Too many meetings?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 7
Too many meetings?
Hello all. I am wondering if anyone here has ever felt like they attend too many meetings.
I have been in AA and free from alcohol since May 2012. I have not used marijuana since September 2013. I am about one year into my two year term as the GSR of my homegroup, which is about a 7 minute drive from my house.
Earlier this year I initiated process of merging our group with another group that held meetings at the same church we do, on the nights we didn't have meetings. (That group was really struggling with low attendance and sometimes people not even showing up to unlock the door.) Our group now has meetings Monday through Friday at 12:00 pm and 7:00 pm. We also meet Saturday at 9:00 am. My old committed meetings at my homegroup were Mondays and Thursdays at 7:00 pm and the Saturday 9:00 am meeting; three meetings a week. Each week I would often go to one or two meetings elsewhere as I live in an area with lots of different meetings.
I started a new job earlier this year where I work from home so I am able to attend many of the 12:00 pm meetings if I want, in addition to all the night meetings during the week. For the last couple months it has been common for me to do two meetings a day a couple times a week. Last week I was on vacation so I went to 10 meetings in 6 days at my homegroup. I feel this was definitely too much.
Some points about why I think something is off:
1. I grow resentful at people with substantial sobriety time who (I feel) don't attend enough meetings or don't do enough to help the group or the newcomers.
2. Sometimes I feel like AA is my whole life. Without it, my social life is very limited. I feel like a freak attending so many more meetings than other people.
3. I know I miss attending other groups that are not my homegroup.
4. I want to cut back but I feel a responsibility to attend the three "new" meetings that are a result of the previously mentioned merger. And I have a hard time divorcing myself from my previously committed meetings.
There are a bunch of positive things from so many meetings. Another homegroup member that I really look up to told me that he has never seen someone who attends as many meetings as I do, and is as involved in service as I am, not stay sober. He also said that if something horrible happens in my life I will be much better equipped to deal with it than if I was only attending one or two meetings a week.
One time I asked my old sponsor if he ever meets people outside of AA, and if, when they learn the great extent of involvement he has with AA, (sponsoring, lots of meetings, conferences/conventions, etc.), do they ask him why he is so involved? He said "Even if I do all the things I do in AA at this level for the rest of my life, I will barely be scratching the surface of the level of energy and time I put into getting drunk."
Thanks in advance for any replies.
I have been in AA and free from alcohol since May 2012. I have not used marijuana since September 2013. I am about one year into my two year term as the GSR of my homegroup, which is about a 7 minute drive from my house.
Earlier this year I initiated process of merging our group with another group that held meetings at the same church we do, on the nights we didn't have meetings. (That group was really struggling with low attendance and sometimes people not even showing up to unlock the door.) Our group now has meetings Monday through Friday at 12:00 pm and 7:00 pm. We also meet Saturday at 9:00 am. My old committed meetings at my homegroup were Mondays and Thursdays at 7:00 pm and the Saturday 9:00 am meeting; three meetings a week. Each week I would often go to one or two meetings elsewhere as I live in an area with lots of different meetings.
I started a new job earlier this year where I work from home so I am able to attend many of the 12:00 pm meetings if I want, in addition to all the night meetings during the week. For the last couple months it has been common for me to do two meetings a day a couple times a week. Last week I was on vacation so I went to 10 meetings in 6 days at my homegroup. I feel this was definitely too much.
Some points about why I think something is off:
1. I grow resentful at people with substantial sobriety time who (I feel) don't attend enough meetings or don't do enough to help the group or the newcomers.
2. Sometimes I feel like AA is my whole life. Without it, my social life is very limited. I feel like a freak attending so many more meetings than other people.
3. I know I miss attending other groups that are not my homegroup.
4. I want to cut back but I feel a responsibility to attend the three "new" meetings that are a result of the previously mentioned merger. And I have a hard time divorcing myself from my previously committed meetings.
There are a bunch of positive things from so many meetings. Another homegroup member that I really look up to told me that he has never seen someone who attends as many meetings as I do, and is as involved in service as I am, not stay sober. He also said that if something horrible happens in my life I will be much better equipped to deal with it than if I was only attending one or two meetings a week.
One time I asked my old sponsor if he ever meets people outside of AA, and if, when they learn the great extent of involvement he has with AA, (sponsoring, lots of meetings, conferences/conventions, etc.), do they ask him why he is so involved? He said "Even if I do all the things I do in AA at this level for the rest of my life, I will barely be scratching the surface of the level of energy and time I put into getting drunk."
