What’s the best way to tell your story in an AA meeting
12 Step Recovered Alcoholic
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 6,613
Originally Posted by Ken33xx 
As far as preparing to give a speech I write out it out. Not necessarily word for word but key points to ensure I stay on track.
Roughly 40-45 minutes is what I aim for.
What I do is practice at home and then bring the speech with me up to the podium. This allows me to look down from time to time and stay on target.
I gave my first speech at the 1-yr mark and it was only about 20 minutes at most. I don't feel comfortable just winging it.
Some people have a natural flair for giving a good presentation but many do not.
A bit of presentation on my part keeps the speech moving and the room listening.
Roughly 40-45 minutes is what I aim for.
What I do is practice at home and then bring the speech with me up to the podium. This allows me to look down from time to time and stay on target.
I gave my first speech at the 1-yr mark and it was only about 20 minutes at most. I don't feel comfortable just winging it.
Some people have a natural flair for giving a good presentation but many do not.
A bit of presentation on my part keeps the speech moving and the room listening.
My own practice is to take on board some of the suggestions in "Working with Others" and consider how best to approach this audience and what particular parts of my story might be useful. Be beginning either speaking or sharing I like to pray that God will help me say something that will be useful to someone.
To be helpful is our only aim.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2019
Posts: 211
Originally Posted by Ken33xx
I think he was taught that in an AA meeting to present a happy face at all times along with a positive/upbeat message.
The man is in his late fifties and is basically lost. The only life he's ever known are rooms of AA.
The man is in his late fifties and is basically lost. The only life he's ever known are rooms of AA.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 2,775
Originally Posted by Realest
Why is he basically lost?
But here's the kicker: I don't think he's actually an alcoholic. His story is weird and vague. Something about a doctor questioning his brother's drinking habits and this guy then deciding he needed AA.
His story mentions the camaraderie and a feeling of belong after joining AA.
To play armchair shrink I think he found in the rooms what he lacked outside be it family or friends.
It`s ok to stay sober
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Central NC
Posts: 20,902
I`ve probally told my story 500 times
a few things I try to do
I always pray first
I tell the truth
and don`t try to be somebody behind the podium I ain`t
I start with my first drunk and go from there to where I got to AA and why I got to AA
then I usually share what life is like today,sober using the tools AA gave me
leave it at the podium when you are done
feel free to mention depression but do not dwell on it
in my home group step meeting,every week someone shares 20 minutes,5 minutes qualifying,15 minutes on the step
tonight I rode to a speaker meeting,a lady sober 6 months talked,she did pretty good
a few things I try to do
I always pray first
I tell the truth
and don`t try to be somebody behind the podium I ain`t
I start with my first drunk and go from there to where I got to AA and why I got to AA
then I usually share what life is like today,sober using the tools AA gave me
leave it at the podium when you are done
feel free to mention depression but do not dwell on it
in my home group step meeting,every week someone shares 20 minutes,5 minutes qualifying,15 minutes on the step
tonight I rode to a speaker meeting,a lady sober 6 months talked,she did pretty good
It`s ok to stay sober
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Central NC
Posts: 20,902
second set of directions in the BB for telling your story
brought to my attention by a lady in AA
from There is a Solution,first edition
Each individual, in the personal stories, describes in his own language and from his own point of view the way he established his relationship with God.
brought to my attention by a lady in AA
from There is a Solution,first edition
Each individual, in the personal stories, describes in his own language and from his own point of view the way he established his relationship with God.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2019
Posts: 211
Originally Posted by Ken33xx
His life appears completely AA centered. Not sure he knows how to establish non-AA relationships. His identity appears wrapped in being an "old-timer."
But here's the kicker: I don't think he's actually an alcoholic. His story is weird and vague. Something about a doctor questioning his brother's drinking habits and this guy then deciding he needed AA.
His story mentions the camaraderie and a feeling of belong after joining AA.
To play armchair shrink I think he found in the rooms what he lacked outside be it family or friends.
But here's the kicker: I don't think he's actually an alcoholic. His story is weird and vague. Something about a doctor questioning his brother's drinking habits and this guy then deciding he needed AA.
His story mentions the camaraderie and a feeling of belong after joining AA.
To play armchair shrink I think he found in the rooms what he lacked outside be it family or friends.
Guest
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 1,271
Originally Posted by Realest
So I is there a proper or improper way to tell my experience strength and hope. I fell like I have two stories because I was drinking then got sober for two years then relapsed then I’m now sober for a year. My story is very long and painful to tell. So many bad things happened. Hospitals, other bad stuff. What’s the best way to tell your story?
I want to be honest of course but I don’t want to tell everyone about every detail of my life.
I want to be honest of course but I don’t want to tell everyone about every detail of my life.
As others mentioned, we talk about what it was like, what we did to recover, and what life is like now.
I find that those stories that had way more emphasis on what it was like did not help people as much as hearing what they did to recover and what life is like now. We all know what it was like. Our stories are all the same even though the details are different.
I hope once again I didn't p*ss you off here.... Seriously I'm trying to help. My shares used to be awful and didn't help anyone.
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: canada
Posts: 7,242
actually, we are to tell what we were like, not our lives, and what happened and what we are like now, not our lives.
i find this difference important, as it puts the focus on change in us as opposed to life itself which could, after all, still be full of crap
i find this difference important, as it puts the focus on change in us as opposed to life itself which could, after all, still be full of crap
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2019
Posts: 211
Originally Posted by Pathwaytofree
An AA friend pointed out to me that the big book says we tell our story in a general way. I appreciated that.
As others mentioned, we talk about what it was like, what we did to recover, and what life is like now.
