Dave42001

October 6

AA ‘Big Book’ – Quote

More than most people, the alcoholic leads a double life. He is very much the actor. To the outer world he presents his stage character. This is the one he likes his fellows to see. He wants to enjoy a certain reputation, but knows in his heart he doesn’t deserve it. – Pg. 73 – Into Action

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Hour To Hour – Book – Quote

Right now, you are getting rid of the toxic things in your life: toxic substances, toxic people, toxic behavior patterns and toxic thoughts. The only way to do this is to look, listen, and imitate those that have already done it. Slowly it becomes real for you, too.

I know that I cannot find this new path alone. Let me accept the guidance of those that have gone before me.

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My Reservoir of Peace

There is nothing in my day that is more important than my serenity. It is my responsibility to maintain and attend to it. Whatever I do in the world, my serenity comes first. I owe it to no one. I will pay attention today to the myriad of ways in which I am thrown off balance and I will take a moment to center myself, to breathe, to remember that when I can calm my body, mind and spirit, I interact differently the people, places and things of my day. I will work daily to build my serenity muscles so that I stay strong and flexible. Serenity isn’t something that I can just grab and have. I need to nourish it through quiet and reflection and come back to it what I lose it. My serenity is mine to look after. I give myself the gift of my own serenity today and every day.

– Tian Dayton PhD

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Pocket Sponsor – Book – Quote

‘The choice is up to you. It can either be ‘Good morning, God!’ or ‘Good God, morn-ing.’ ~Dr. Wayne Dryer, Everyday Wisdom
Choice, not chance, determines my day.

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“Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book” – Book

Take the program seriously, not yourself.

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Time for Joy – Book – Quote

I no longer decide what I should feel. That is very limiting.

If I limit my negative feelings, I limit my positive feelings as well.

Today I am opening myself to all my feelings. That gives me great joy.

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Alkiespeak – Book – Quote

I heard this guy sharing and he said : ‘I ended up drinking wine, alone, in an alley.’ I started out drinking wine, alone, in an alley. – Danny T.

October 6

Daily Reflections

FACING OURSELVES

. . . . and Fear says, "You dare not look!"
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 49

How often I avoided a task in my drinking days,
just because it appeared so large! Is it any wonder
even if I have been sober for some time, that I will
act that same way when faced with what appears to be
a monumental job, such as a searching and fearless
moral inventory of myself? What I discover after I
have arrived at the other side--when my inventory is
completed--is that the illusion was greater than the
reality. The fear of facing myself kept me at a
standstill and, until I became willing to put pencil
to paper, I was arresting my growth based on an
intangible.

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Twenty-Four Hours A Day

A.A. Thought For The Day

Is it my desire to be a big shot in A.A.? Do I always
want to be up front in the limelight? Do I feel that
nobody else can do as good a job as I can? Or am I
willing to take a seat in the back row once in a while
and let somebody else carry the ball? Part of the
effectiveness of any A.A. group is the development of
new members to carry on, to take over, from the older
members. Am I reluctant to give up authority? Do I try
to carry the load for the whole group? If so, I am not
being fair to the newer members. Do I realize that no
one person is essential? Do I know that A.A. could
carry on without me, if it had to?

Meditation For The Day

The Unseen God can help to make us truly grateful and
humble. Since we cannot see God, we must believe in Him
without seeing. What we can see clearly is the change in
a human being, when he sincerely asks God for the strength
to change. We should cling to faith in God and in His power
to change our faith in God and in His power to change our
ways. Our faith in all Unseen God will be rewarded by a
useful and serviceable life. God will not fail to show us
the way we should live. When in real gratitude and true
humility we turn to Him..

Prayer For The Day

I pray that I may believe that God can change me.
I pray that I may be always willing to be changed
for the better.

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As Bill Sees It

To Lighten Our Burden, p.277

Only one consideration should qualify our desire for a complete
disclosure of the damage we have done. That will arise where a
full revelation would seriously harm the one to whom we are
making amends. Or--quite as important--other people. We
cannot, for example, unload a detailed account of extramarital
adventuring upon the shoulders of our unsuspecting wife or husband.