Thanks in advance for any replies.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,234
Finding balance in everything we do is
important. We are just one person, one
speck in the bigger scheme of things.
It is important to me and my own recovery
life to continue to help others just as they
did and still do for me in some way or another.
As a stay at home wife and mom when I entered
recovery 28 yrs ago, I had to learn about balance.
Taking care of a family takes a lot of responsibility
and time. However, to remain sober no matter
what, I had to also be responsible for my own
recovery program and learn how to successfully
incorporate it in my everyday affairs.
I remember talking to my sponsor about
being too scared to talk in meetings and she
explained to me that, they have to have the
talkers and they have to have the listeners
and that when the right time to speak, then
I would know it.
Sure enough that time did eventually come
and it was okay. I didn't die from sharing my
own ESH.
I use to bake and bring a platter of eats to
many of my meetings I went to for quite a
few yrs as a way of my own service work while
others made coffee, greeters at the door,
cleaning ash trays, opening meetings, etc.
Like I shared earlier, we all play some part
in meetings and what little bit I did, was
huge for me while learning how to find balance
in family life and my own sobriety.
It's okay to pass the baton to the next person
teaching them the ropes and maybe taking up
a new responsibility that works well with your
own program.
Today, I spend most of my time here in SR
sharing my own ESH experiences, strengths
and hopes with others as a way of remaining
responsible in my own recovery and sobriety.
I have to remember that I cant keep what
I have been blessed with if I dont pass it
on.
Of course this is how it has worked for me
in helping me achieve health, happiness as
well as honesty.
important. We are just one person, one
speck in the bigger scheme of things.
It is important to me and my own recovery
life to continue to help others just as they
did and still do for me in some way or another.
As a stay at home wife and mom when I entered
recovery 28 yrs ago, I had to learn about balance.
Taking care of a family takes a lot of responsibility
and time. However, to remain sober no matter
what, I had to also be responsible for my own
recovery program and learn how to successfully
incorporate it in my everyday affairs.
I remember talking to my sponsor about
being too scared to talk in meetings and she
explained to me that, they have to have the
talkers and they have to have the listeners
and that when the right time to speak, then
I would know it.
Sure enough that time did eventually come
and it was okay. I didn't die from sharing my
own ESH.
I use to bake and bring a platter of eats to
many of my meetings I went to for quite a
few yrs as a way of my own service work while
others made coffee, greeters at the door,
cleaning ash trays, opening meetings, etc.
Like I shared earlier, we all play some part
in meetings and what little bit I did, was
huge for me while learning how to find balance
in family life and my own sobriety.
It's okay to pass the baton to the next person
teaching them the ropes and maybe taking up
a new responsibility that works well with your
own program.
Today, I spend most of my time here in SR
sharing my own ESH experiences, strengths
and hopes with others as a way of remaining
responsible in my own recovery and sobriety.
I have to remember that I cant keep what
I have been blessed with if I dont pass it
on.
Of course this is how it has worked for me
in helping me achieve health, happiness as
well as honesty.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 5,153
I tried to read between the lines, but I wasn't picking up anything much about why this is a problem. You probably need to sort it out more so you can explain what the problem is to others, and to yourself. Then if you feel you need to change your direction, you can take the necessary action.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 7
Originally Posted by DriGuy 
I wasn't picking up anything much about why this is a problem. You probably need to sort it out more so you can explain what the problem is to others, and to yourself.
Thank you Dee74 and aasharon90. I think balance is incredibly important, that is something I learned early on. All things in balance.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
straight from the BB:
None of us makes a sole vocation of this work, nor do we think its effectiveness would be increased if we did. We feel that elimination of our drinking is but a beginning. A much more important demonstration of our principles lies before us in our respective homes, occupations and affairs. All of us spend much of our spare time in the sort of effort which we are going to describe. A few are fortunate enough to be so situated that they can give nearly all their time to the work.
after the steps have gone through there should be only one motive for going to meetings: to show the newcomers precisely how we have recovered.
i OD'ed on meetings for quite some time. took up many service positions. doing some 10th step work helped me find the motive behind it.
None of us makes a sole vocation of this work, nor do we think its effectiveness would be increased if we did. We feel that elimination of our drinking is but a beginning. A much more important demonstration of our principles lies before us in our respective homes, occupations and affairs. All of us spend much of our spare time in the sort of effort which we are going to describe. A few are fortunate enough to be so situated that they can give nearly all their time to the work.
after the steps have gone through there should be only one motive for going to meetings: to show the newcomers precisely how we have recovered.
i OD'ed on meetings for quite some time. took up many service positions. doing some 10th step work helped me find the motive behind it.