I find that those stories that had way more emphasis on what it was like did not help people as much as hearing what they did to recover and what life is like now. We all know what it was like. Our stories are all the same even though the details are different.
I hope once again I didn't p*ss you off here.... Seriously I'm trying to help. My shares used to be awful and didn't help anyone.
As others mentioned, we talk about what it was like, what we did to recover, and what life is like now.
I find that those stories that had way more emphasis on what it was like did not help people as much as hearing what they did to recover and what life is like now. We all know what it was like. Our stories are all the same even though the details are different.
I hope once again I didn't p*ss you off here.... Seriously I'm trying to help. My shares used to be awful and didn't help anyone.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Colorado
Posts: 3,781
I didn’t share anything, not one word for 8 months / a year.., someone said go to 90 meetings in 90 days if you’re serious.. I think I did 250 meetings in 90 I was sick.. one day after not saying a word I finally opened up and started talking.. what a relief.. I had to throw my pride and ego out the window... it’s a fact talking about these things helps and I had to get that off my chest !! This was just my personal experience!
Wishing you the best,
Wishing you the best,
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: West Tn
Posts: 3,043
The audiences I have always spoken to have always been friendly ones.
I start by talking a little about childhood and my first exposures to alcohol.
Then I talk about:
1. experimenting with alcohol,
2. starting to drink it,
3. the progression of my heavy drinking into out-of-hand drinking;
4. the consequences of my drinking;
5. how being a chronic alcoholic made me feel - like the 4 horsemen of heavy drinking;
6. early thoughts about getting sober as I grew into a rather blurry existence;
7. getting help (in my case treatment);
8. working the AA program, especially working the 12 steps with my sponsor; and
9. the manifestation of the Promises in my life.
Great topic for a thread.
Let us know how you do.
I start by talking a little about childhood and my first exposures to alcohol.
Then I talk about:
1. experimenting with alcohol,
2. starting to drink it,
3. the progression of my heavy drinking into out-of-hand drinking;
4. the consequences of my drinking;
5. how being a chronic alcoholic made me feel - like the 4 horsemen of heavy drinking;
6. early thoughts about getting sober as I grew into a rather blurry existence;
7. getting help (in my case treatment);
8. working the AA program, especially working the 12 steps with my sponsor; and
9. the manifestation of the Promises in my life.
Great topic for a thread.
Let us know how you do.
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Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 1,271
Originally Posted by fini
actually, we are to tell what we were like, not our lives, and what happened and what we are like now, not our lives.
i find this difference important, as it puts the focus on change in us as opposed to life itself which could, after all, still be full of crap
i find this difference important, as it puts the focus on change in us as opposed to life itself which could, after all, still be full of crap
Guest
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 1,271
Originally Posted by Realest
No you didnt **** me off. Why would you? Yea sharing in a general way is good. Why were your shares awful
My shares in the beginning were awful, because they were babbling, boring, overly detailed, and didn't make much point.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: West Tn
Posts: 3,043
In AA, the only mistakes you can make are to not come back and to not speak from the heart.
We speak the language of the heart and make ourselves vulnerable.
When I tell my story, that is what I try to do.
We talk about intensely real and personal matters - not general blather of living in the suburbs, having 2.2 kids, what kind of car we drive, etc.
We are not at meetings to impress anyone.
No polish, no external veneer or hubris - just gut level honesty about how I have lived my life with and without alcohol.
One of the best things about recovery is that we never have to be "on" or "professional" or "polished".
Just be ourselves and share our feelings, our travails and our progress and setbacks.
We speak the language of the heart and make ourselves vulnerable.
When I tell my story, that is what I try to do.
We talk about intensely real and personal matters - not general blather of living in the suburbs, having 2.2 kids, what kind of car we drive, etc.
We are not at meetings to impress anyone.
No polish, no external veneer or hubris - just gut level honesty about how I have lived my life with and without alcohol.
One of the best things about recovery is that we never have to be "on" or "professional" or "polished".
Just be ourselves and share our feelings, our travails and our progress and setbacks.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2017
Posts: 334
If you're talking about doing a lead, here is what I generally do (based on watching other leads I've enjoyed):
-Background of my upbringing to point out several things- alcoholism is generational in my family, I did not ever really have healthy coping skills, first drink
-What happened- progression of how alcohol impacted my life with examples of things I've experienced. This is important, IMO, because a newcomer needs to hear their story when they come to AA. It always helps someone to think, I did that too!
-What happened that made me get sober and the feelings I had at that time- fear of being an alcoholic, dealing with wreckage, being young and thinking I can never drink again. Put it into words so that people realize you can feel all those things and still get sober.
-How I recovered, following the process I took through the12 Steps (learned this through someone I have enormous respect for tin the program.
-What it's like now- how the Promises are occurring in ny life. I don't scrimp on this, because people listening need to know it can get better.
-Thabk them for their time
-Background of my upbringing to point out several things- alcoholism is generational in my family, I did not ever really have healthy coping skills, first drink
-What happened- progression of how alcohol impacted my life with examples of things I've experienced. This is important, IMO, because a newcomer needs to hear their story when they come to AA. It always helps someone to think, I did that too!
-What happened that made me get sober and the feelings I had at that time- fear of being an alcoholic, dealing with wreckage, being young and thinking I can never drink again. Put it into words so that people realize you can feel all those things and still get sober.
-How I recovered, following the process I took through the12 Steps (learned this through someone I have enormous respect for tin the program.
-What it's like now- how the Promises are occurring in ny life. I don't scrimp on this, because people listening need to know it can get better.
-Thabk them for their time
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