It does not lighten our burden when we recklessly make the crosses
of others heavy.

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In making amends, we should be sensible, tactful, considerate, and
humble without being servile or scraping. As God's people, we stand
on our feet; we don't crawl before anyone.

1. 12 & 12, p.86
2. Alcoholics Anonymous, p.83

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Walk In Dry Places

By Their fruits
Inventory.
An old saying reminds us that the value of any spiritual effort can be measured
by how well it work: "A good tree is known by its fruits."
By that standard, the 12 Step movement fares very well. Its life-changing work
has won consistent praise and has had continuous success ever since it became
known to the public.
We can apply that same statement to new ideas as they appear in our lives. If
somebody has suggestions or advice, we might ask how well such ideas are working
out for them. We would not take investment advice, for example, from someone
who had repeatedly lost money.
We should always be wary of ideas that go counter to the basic principles of our
program. some people may invite us to share their resentments, for example, but we
have no obligation to do so. We will be even less inclined to do so when we look at
the results they're getting from their resentments, Evaluating ideas "by their fruits"
is a good test.
I'll be careful to look at all the facts in connection with any idea presented today.
I have a right to judge everything by results.

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Keep It Simple

If you do not tell the truth about yourself, you cannot tell it about other people.
---Virginia Woolf
Working the Twelve Steps helps us learn the truth. As we struggle with Step Four,
we learn the truth about ourselves. We learn even more about ourselves by doing
Steps Eight and Ten. When we admit the truth about ourselves, things come into
focus. Big changes happen.
As a result, we can see other people more clearly. We see bad sides in people we
thought were prefect. We see good sides in people we hated. We start to know that
everyone has to work hard to find what’s right for them. No one knows all the answers.
In short, we begin to trust others also who also are looking for the truth.
Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me clearly see myself and others.
Action for the Day: Today, I’ll think about how doing Step Ten keeps me clear
about what’s going on in my life.

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Each Day a New Beginning

Many people are living in an emotional jail without recognizing it. --Virginia Satir
Each of us is blessed with an internal guide, a source able to direct our actions if we
but acknowledge it. Never are we in doubt for long about what path to take. The
courage to take it might not be immediately forthcoming; however, it, too, is one
of the gifts with which we've been blessed. Courage is ours for the asking. Right
direction is ours for the taking.
Trusting our inner selves takes practice, followed by attention to the results of our risks.
Before recovery, many of us passively waited for others to orchestrate our behavior,
our feelings, and our attitudes. Stepping forward as the leading lady, with our own script
in hand is quite a change, but one we are being coached, daily, to make.
The Steps help us to know who we are. More importantly, they help us become the women
we long to be. But most important, they offer us the spiritual strength to risk listening to
the message within and the strength to go forth as directed.
Right results, again and again, are elicited by right action. And my knowledge of the right
action is always, and forever, as close as myself.

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Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition

BILL'S STORY

Renewing my resolve, I tried again. Some time passed, and confidence began to be replaced by cocksureness. I could laugh at the gin mills. Now I had what it takes! One day I walked into a cafe to telephone. In no time I was beating on the bar asking myself how it happened. As the whisky rose to my head I told myself I would manage better next time, but I might as well get good and drunk then. And I did.

pp. 5-6

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Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition - Stories

Alcoholic Anonymous Number Three

Pioneer member of Akron's Group No. 1, the first A.A. group in the world. He kept the faith; therefore, he and countless others found a new life.

On June 26, 1935, I came to in the hospital and to say I was discouraged is to put it mildly. Each of the seven times that I had left this hospital in the last six months, I had come out fully determined in my own mind that I would not get drunk again—for at least six or eight months. It hadn't worked out that way and I didn't know what the matter was and did not know what to do.

p. 184

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Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions

Step Seven - "Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings."