It`s ok to stay sober
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Central NC
Posts: 20,902
hiya Tomsteve,glad to see you
my suggestion is to make 2 a week,your choice
remember,it`s the steps we take not the meetings we make that restores us to sanity.I been there and one day I decided to do something different.I now go to 2 a week,every week,and my main focus is on living the steps.I also have time to give to my family and my life is a lot better.of course you can always add a meeting if you wan too
my suggestion is to make 2 a week,your choice
remember,it`s the steps we take not the meetings we make that restores us to sanity.I been there and one day I decided to do something different.I now go to 2 a week,every week,and my main focus is on living the steps.I also have time to give to my family and my life is a lot better.of course you can always add a meeting if you wan too
Member
Join Date: Nov 2018
Posts: 5,153
Originally Posted by MericanSpirit
I listed four direct reasons why I feel something is off.
On the other hand, I remember one guy complain that one person was always running a particular meeting, and wouldn't give it up so someone else would have a chance. There was a case where someone sounded like he wanted to want to help, but wasn't being given the chance, or maybe he just wanted to complain. I don't know, and I don't know if a bunch of others agreed with him or not, and I don't know if that current group leader was actually that adamant about not letting someone else take charge.
When you get that many people all in a group together, it shouldn't be surprising that these and other problems crop up. One time we hosted a state wide meeting, which required a lot of coordination and preparation. Three or four people dropped out of AA after it was over because they were upset that not everyone was pulling their weight, although I can't remember any of them bringing this up at a meeting. This was sad because these were important group members, and they never returned.
Not everything goes according to the way everyone wants. Total satisfaction and agreement doesn't seem like the default state of most organizations.
Life is good
Join Date: Apr 2018
Posts: 4,036
There are many path for wellness.
What Higher Power/God/Great Spirit calls us to, or the way we're guided, is very individual.
I'm in a different 12 step program and there's been an ebb and flow to my recovery. Every part of it is something I gain good awareness, clarity, healing and growth from in some kind of way.
What works again and again is to pray, meditate, take this one day at a time.
More is always revealed.
What Higher Power/God/Great Spirit calls us to, or the way we're guided, is very individual.
I'm in a different 12 step program and there's been an ebb and flow to my recovery. Every part of it is something I gain good awareness, clarity, healing and growth from in some kind of way.
What works again and again is to pray, meditate, take this one day at a time.
More is always revealed.
12-Step Recovered Alkie
Join Date: May 2010
Location: West Bloomfield, MI
Posts: 5,797
Originally Posted by MericanSpirit
Hello all. I am wondering if anyone here has ever felt like they attend too many meetings.
Some points about why I think something is off:
1. I grow resentful at people with substantial sobriety time who (I feel) don't attend enough meetings or don't do enough to help the group or the newcomers.
2. Sometimes I feel like AA is my whole life. Without it, my social life is very limited. I feel like a freak attending so many more meetings than other people.
3. I know I miss attending other groups that are not my homegroup.
4. I want to cut back but I feel a responsibility to attend the three "new" meetings that are a result of the previously mentioned merger. And I have a hard time divorcing myself from my previously committed meetings.
Some points about why I think something is off:
1. I grow resentful at people with substantial sobriety time who (I feel) don't attend enough meetings or don't do enough to help the group or the newcomers.
2. Sometimes I feel like AA is my whole life. Without it, my social life is very limited. I feel like a freak attending so many more meetings than other people.
3. I know I miss attending other groups that are not my homegroup.
4. I want to cut back but I feel a responsibility to attend the three "new" meetings that are a result of the previously mentioned merger. And I have a hard time divorcing myself from my previously committed meetings.
Maybe like you, I heard at least twice at almost every meeting I went to how important attending meetings is.....or should be......to stay sober. Since almost everyone talked about this concept I figured it had to be right, that it had to be part of the recovery process.
I would estimate that for a lot of people in many of the meetings I've been to and/or go to, all that's really needed for some attendee's recovery IS attending some meetings. Once they put the plug in the jug (which they have the power to do) they're perfectly capable of running their lives and all they need is an occasional reminder or pick-me-up (aka - "a sufficient reason") to not drink and they're good to go.
