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bluidkiti
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October 18

Daily Reflections

AN OPEN MIND

True humility and an open mind can lead us to faith . . .
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 33

My alcoholic thinking led me to believe that I could control my drinking, but I couldn't.
When I came to A.A., I realized that God was speaking to me through my group. My mind
was open just enough to know that I needed His help. A real, honest acceptance of A.A.
took more time, but with it came humility. I know how insane I was, and I am extremely grateful
to have my sanity restored to me and to be a sober alcoholic. The new, sober me is a much
better person than I ever could have been without A.A.

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Twenty-Four Hours A Day

A.A. Thought For The Day

Have I got over most of my sensitiveness, my feelings which are too easily hurt, and my
just plain laziness and self-satisfaction? Am I willing to go all out for A.A. at no matter what
cost to my precious self? Is my own comfort more important to me than doing the things
that need to be done? Have I got to the point where what happens to me is not so
important? Can I face up to things that are embarrassing or uncomfortable if they are
the right things to do for the good of A.A.? Have I given A.A. just a small piece of myself?
Am I willing to give all of myself whenever necessary?

Meditation For The Day

Not until you have failed can you learn true humility. Humility arises from a deep sense of
gratitude to God for giving you the strength to rise above past failures. Humility is not
inconsistent with self-respect. The true person has self-respect and the respect of others
and yet is humble. The humble person is tolerant of other's failings, and does not have a
critical attitude toward the foibles of others. Humble people are hard on themselves and
easy on others.

Prayer For The Day

I pray that I may be truly humble and yet have self-respect. I pray that I may see the good
in myself as well as the bad.

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As Bill Sees It

WHEN CONFLICTS MOUNT, p. 289

Sometimes I would be forced to look at situations where I was
doing badly. Right away, the search for excuses would become
frantic.

"These," I would exclaim, "are really a good man's faults." When
that pet gadget broke apart, I would think, "Well, if those people
would only treat me right, I wouldn't have to behave the way I
do." Next was this: "God well knows that I do have awful
compulsions. I just can't get over this one. So He will have to
release me." At last came the time when I would shout, "This, I
positively will not do! I won't even try."

Of course, my conflicts went right on mounting, because I was
simply loaded with excuses, refusals, and outright rebellion.

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Walk In Dry Places

Those who want it, Not those who need it.
Honest Desire
In the first bloom of sobriety, many recovering people confront drinking companions who also "need" the program. They're often surprised and disillusion when efforts to help their friends are rejected... sometimes curtly.
We're truly limited to helping those who desire recovery, not those who we think need it. Though intervention methods can be effective, we're still largely helpless to assist those who don't desire recovery.
We regret that we really have no answers for the millions who perish from alcoholism, unaware of their problem. We also can hold out little hope that any future recovery attempts will succeed without the individual alcoholic's cooperation.
Desire..... a personal determination and decision.... is necessary for almost any kind of change. We have the freedom to choose in many areas of our lives, and alcoholics must eventually choose recovery in order to find and maintain it.
Though I'd love to see others recover, I must accept the fact that their personal desire and choice is necessary. I'll remember this if any opportunities arise today to carry the message.

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Keep It Simple

When people bother you in any way, it is because their souls are trying to get your divine attention and your blessing.
--Catherine Ponder
We are in constant communication with one another and with God in the spiritual realm. No matter how singular our particular course may appear, our path is running parallel to many paths. And all paths will intersect when the need is present. The point of intersection is the moment when another soul seeks our attention. We can be attentive and loving to the people seeking our attention. Their growth and ours is at stake,
We can be grateful for our involvement with other lives. We can be mindful that our particular blessing is like no one else's and that we all need input from the many significant persons in our lives. There is no insignificant encounter in our passage through life. Each juncture with someone else is part of the destiny of both participants.
I will look carefully and lovingly at the people around me today and bless them, one and all. They are in my life because they need to be. I, likewise, need them.

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Each Day a New Beginning

Pride, we are told, my children, "goeth before a fall" and oh, the pride was there, and so the fall was not far away. --Wilhelmina Kemp Johnstone
Requesting help. Admitting we are wrong. Owning our mistake in either a big or small matter. Asking for another chance or someone's love. All very difficult to do, and yet necessary if we are to grow. The difficulty is our pride, the big ego. We think, "We need to always be right. If we're wrong, then others may think less of us, look down on us, and question our worth." Perfectionism versus worthlessness.
If we are not perfect (and of course we never are), then we must be worthless. In between these two points on the scale is "being human." Our emotional growth, as women, is equal to how readily we accept our humanness, how able we are to be wrong. With humility comes a softness that smoothes our every experience, our every relationship. Pride makes us hard, keeps us hard, keeps others away, and sets us up for the fall.
I will let myself be human today. It will soften my vision of life.

