Realest

Yes. She also gives other people resentments too.

DriGuy

Quoting the Big Book is a far cry from expertise in the application of sobriety. The source itself is a philosophical treatise, and philosophical ideologies are mixtures of fact and opinion. The more important measure is the strength and joy in one's sobriety. While this cannot be measured empirically, it's is the real bottom line.

Realest

No quoting the big book doesn’t mean expertise

Realest

No quoting the big book doesn’t mean expertise. I hear people with three months share act like they now everything. I much rather speaker from my experience or speak from the heart.

Realest

No quoting the big book doesn’t mean expertise. I hear people with three months share act like they now everything. I much rather speaker from my experience or speak from the heart.

Ken33xx

I couldn't agree more. It's not how well you sound in the rooms or how many people you sponsor or how many years you have What's important is how you deal with the ups/downs in life.

A big part of my sobriety is I have never forgotten the life I had just before I joined AA 26 years ago.

And no matter how I spin things today the difficulties I have are of a quality nature. Problems to be sure.

But quality problems which are a direct result of being sober.

AAPJ

While I find most of the BB Know It Alls (BBKIA) to be annoying I do not hate them. My guess is the OP does not hate them either. They just annoy us. Anyone who goes to enough AA meetings will eventually run into a BBKIA (or 2 or 3...). This really is no surprise considering that everyone in an AA meeting is defective in some way. That's why we are there.

I also run into KIAs at my place of work and in every other social group I am involved with. They are not unique to AA so I certainly do not use their presence at an AA meeting as an excuse not to go.

What I have seen that I really enjoy is when a BBKIA spouts off a pile of XXX at a meeting and then a super old timer (20+ years) puts the BBKIA in his place. Happened at a meeting I attend regularly just a couple of weeks ago. Jim (40+ years sober) had a response that really put the guy in his place. Only an old timer with many many years of sobriety can pull this off successfully. The BBKIA may know more facts/details about the literature than old Jim but what the BBKIA is missing is the spiritual part of the message. Factual knowledge is no substitute for spiritual sobriety. After the meeting I made it a point to talk to old Jim and thank him for what he said.

Tommyh

one solution to this problem is to take our own inventory instead of someone else or we may grow to be just like them
today,we all have a choice
I would rather have freedom than blow off a little bit of steam

August252015

Yes - and I took that single post "resentment?" as a question I'd need to ask myself here, not assess what others' may have against any other members.

Realest

You’re right the old timers can put these bbkia’s in their place. But I hear people with a month or two sound like experts. I don’t hate these people that’s a strong word. But I do dislike the way they share because when someone was sharing from their heart or gut the belittle them using our literature. Ry are rude and mean. And They act like their on a spiritual mountaintop. I have to remember that these people have character defects.

August252015

Dave42001

This made me laugh out loud! Super Old Timers!! Hahaha! Thanks for sharing!

There’s a BBKIA In my group and I’ve heard him so many times over the years when he speaks it sounds like the teacher on Charlie Brown.. “Wah wah wah, wah wah wah!” It doesn’t even register anymore., it puts in in a trance..

tomsteve

who allows themselves to get the resentment?? she cant give people resentments unless those people allow it to happen. then while all them people are walkin around all miserable, its not bothering her one bit.

BB thumpin time!!

Referring to our list again. Putting out of our minds the wrongs others had done, we resolutely looked for our own mistakes. Where had we been selfish, dishonest, self-seeking and frightened? Though a situation had not been entirely our fault, we tried to disregard the other person involved entirely. Where were we to blame? The inventory was ours, not the other man's. When we saw our faults we listed them. We placed them before us in black and white. We admitted our wrongs honestly and were willing to set these matters straight.

one of the absolute hardest things for me to accept is no one gives me a resentment unless i allow it to happen.
i found resentments dont automatically happen. it starts with frustration-typically people,places,or things arent doing what i think they should. if i catch it then its pretty easy to take care of. if i dont catch it, it leads to anger and is a little harder to take care of. if i dont catch it at anger, then i get a resentment. a little harder to fix but still fixable.
if i dont take care of that there is a high probability that i'll get drunk.
i honestly dont think i have another recovery in me.

i prefer to check myself when i first start gettin buggered up.

August252015

A cliche that's so true.....resentments are letting people live rent free in our head.

I am definitely an alcoholic who could let this specific issue drive me batty, and probably to drink. And it's one that is actually within MY control. Not easy, so critical....

Realest

I get rid of a resentment by doing the opposite and loving and sending thoughts of love towards them. I’m going to pray for this person for God to soften my heart towards them. My part is I fear they will ruin the meetings.

Tommyh

around here is an oldtimer with an abrasive personality
we can`t change him
the meeting has dwindled a lot from 45 + people down to 4

Realest

That’s not a good reason to leave because of one person.

Ken33xx

There was an old-timer like that at my previous home group. If he thought you were full of it he'd say so. Maybe 2 or 3 of his sponsee were regulars and generally backed up what he said.

The meeting time and location was perfect for a lot of members but inevitably they would get tired of this old-timers rants and stop attending.

When I left there were maybe 5 regulars.

Where I'm at now there is an AA clubhouse close by and I have no problem attending meetings which I like.

Ken33xx

Let me add this to the above: The old-timer I mentioned isn't a BB thumper or AA know-it-all. He's the opposite and believes those who spend their time quote/parroting the BB are full of it. Now, while I tend to agree I do believe everyone is entitled to their opinion. Making others uncomfortable by cross-talking in a roundabout way doesn't help those in attendance.

However, anyone who has attended AA meeting for any length of times know some groups in which a couple of members set the tone. And you either see things their way or the underhanded barbs come out.

I got tired of the atmosphere but the meeting fit my schedule and the location was perfect.

I'm glad to have moved on.

Gottalife

Careful Realest. Your are very close to quoting the big book here