Naturally, these folks will share from their experience -- stop drinking and attend a lot of meetings and everything will be fine.
I've gotten over a lot of MY RESENTMENTS of folks like I just described in the past handful of years though. Sure, they're not sharing the AA message but how could they? They have a different condition and a different solution.....they haven't had to seek a spiritual awakening so they couldn't possibly carry a message of depth and weight on how to do so. Carrying that message is the responsibility of those who've done it and those who've experienced it. Sometimes I can be a great messenger but I'm not perfect. Some new folks will connect better with other ppl in the group just because of various personality traits we all have. And really, maybe in God's plan there's another recovered member who needs to sponsor that new person even more than I do. So, as to your point #1 - I feel ya man. I've been there a TON myself and I've done a pretty fair amount of inventorying, praying, meditating, and guidance-seeking to begin to get past those resentments I tend to harbor. Perhaps the same is in order for you?
As for the other 3, I wonder if you, like me, have been led to believe that the meeting IS AA. Or, I wonder if maybe you, again like me, made the unconscious decision that your new Higher Power will be your weekly meeting attendance number? When that was my belief, well.... I just HAD to be at meetings. I had to hit all the new ones and keep up all the regular ones I liked. I had to be at 1 meeting, then it was 2, then 3 a week, then 6, then - well, you get the picture. Then there's the selfish aspect to consider. Why did I have to be there.....well, because in my mind I was the only one capable of conveying THE message. No way could God talk through one of the other ppl. Nope, it had to be me.
I wonder........does that sort of behavior remind me of anything from my past? Hmmmm. Oh yeah, kinda reminds me of how I drank. Oh man, once again, here I am I'm engaging in alcoholism only now I'm doing it with meetings, or carrying the message, or X or Y, instead of just drinking.
I believe this is precisely why we have the instruction in step 10 to CONTINUE to look for selfishness, dishonesty, resentment and fear because even with a number of years under our belt our alcoholism can still be a subtle foe. It'll even crop up in activities that seem like "good things" (ie. meeting attendance, carrying the message, etc).
In a nutshell, my suspicion is that if you feel something's off....... well........ something's probably off. The beauty of the program of AA though, is that you have a precise set of instructions on what to do to figure out what it is, how to process it, and how to recover from it. We simply process that issue through the same 12 steps that we processed our drinking through and we'll get the information AND the solution we need to go back to living life in serenity.
Interesting little fact - even Bill Wilson felt the same issues. Yep. Even Bill discovered (at around 23 years of sobriety in his case) that HE had an over dependence upon AA. lol! So you're in good company my friend. Even one of our co-founders of the whole damn program fell into the same rut. In case you're curious, here's part of what Bill wrote about his discovery -
"In the first six months of my own sobriety, I worked hard with many alcoholics. Not a one responded. Yet this work kept me sober. It wasn't a question of those alcoholics giving me anything. My stability came out of trying to give, not out of demanding that I receive.
Thus I think it can work out with emotional sobriety. If we examine every disturbance we have, great or small, we will find at the root of it some unhealthy dependency and its consequent unhealthy demand. Let us, with God's help, continually surrender these hobbling demands. Then we can be set free to live and love; we may then be able to Twelfth Step ourselves and others into emotional sobriety."
I'd bet you've got a wonderful experience ahead of you. It sounds to me like God's presenting you with some warning-signs (your points 1 through 4) that something is out of balance and now you get to practice the principals in a different area of your life. The result for me has always been a deeper and more fluid relationship with God, and isn't that REALLY the name of the game around here?
Best of luck to you my friend. I'm excited for what's coming for you.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 573
I embrace AA so I can live my life. I don't live my life for AA. Like someone else mentioned, balance is key. And that's a difficult thing for a lot of people in recovery. Alcoholics like extremes. It's how we rolled for a long time. If you feel like something is off, then it probably is. Do what you need to do to stay healthy mentally. Everybody's program is different.
Last edited by BlownOne; 12-03-2018 at 06:49 AM. Reason: spelling
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
To answer your question in short, no.
Varying which meetings I attend has been great along the way (2 yr going in 10 mo) and I've def kept in mind how many I need to go to for keeping my emotional sobriety well balanced. That's my measure of how secure I am in my recovery.
I also call recovery the backdrop of my life. AA is one important (crucial) piece.
Varying which meetings I attend has been great along the way (2 yr going in 10 mo) and I've def kept in mind how many I need to go to for keeping my emotional sobriety well balanced. That's my measure of how secure I am in my recovery.