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Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition

BILL'S STORY

He had come to pass his experience along to me---if I cared to have it. I was shocked, but interested. Certainly I was interested. I had to be, for I was hopeless.

pp. 9-10

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Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories

Alcoholic Anonymous Number Three

Pioneer member of Akron's Group No. 1, the first A.A. group in the world. He kept the faith; therefore, he and countless others found a new life.

I remember telling them too that it was going to be awfully tough, because I did some other things, smoked cigarettes and played penny ante poker, sometimes bet on the horse races and they said, "Don't you think you're having more trouble with this drinking than with anything else at the present time? Don't you believe you are going to have all you can do to get rid of that?" I said, "Yes," reluctantly, "I probably will." They said, "Let's forget about those other things, that is, trying to eliminate them all at once, and concentrate on the drink." Of course, we had talked over quite a number of failings that I had and made a sort of an inventory, which wasn't to difficult, because I had an awful lot of things wrong that were very apparent to me, because I knew all about them. Then they said, "There is one more thing. You should go out and take this program to somebody else that needs it and wants it."

p. 190

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Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions

Step Seven - "Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings."

The chief activator of our defects has been self-centered fear--primarily fear that we would lose something we already possessed or would fail to get something we demanded. Living upon a basis of unsatisfied demands, we were in a state of continual disturbance and frustration. Therefore, no peace was to be had unless we could find a means of reducing these demands. The difference between a demand and a simple request is plain to anyone.

p. 76

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"To make mistakes is human; to stumble is commonplace; to be able to laugh at
yourself is maturity."
--William A. Ward

To remain young while growing old is the highest blessing.
--German Proverb

"Make rest a necessity, not an objective."
--Jim Rohn

"Action may not always bring happiness; but there is no happiness without action."
--Benjamin Disraeli

"The past is a guidepost, not a hitching post."
--L. Thomas Holdcroft

"Once you say you are going to settle for second, that's what happens to you."
--John F. Kennedy

Friends are the sunshine of life.
--John Hay

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Father Leo's Daily Meditation

WORSHIP

"Our concern is not how to
worship in the catacombs but
how to remain human in the
skyscrapers."
-- Abraham Heschel

Worship requires the discovery of "true worth" in my own life. True worship is not only
historical and traditional but also contemporary. I need to discover not only the God of
yesterday, but also the God of the modern city.

My past addiction to fantasy often made me place God in an unreal world. I was happy
talking about the Jews, Roman and Philistines but I missed God in Las Vegas, on
freeways and in local politics.

God is alive in His world, and it is tragic to make Him a prisoner of history.

Let me find You in the place where I live.

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He stilled the storm to a whisper; the waves of the sea were hushed.
They were glad when it grew calm and He guided them to their desired haven.
Psalm 107:29-30

"You shall not be afraid of the terror by night, Nor of the arrow that flies by day, Nor of
the pestilence that walks in darkness, Nor of the destruction that lays waste at noonday."
Psalm 91:5-6

"Don't copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new
person by changing the way you think. Then you will know what God wants you to do,
and you will know how good and pleasing and perfect His will really is."
Romans 12:2

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Daily Inspiration

It is hard to be upset with yourself when you are being nice to someone else. Lord, bless me with a giving spirit be I know that all I give comes back to shine on me in many different ways.

With our blessings come responsibilities. Much is required of those to whom much has been given. Lord, may I use my blessings to be a blessing to others.

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NA Just For Today

We All Belong

"Although 'politics makes strange bedfellows,' as the old saying goes, addiction makes us one of a kind."

Basic Text, p.84

What a mixture of folks we have in Narcotics Anonymous! In any given meeting on any given night, we'll find a variety of people that probably never would have sat down in a room together if it weren't for the disease of addiction.

A member who is a physician described his unwillingness to identify at his first meeting by refusing to go into "that room full of junkies." Another member with an extensive background in jails and institutions shared a similar story, except that her shock and surprise stemmed from the realization that "there were nice people there - wearing suits, yet!" These two friends recently celebrated their seventh wedding anniversary.

