Realest

So I is there a proper or improper way to tell my experience strength and hope. I fell like I have two stories because I was drinking then got sober for two years then relapsed then I’m now sober for a year. My story is very long and painful to tell. So many bad things happened. Hospitals, other bad stuff. What’s the best way to tell your story?

I want to be honest of course but I don’t want to tell everyone about every detail of my life.

sugarbear1

Experience, strength and hope. My sponsor suggests starting about 2 weeks before I stopped and go from there so that the emphasis is on recovery and not the illness.

Realest

That’s a good way to share. I’m always conflicted about whether I should mention that I have clinical depression. Last time I touched upon it people said things like “the steps should help with that.” Maybe I shouldn’t mention that now even after some time I still suffer from it.

Realest

In dr bob and the good old timers they said something like they didn’t talk about their drinking and war stories they knew how to drink

Also I listen to some people who talk and sound good, what it differs from what their actually doing.

Ken33xx

If you feel a need to omit recovery details to avoid ruffling the feathers or upsetting others... well I would consider finding another speaker meeting.

I don't believe it helps anyone especially the newcomer if the speaker doesn't share their experience honestly.

But I understand why one might be reluctant.

I know a fellow who got sober when he was 18 years old. He's got forty years of sobriety. In the 25 years I have know him not once have I ever seem him share without a big smile and laugh. Unfortunately, his eyes tell another story.

Personally, I think 40 years of stiffing his feelings has driven him slightly insane.

Grungehead

My sponsor pointed me to the 2nd paragraph of chapter 5 of the Big Book, "How It Works" when I asked him for help before I told my story for the first time at a speaker meeting. "Our stories disclose in a general way what we used to be like, what happened, and what we are like now". He stressed the word "general" and suggested that I didn't need to go into great detail about every single event that happened to me. I know...I had heard that quote at nearly every AA meeting I've ever been to during the preamble yet it didn't dawn on me until he pointed it out.

I still suffer from clinical depression and anxiety, although it is MUCH better now (almost 6 years sober) than it was when I first got sober. However it's still part of "what it's like now" in my story, and while I don't spend a lot of time talking about it I do bring it up because it may help others who also suffer from it. I found that for me drinking exasperated my depression and anxiety greatly but was not the sole cause of it. Luckily the things I do to maintain my sobriety (abstinence, step work, diet, exercise, gratitude, helping others, etc.) also happen to work well at minimizing the symptoms of my depression and anxiety.

Alcoholics Anonymous 1st Edition p. 58

tomsteve

no. however you do it is how God wanted you to do it.dont have to share anything you dont want to and wise to not share what ya dont want goin beyond the door.

DriGuy

I don't know what the best way to tell your story is. I like the speaker meetings where the person tells his whole story, from the time they take their first drink to where the light came on during recovery. Usually, I already know who and what they are right now. I think an alcoholic's past often explains a lot about who the person is today, at least at a speaker's meeting. During group sharing, I'd rather they stay with the issue under discussion, so as not to derail the topic.

August252015

To wait til you are ready.

I'll have 3 yrs on 2/21 and I haven't done it yet. My husband did his a few wks ago and he is 3 yrs on 6/9/19.

It's not together in my head in a way it is ready for public consumption, if you will - and that's fine. I will know when I'm ready, and keep being honest and progressing with my daily support system.

If it were to stress me out, or someone tell me I really should or such, I would know even more not to share yet.

aasharon90

There are many that share small parts
of their stories when they pick up their
chips. When they ask them to share a
little bit about how they did it, how they
got sober, what brought them to recovery,
a little something about what it was like
before, during and after alcohol.

Another good way to get your story out
is to come here to SR and share your story
with us. It can be anytime you want or
when you reach your sobriety birthday.

Many of us have shared our stories
over the yrs and has helped not only
ourselves in strengthening our own program
but for many others just beginning their
journey in recovery or others in all stages
of recovery.

Over the yrs as you go thru changes in
life and recovery you will pick up things
thru out your drinking career you may
have forgotten and can fix them and
be aware as to not repeat them.

AAPJ

I have heard more than 100 stories from different folks at AA meetings I attend. Some stories several times over. I do not think there is a right or wrong way to share your story at an AA meeting. I also do not believe that sharing your drinking story is even necessary if it makes you uncomfortable. I'm comfortable sharing my story but after hearing enough AA stories I'm not sure how much another drunk's story will help. For me if the story is too long and detailed it gets kind of boring. But I realize that some folks feel a need to share their story in great detail as part of their recovery process so if they go on and on and I get bored I just relax and meditate a bit until they are done. Also I think a lot of other folks in the room get more out of hearing someone's story than I do and it isn't all about me and what I like.

When I share at a meeting, I usually just share small pieces of my story as they relate to the topic at hand. If someone asks me to lead a meeting I would not focus on my drinking history. I would focus on a recovery topic.

Ken33xx

As far as preparing to give a speech I write out it out. Not necessarily word for word but key points to ensure I stay on track.

Roughly 40-45 minutes is what I aim for.

What I do is practice at home and then bring the speech with me up to the podium. This allows me to look down from time to time and stay on target.

I gave my first speech at the 1-yr mark and it was only about 20 minutes at most. I don't feel comfortable just winging it.

Some people have a natural flair for giving a good presentation but many do not.

A bit of presentation on my part keeps the speech moving and the room listening.

Ken33xx

Correction:
A bit of preparation on my part keeps the speech moving and the room listening.

Realest

I have on several occasions just shared honestly and talking about my depression. It helped people. But other people they say that the steps should help with depression. And it makes me mad. But I just gotta be honest you’re right.

Realest

Thanks that help me a lot.

I just be honest that’s all. You’re right the old timers say that’s god shaking the truth out of you.

Realest

I must of spoke about 30 times since I was in AA before and I find the best way is to just share honestly straight from the heart.

Realest

I must of spoke about 30 times since I was in AA before and I find the best way is to just share honestly straight from the heart. I find some people who say they worked thesteps and their life is just great I can’t relate but that’s okay. I just to identify not compare.

Realest

Doesn’t he discuss his feelings at all? 18 is relatively young age to get sober.

Ken33xx

I think he was taught that in an AA meeting to present a happy face at all times along with a positive/upbeat message.

The man is in his late fifties and is basically lost. The only life he's ever known are rooms of AA.

sugarbear1

Honesty
Openmindedness and
Willingness help immensely.

Asking your hp for the words to say that someone needs to hear: Priceless