors of these places.
Maybe I don't give off a "come approach me" vibe either, I really can't say. But if I do it's more that I'm just freaked out and anxious as hell to be there.
I don't know if any of that makes any sense but I figured I'd get it out of my system.
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Join Date: Feb 2019
Posts: 69
Originally Posted by 5329guy
Just got back from my second meeting. Overall I definitely heard more stuff that resonated with me than I did at my first meeting. So that was good. I even mustered up the nerve to identify myself as a newcomer this time and took a 24 hour chip. (Btw, unlike at my first meeting, I totally nailed the whole passing chips around the circle part of the meeting this time! Woot woot!) So that's good too I think. I'm kinda bummed though. I was supposed to share during this meeting but didn't have a chance to do so. I mean, I guess I could've insisted I be allowed to do so (and they probably would have let me since they knew I was new), but for obvious reasons I didn't feel like doing that. Anyway, the important thing is that I went.
I have to admit that I was kinda hoping that some folks would come say hello or welcome or whatever after the meeting, but it seemed more like they all just kept to their friend groups/the people they came with/etc. I guess I was just surprised b/c during their shares most of them said things along the lines of "newcomers are what help me stay sober, thank you" (paraphrasing here of course), but I didn't really get the whole newcomers are sooo important kind of vibe after the meeting was over and people were leaving. Of course, I could have stuck around and made more of an effort to introduce myself to people and such, but I feel like a total chickenshit when I walk in the doors of these places.
Maybe I don't give off a "come approach me" vibe either, I really can't say. But if I do it's more that I'm just freaked out and anxious as hell to be there.
I don't know if any of that makes any sense but I figured I'd get it out of my system.
I have to admit that I was kinda hoping that some folks would come say hello or welcome or whatever after the meeting, but it seemed more like they all just kept to their friend groups/the people they came with/etc. I guess I was just surprised b/c during their shares most of them said things along the lines of "newcomers are what help me stay sober, thank you" (paraphrasing here of course), but I didn't really get the whole newcomers are sooo important kind of vibe after the meeting was over and people were leaving. Of course, I could have stuck around and made more of an effort to introduce myself to people and such, but I feel like a total chickenshit when I walk in the doors of these places.
Maybe I don't give off a "come approach me" vibe either, I really can't say. But if I do it's more that I'm just freaked out and anxious as hell to be there.
I don't know if any of that makes any sense but I figured I'd get it out of my system.
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Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
I hope you both keep going back! There isn't a "right" way to do meetings - diff sponsors (or therapists or whomever) have their opinions or even instructions (ie some sponsors are much stricter about "do this, do that" over things like speaking at a meeting) - especially at first, I'd check on your intent, and if it is to be there and listen and learn and ... be there...then you are on the right track!
Even now, I find when I am insistent on speaking....it doesn't always mean I need to in the meeting itself.
An idea I thought of it to go up to the speaker/mtg leader and say hi, or glad to be here, I'm new....that person should be used to that or at least not surprised!! I don't always say stuff to new people, I must admit - and it's never about the new person or people themselves!
Proud of you both!
Even now, I find when I am insistent on speaking....it doesn't always mean I need to in the meeting itself.
An idea I thought of it to go up to the speaker/mtg leader and say hi, or glad to be here, I'm new....that person should be used to that or at least not surprised!! I don't always say stuff to new people, I must admit - and it's never about the new person or people themselves!
Proud of you both!
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Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 1,068
As someone who has been going to AA meetings for a few years I will offer a slightly different take on greeting and interacting with newcomers. I usually will not approach a newcomer at first because I do not want to be "pushy" about the program. To me the AA program works best as a program of attraction. Given the comments above I realize some may think this unfriendly but that is certainly not my intention. I'll always be friendly if an opportunity to talk comes up but I'm not going to push myself or my views on anyone. My hope is that the newcomer will see the benefits of the program shine through on it's own merits. At least that's what kept me coming back when I started. YMMV.
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Join Date: Jan 2019
Posts: 101
Hi Liveher! I’m so glad you weighed in, it’s really great to hear from someone who’s so early on in their journey as well! I read over your thread too, it sounds like you’re off to a great start and have a good head on your shoulders (albeit an alcoholic one ha). Keep posting! I want to hear more about your journey.