The most unlikely people form friendships, sponsor each other, and do service work together. We meet in the rooms of recovery together, sharing the bonds of past suffering and hope for the future. We meet on mutual ground with our focus on the two things we all have in common - addiction and recovery.

Just for today: No matter what my personal circumstances, I belong.

pg. 304

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You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
One will rarely err if extreme actions be ascribed to vanity, ordinary actions to habit, and mean actions to fear. --Friedrich Nietzsche
Sometimes we begin to believe someone close to us is being mean deliberately. This may happen when a good friend suddenly stops inviting us to her house. She may be scared to have others over because her parents are having problems, or for some other reason that has nothing to do with us.
But we often fear that it is because of something we said or did. We find ourselves becoming scared and pulling away. If we ask for God's help in turning our fear around, we can overcome it and ask our friend why she stopped inviting us over. Most times we will find that our friend had no idea her actions affected us the way they did. We can then laugh at ourselves for our fears and applaud ourselves for overcoming them.
What treasure might I find beneath my fear today?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
Thou art everywhere, but I worship you here;
Thou art without form, but I worship you in these forms;
Thou neediest no praise, yet I offer you these prayers and salutations.
--Hindu prayer
The history of the Twelve Steps tells us that in the first small A.A. group there was controversy about the word God. For some of the men, God was known in traditional religious ways; other members were agnostic. This first group followed their group conscience. The resolution they achieved has inspired many new Twelve Step members ever since. They were guided through their disagreement to a new expression of their spiritual relationship. They began to speak of a "Power greater than ourselves" and of "God, as we understood Him."
Today we turn to God as we understand God, because our definitions are restricted by human limitations. We know from our own experiences and from the stories of thousands of men and women who have preceded us, that this spiritual program is very practical and simple. It works. It restores our lives.
To a Power greater than myself, I am filled with gratitude.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
When people bother you in any way, it is because their souls are trying to get your divine attention and your blessing.
--Catherine Ponder
We are in constant communication with one another and with God in the spiritual realm. No matter how singular our particular course may appear, our path is running parallel to many paths. And all paths will intersect when the need is present. The point of intersection is the moment when another soul seeks our attention. We can be attentive and loving to the people seeking our attention. Their growth and ours is at stake,
We can be grateful for our involvement with other lives. We can be mindful that our particular blessing is like no one else's and that we all need input from the many significant persons in our lives. There is no insignificant encounter in our passage through life. Each juncture with someone else is part of the destiny of both participants.
I will look carefully and lovingly at the people around me today and bless them, one and all. They are in my life because they need to be. I, likewise, need them.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Throwing Out the Rule Book
Many of us feel like we need a rulebook, a microscope, and a warranty to get through life. We feel uncertain, frightened. We want the security of knowing what's going to happen, and how we shall act.
We don't trust life or ourselves.
We don't trust the Plan.
We want to be in control.
"I've made terrible mistakes about my choices, mistakes that nearly destroyed me. Life has really shocked me. How can I trust myself? How can I trust life, and my instincts, after where I've been?" asked one woman.
It is understandable that we fear being crushed again, considering the way many of us were when we bottomed out on our codependency. We don't have to be fearful. We can trust our self, our path, and our instincts.
Yes, we want to avoid making the same mistakes again. We are not the same people we were yesterday or last year. We've learned, grown, changed. We did what we needed to do then. If we made a mistake, we cannot let that stop us from living and fully experiencing today.
We have arrived at the understanding that we needed our experiences - even our mistakes - to get to where we are today. Do we know that we needed our life to unfold exactly as it did to find ourselves, our Higher Power, and this new way of life? Or is part of us still calling our past a mistake?
We can let go of our past and trust ourselves now. We do not have to punish ourselves with our past. We don't need a rulebook, a microscope, a warranty. All we really need is a mirror. We can look into the mirror and say, "I trust you. No matter what happens, you can take care of yourself. And what happens will continue to be good, better than you think."
Today, I will stop clinging to the painful lessons of the past. I will open myself to the positive lessons today and tomorrow hold for me. I trust that I can and will take care of myself now. I trust that the Plan is good, even when I don't know what it is.


Today I will be aware not to judge myself when I feel less than perfect. I am beginning to love myself just as I am and that feels so nice. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey To The Heart
October 18
Trust the Morning

I arrived in Sedona late at night, after ten o’clock. Motel offices were closed everywhere I went. The signs flashed “No Vacancy.” I hung around the convenience store for a while, trying to figure out what to do, having second thoughts about spontaneity and trusting the universe. I regretted not having an itinerary. I was too tired to drive much longer. I no longer cared if my journey was magical; it was back to basics. I wanted to sleep in a bed that night.