I also call recovery the backdrop of my life. AA is one important (crucial) piece.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 24
If something feels off about it stop doing it. You shouldn't be carrying so much more responsibility than everyone else.
It sounds to me, and correct me if I'm wrong, you wish to become bulletproof to relapse. You have even been told by others it makes you stronger, and that's their opinion by the way but the one you want to hear. My guess is that if something big does happen in your life and it causes you to miss meetings, it's going to throw you for an emotional loop and actually put you at risk.
Approach people you think may benefit from more involvement and see if they will unlock, setup, chair, etc. It might really help you both.
It sounds to me, and correct me if I'm wrong, you wish to become bulletproof to relapse. You have even been told by others it makes you stronger, and that's their opinion by the way but the one you want to hear. My guess is that if something big does happen in your life and it causes you to miss meetings, it's going to throw you for an emotional loop and actually put you at risk.
Approach people you think may benefit from more involvement and see if they will unlock, setup, chair, etc. It might really help you both.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 2,775
Originally Posted by BlownOne
I embrace AA so I can live my life. I don't live my life for AA. Like someone else mentioned, balance is key. And that's a difficult thing for a lot of people in recovery. Alcoholics like extremes. It's how we rolled for a long time. If you feel like something is off, then it probably is. Do what you need to do to stay healthy mentally. Everybody's program is different.
There it is.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Adelaide, Australia
Posts: 28,637
MS- you are a devoted and consistent member of AA. When I was in my recovery program (Salvo's- mandatory counselling VERY DEEP, housing )I ran 2 lunchtime meetings in the city- chairing, treasurer, catering- all in one role. These meetings often have transient people- travelling from one side of the country to the other, the homeless... these meetings were often made a task to run, as many of the people at them were unstable with their addiction/s and had the emotions to go with it. I had said to the stalwarts of this meeting, I was prepared to run both- until I was given long term housing out of the city. Which I did.
I am now the treasurer for a much smaller group- out of the city with a small patronage.
Why blab on? Because for me it is balance. I understand what you mean about AA seeming to be one's entire world. My sponsor is a career AA-er, and loves it. He sponsors, drives hundreds of k's to go to new meetings, guest speaks, plus lots more. He is also retired, has a large family that loves and supports him and has achieved all he wanted to in his working life (even with booze)so the AA lifestyle suits him. Others NEED the meetings and are happy to make it the priority activity in waking hours.
For me- balance means taking positive risks- proactive actions to get out of my comfort zone. I need to continue to grow- in my recovery, but also outside of 'the rooms'. I talk to others about this- and make choices. If I feel bad or angry or resentful or bored (my sponsor calls those people who say the same thing all the time as sharing 'drunk-a-logues') it means something in me needs addressing- not the group (necessarily).
If I get too comfortable in any activity- meetings or not growing cognitively and emotionally, I will become complacent. Complacency is just one step ahead of relapse. Relapse for me, is not an option- because next time I would stay dead.
Support to you.
I am now the treasurer for a much smaller group- out of the city with a small patronage.
Why blab on? Because for me it is balance. I understand what you mean about AA seeming to be one's entire world. My sponsor is a career AA-er, and loves it. He sponsors, drives hundreds of k's to go to new meetings, guest speaks, plus lots more. He is also retired, has a large family that loves and supports him and has achieved all he wanted to in his working life (even with booze)so the AA lifestyle suits him. Others NEED the meetings and are happy to make it the priority activity in waking hours.
For me- balance means taking positive risks- proactive actions to get out of my comfort zone. I need to continue to grow- in my recovery, but also outside of 'the rooms'. I talk to others about this- and make choices. If I feel bad or angry or resentful or bored (my sponsor calls those people who say the same thing all the time as sharing 'drunk-a-logues') it means something in me needs addressing- not the group (necessarily).
If I get too comfortable in any activity- meetings or not growing cognitively and emotionally, I will become complacent. Complacency is just one step ahead of relapse. Relapse for me, is not an option- because next time I would stay dead.
Support to you.
~sb
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: MD
Posts: 15,960
My sponsor suggested that I commit to a specific number of meetings per week and to keep that commitment, which I have done. I need to know my motives for attending more or less meetings each week. Works for me! (I hit about 2-3 each week; consistently 2 meetings).
Member
Join Date: Oct 2018
Location: Christchurch, NZ
Posts: 517
I think it depends on the individual.