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August- I totally get what you’re saying, and thank you so very much for the support and encouragement (and for “being proud of” me, it’s been a long time since I’ve heard that and believed that the person actually meant it). I just wanted to add that I wasn’t hoping to share just to hear my own voice, absolutely not. Nor did I think that I had anything brilliant to tell this group of 40 or so recovering alcoholics, hardly! What in the hell do I know, right? It was just deflating to build up the courage to share and then not having a chance to do so. Kinda like someone with a major fear of heights going skydiving and, as soon as you drag yourself to the jump door, being told that it’s jammed and you were instead going to be forced to land. I’m sure you get it. Oh well, it looks like I’ll have to make it to another meeting over the weekend so that I can hit my goal before my next therapy session on Monday poor me, right?! Ha
AAPJ- that’s a very good way of thinking about it, I kinda thought that them not wanting to be pushy might have something to do with it. I’m sure they were all doing the best they could and did what they thought was best for their sobriety and A.A. as a whole. I’ll just have to keep on going I guess
poor me, right?! Ha AAPJ- that’s a very good way of thinking about it, I kinda thought that them not wanting to be pushy might have something to do with it. I’m sure they were all doing the best they could and did what they thought was best for their sobriety and A.A. as a whole. I’ll just have to keep on going I guess
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Join Date: Aug 2015
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5329 - can I just say that every single thing you have shared makes sense to me? It really does, and I'll add that sometimes a person at their first or second or whatever very early day it is has the best thing to say in that meeting, for me. It might be just the "stuff" I needed to remember about my first awkward, p*ssed but committed, sick but (too) intelligent self spent in meetings.
I wasn't questioning your intent (ie wanting to hear your own voice- though I have to check that in myself here at 1130 days - I am counting again bc 3 yrs is next wk
). I believe questions are always good - AND that we find answers as we go, listen to others, talk ourselves, and essentially, just Go. That's why "keep coming back" is so frequently said in the round.
And yep, I am proud of you! Glad you took that sincerity - and btw, I had to learn to be proud of myself, and to accept that from others, as I got sober. There really are a lot of amazing similarities among the folks I have gotten to know in AA. My little private school, country club, debutante, blonde self learns as much from "people like me" as I do from people "soooo not."
A
I wasn't questioning your intent (ie wanting to hear your own voice- though I have to check that in myself here at 1130 days - I am counting again bc 3 yrs is next wk
). I believe questions are always good - AND that we find answers as we go, listen to others, talk ourselves, and essentially, just Go. That's why "keep coming back" is so frequently said in the round.And yep, I am proud of you! Glad you took that sincerity - and btw, I had to learn to be proud of myself, and to accept that from others, as I got sober. There really are a lot of amazing similarities among the folks I have gotten to know in AA. My little private school, country club, debutante, blonde self learns as much from "people like me" as I do from people "soooo not."
A
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Join Date: Feb 2019
Posts: 69
5329, that makes a lot of sense... the frustration of the build up and then not speaking. I went to a meeting today and it was a really packed one in a small room.. that gets my nerves going more than an smaller group. I did manage to introduce myself as a newcomer and I haven’t always been able to do that. At first I was so worried that the speaking order would reach me, but it was a meeting about Step 9 so I was able to realize I was being silly and there was nothing other than to say, I’m new and I’m just going to listen today. And the more I listen at the meetings, the less weird and separate I feel. I feel so much compassion and gratitude towards these people sharing their stories. I’ve walked around all my life feeling like an outsider or a separate being,etc. I really feel that these meetings are like a metaphor for life and that I hope that I will finally transform, shed my hard shell and join community. It will take time, patience and perseverance. And showing up when I don’t feel like it... which I can already feel coming around the corner when I think about planning my week. Keep us posted about how your meetings are going.
August, thank you so much for your encouragement and advice.... can’t say enough how people like you have helped me find the courage within to keep trying and showing up!
August, thank you so much for your encouragement and advice.... can’t say enough how people like you have helped me find the courage within to keep trying and showing up!
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