I bought the local paper and spotted an ad for a lodge. I called the number, but no luck. I got in my car, wondering what to do.

On the edge of town, I saw a motel with lights in the office and a person behind the desk. I went inside and pestered the girl behind the desk for help. She finally relented, telling me of a little known hotel about an hour away. She lived close by, she said. I could follow her there. An hour later, I gratefully checked into a room. I couldn’t find the heat, but I did have a bed, pillow, and blanket.

The next morning, I discovered I was staying on the edge of a dry, dusty golf course. The area was surrounded by low, barren hills barely covered with shrubs. I headed the car to Sedona, still tired, still wondering why I was there.

My car rounded a curve. Suddenly I was surrounded by spiraling red mesas shaped by nature into forms of bells, cathedrals, and carved towers reaching to the sky. The sunlight danced on the rusty red sculptures, lighting them with an orange-yellow glow. I smiled at the breathtaking view, grateful the experience had unfolded as it had.

Sometimes, the darkness and loneliness of night make the color and beauty of the sunrise and the new day all that much more beautiful. Contrast is an important part of creativity. Our Creator knows that. So does our heart.

Things look different in the morning. Trust that the morning will come.

*****

more language of letting go
Take another look

It's amazing the difference
A bit of sky can make.
--Shel Silverstein

We spend morning at the Blue Sky Lodge drinking coffee on the back porch watching the world wake up. One morning, after grabbing my cup, I walked out back to find Frank, a skydiving friend staying at the Lodge while visiting from the United Kingdom, busliy snapping pictures of the surrounding terrain.

"Frank, why are you taking pictures of this?" I asked. "If you want, we can take you to some of the more scenic areas around here."

"No way," he replied. "No one back home will believe that I got to spend my time in a place with a view like this."

I looked around and tried to see the view through his eyes. The rolling hills of southern California were bathed in golden early morning sunlight, while a light marine layer curled over the ridgeline of the Ortega Mountains just three miles to the west. San Jacinto rose high in the eastern sky, a pale silhouette in the morning sun.

I smiled and for the first time in a while took in the sheer beauty of the view. Lately all I had been seeing were the piles of leaves and construction materials scattered around the yard or the cars driving along the road in the valley below us. I had been surrounded with beauty and yet had grown so accustomed to it that I didn't even notice it anymore.

Many times what we need isn't a change of scenery, but a renewed vision of what's already there. Take another look at your life-- where you live, your friends, your work-- all your gifts. Maybe the view in your life is better than you think.

God, renew my spirit. Help me look at my life with a fresh vision. If I don't like what I see, help me look again.

*****

Complementary Energies
Balancing Self with Family Life by Madisyn Taylor

It is vital to the energy of your spirit and the energy of your family unit that you take time for yourself each day to balance and center.

Many of us have a hard time balancing taking care of ourselves with taking care of our family responsibilities. For people with young children, this can be especially challenging, but even people without children have obligations to care for extended family, partners, pets, and the home in which they live. It’s easy to lose track of our own needs as we give ourselves to the people, pets, and places we love. However, it is essential to their well-being that we take care of ourselves, filling our own wells with water so that we have something to offer when we return home each day.

It is easy to get caught up in the demands of home life because they never stop. There is always one more thing you can do, another dish in the sink, a counter that needs wiping, or a person who needs a ride somewhere. If you don’t set some boundaries, you will find yourself on an endless journey of housework and doing for others. Eventually, you will probably feel drained and out of touch with your inner life force. Instead of waiting for this to happen, integrate self-care into your daily schedule. Even Buddha insisted that he have one hour completely to himself every day. There are times when even that will not be possible—for example, with a new baby or a sick relative. At times like this, retreating inward energetically can be a lifesaver. You can always find five minutes to close your eyes and breathe consciously. You may even be able to meditate.

Most of the time, though, it is possible to set aside a full hour for yourself each day. In addition, scheduling a longer interval of time, perhaps on a weekly basis, can really help to restore your energy. Get a massage or go to a movie or out with a friend. Taking time to experience the world outside of your home makes returning home all the more wonderful. In the same way, taking care of yourself is a natural complement to taking care of your home and family. Published with permission from Daily OM

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