Spiritual Awakening
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Spiritual Awakening
when will this stop this is know pink cloud i was on that 9 years ago my pick has struck gold tomorrow three months from alcohol that's what it's about i don't want to be an addict all everything was untreated alcoholism on June 26 th 2018 I had a Spiritual Awkening so Powerful no i have not done opiates for a year but that easy to quit yes alcoholic torcher depression shattered
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I have no sponsor but when I did I had the best Randy taught the book AA and12/12 Boleo owe Boleo how I have enjoyed AA with you in it yes he's my sponsor no he did not say he would sponsor me he said no but he taught me spent time with me so full of deep profound Truths .It's not that i didn't want a sponsor i just could not find anybody better than Randy and Bob for years they taught me so much dam i miss you two . Yes i beat up Randy he deserved it you don't spread stigma in AA when I'm there or you will have a problem . Owe I had nothing left 25 days in a mental hospital med change quitting benzos not east they where given by a doctor and i did not abuse em and i needed em they served me for over five years to keep me alive. Yes Bob you said i was a lost cause Allah thought different . Bob you said six years ago words that almost cost me my life to have a Spiritual Awakening you said I was having to many of em yes I have The Third Eye that just would not close.It opened back it just won't shut but i have it under control. I could not of made it with out you two. I have been through a lot to the outside world it seems I'm suffering everything looks like I'm suffering these Teachers for they can annihlate anyone any time any where with the book there message I have not had a bad day since I quit drinking not one bad day the best years of my life lye ahead yes I'm indeed my faith is pure to just One God Allah no as I went back to my first full memory at two no I did not write a fourth step I have shared every part of my past .Boleo stopping drinking was not an answer to my problem an end of suffering was.I don't owe anybody amends for anything all family friends loved me when I was drinking but they just did not know I saw nothing in myself I love myself I forgive myself .Randy there is promises in each and every step over 300 promises boil down to the three things peace of mind joy and sense of purpose yes I surely have those three I'm free indeed . Free at last free at last thank God Almighty I'm Free At Last
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Originally Posted by Seren 
Hi max! Congratulations on three months! That's great news 
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I'm still disabled in pain yes the doctors disabled me I'm still a lot of things but I'm happy joyous and free what often takes place in a few short months. It took more action and effort then the first time it took me an effort i never dreamed i had in me with all the desperation of a drowning man I went out like a bat out of ell Blatently honest yes if you have a grave emotional mental disorder Honest you have to be.
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Now today i will relax and take it easy but for almost three months i came out like a bat out of hell no time to relax and take it easy when you have amends to make it's finish a promise I have finally gotten restored to sanity owe it's been a dream today is the day
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yes Allah three months owe I can't wait until tomorrow it's a Miracle i see Miracles in every AA meeting I'm still overwhelmed my life was in the gutter yes my pick struck gold and i'll mine it for life I have a shot to someday at the American dream just one life all i have
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see I actually believe in the book AA and the 12/12 what often takes place in a few short months you want to be an addict i don't care to hear about drugs I take medication never belittle a good doctor or psychiatrist I had one from Harvard the best in a problem it says those with grave emotional and mental disorders to recover if they have the capacity to be honest something I lacked yes 25 days in a mental hospital I surely was did my fourth step on face book every delusion every paranoid thought about everything came gushing out it had to 40 years old they told me I had to put myself first how to do it I have not found out and I'm still trying to do it but I refusing to place God first he lacked the help that he needed rehab says put recovery first there wrong God first what else does rehab lie about the first step past tense one you admit your powerless over alcohol and your life has become unmanagble your done with it never have to go have to go threw it again that's what the 12/12 says
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I'm just Spiritual I fit in with people that have suffered. Alcoholics suffer even when things that the average American male thinks good happened in my life I felt like something was missing.I found out what it was peace of mind joy and a sense of purpose for surely I did not possess those except they brief moments in my life. To possess those everyday if I chose to be loving and caring to people .
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