As a married man with 4 young children ... is it a good move to do 90 in 90 and then go to 4-5-6 meetings a week ?
Short answer NO.
If I was single with no dependents ? .... sure, have at it, do as many as I like.
My focus was to make the meetings count. Get to good quality meetings with a focus on the literature and recovery.
Avoid discussion meetings as they tend to end up drowned in drivel like "my cat got sick and the lawnmower wouldn't start, but I had roast pork for dinner so that was nice"
As a married man with 4 young children ... is it a good move to do 90 in 90 and then go to 4-5-6 meetings a week ?
Short answer NO.
If I was single with no dependents ? .... sure, have at it, do as many as I like.
My focus was to make the meetings count. Get to good quality meetings with a focus on the literature and recovery.
Avoid discussion meetings as they tend to end up drowned in drivel like "my cat got sick and the lawnmower wouldn't start, but I had roast pork for dinner so that was nice"
Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Miami, FL
Posts: 1,701
The point of recovery is to improve your life, not to replace it.
As one sponsor said, you need to have good friends outside the program. Otherwise, who are you going to bitch about AA to?
If meetings take you away from other people and things that have meaning for you, then it is too many.
If you feel like you are moving backward in your recovery, then you are going to too few.
How you feel about others with long-term sobriety doing enough or not doing enough does not matter. What do you need? What helps you?
AA is not a place to escape to. It is a place to support people as they plunge deeper into real life.
So what is it that you want to be sober for? What are the things that motivate you to live? What makes you wake up happy? I think these are better questions to focus on then level of meeting attendance and service. Once you know yourself that well, you will be able to figure out AA's place in your life much more easily.
As one sponsor said, you need to have good friends outside the program. Otherwise, who are you going to bitch about AA to?
If meetings take you away from other people and things that have meaning for you, then it is too many.
If you feel like you are moving backward in your recovery, then you are going to too few.
How you feel about others with long-term sobriety doing enough or not doing enough does not matter. What do you need? What helps you?
AA is not a place to escape to. It is a place to support people as they plunge deeper into real life.
So what is it that you want to be sober for? What are the things that motivate you to live? What makes you wake up happy? I think these are better questions to focus on then level of meeting attendance and service. Once you know yourself that well, you will be able to figure out AA's place in your life much more easily.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 2,775
Originally Posted by miamifella
The point of recovery is to improve your life, not to replace it.
As one sponsor said, you need to have good friends outside the program. Otherwise, who are you going to bitch about AA to?
If meetings take you away from other people and things that have meaning for you, then it is too many.
If you feel like you are moving backward in your recovery, then you are going to too few.
How you feel about others with long-term sobriety doing enough or not doing enough does not matter. What do you need? What helps you?
AA is not a place to escape to. It is a place to support people as they plunge deeper into real life.
So what is it that you want to be sober for? What are the things that motivate you to live? What makes you wake up happy? I think these are better questions to focus on then level of meeting attendance and service. Once you know yourself that well, you will be able to figure out AA's place in your life much more easily.
As one sponsor said, you need to have good friends outside the program. Otherwise, who are you going to bitch about AA to?
If meetings take you away from other people and things that have meaning for you, then it is too many.
If you feel like you are moving backward in your recovery, then you are going to too few.
How you feel about others with long-term sobriety doing enough or not doing enough does not matter. What do you need? What helps you?
AA is not a place to escape to. It is a place to support people as they plunge deeper into real life.
So what is it that you want to be sober for? What are the things that motivate you to live? What makes you wake up happy? I think these are better questions to focus on then level of meeting attendance and service. Once you know yourself that well, you will be able to figure out AA's place in your life much more easily.
Well stated.
12-Step Recovered Alkie
Join Date: May 2010
Location: West Bloomfield, MI
Posts: 5,797
Originally Posted by miamifella
If you feel like you are moving backward in your recovery, then you are going to too few.
There have been times were I was definitely "off the beam" but was attending 5 or 6 meetings per week. Alternatively, I've been very connected during a 5 or 6 month time where I attended maybe a total of a half dozen or so meetings in total due to a vicious work schedule resulting from 3 jobs.
I'm very hesitant to suggest to anyone I work with that attending more meetings will do much more than maybe offer some temporary relief - and that's assuming they're strong/solid meetings. In my area anyway, a lot of the meetings are far from what I'd classify as "strong" so showing up at more group therapy gatherings claiming to be AA meetings would be one of the last things I'd suggest.
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