True, most of us thought good character was desirable, but obviously good character was something one needed to get on with the business of being self-satisfied. With a proper display of honesty and morality, we'd stand a better chance of getting what we really wanted. But whenever we had to choose between character and comfort, the character-building was lost in the dust of our chase after what we thought was happiness. Seldom did we look at character-building as something desirable in itself, something we would like to strive for whether our instinctual needs were met or not. We never thought of making honesty, tolerance, and true love of man and God the daily basis of living.

pp. 71-72

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I have held many things in my hands and have lost them all, but whatever I placed in
God's hands I still possess.
--GGDNER

Love begins at home, and it is not how much we do...
but how much love we put in that action.
--Mother Teresa

Live your life and forget your age.
--Norman Vincent Peale

In a world that is constantly changing, there is no one subject or set of
subjects that will serve you for the foreseeable future, let alone for the
rest of your life. The most important skill to acquire now is learning how to learn.
--John Naisbitt

"In helping others, we shall help ourselves, for whatever good we give out completes
the circle and comes back to us."
--Flora Edwards

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Father Leo's Daily Meditation

FORGIVENESS

"Forgiveness is the key to action
and freedom."
-- Hannah Arendt

Early in sobriety I found it easy to forgive others but hard to forgive myself. This kept me
sick and negative, even in recovery, because I was unable to practice self-love. I still
blamed me and felt responsible for being alcoholic. I had not surrendered to the reality of
alcoholism as a disease.

Then a moment of sanity was granted me whereby I understood that I was not responsible
for being alcoholic, but that I am responsible for my recovery. And my recovery involves
a love and respect of self. This knowledge brought a tremendous joy and freedom that led
to action within the recovering community. Only by loving me will I be able to
love you, and in both these ways I show my love of God.

May I always hold on to the spiritual power of forgiveness.

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"Cast all your anxiety on him, because he cares for you."
1 Peter 5:7

Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path. I have taken an oath and
confirmed it, that I will follow your righteous laws. I have suffered much; preserve
my life, O LORD, according to your word. Accept, O LORD, the willing praise of my
mouth, and teach me your laws. Though I constantly take my life in my hands, I will
not forget your law. The wicked have set a snare for me, but I have not strayed from
your precepts. Your statutes are my heritage forever; they are the joy of my heart.
My heart is set on keeping your decrees to the very end.
Psalm 119:105-112

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Daily Inspiration

Be aware of the blessings of friendship and know that to have a friend you must be
one in return. Lord, help me to be able to smile, to share, to listen and to be available
when I am needed.

God's promises are not for those who walk through life with no obstacles, but for those
who overcome their obstacles. Lord, I pray, not to overpower others, but to overcome
my own weaknesses and strengthen my trust in You.

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NA Just For Today

Amends Without Expectations

"Projections about actually making amends can be a major obstacle both in making the list and in becoming willing." Basic Text p.38

The Eighth Step asks us to become willing to make amends to all persons we have harmed. As we approach this step, we may wonder what the outcome of our amends will be. Will we be forgiven? Relieved of any lingering guilt? Or will we be tarred and feathered by the persons we've harmed?

Our tendency to seek forgiveness must be surrendered if we expect to receive the spiritual benefits of the Eighth and Ninth Steps. If we approach these steps expecting anything, we're likely to be very disappointed with the results. We want to ask ourselves if we are pinning our hopes on gaining the forgiveness of the person to whom we are making amends. Or maybe we're hoping we'll be excused from our debts by some sympathetic creditor moved to tears by our hard-luck story.

We need to be willing to make our amends regardless of the outcome. We can plan the amends, but we can't plan the results. Although we may not be granted a full pardon by everyone to whom we owe amends, we will learn to forgive ourselves. In the process, we will find that we no longer have to carry the burdens of the past.

Just for today: I will let go of any expectations I have on the people to whom I owe amends.

pg. 292

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You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
What we do upon some great occasion will probably depend on what we already are: and what we already are will be the result of previous years of self-discipline. --H. P. Viddon
In the ninth inning of the baseball game with a tie score and the bases loaded, the batter hit a home run. The fans and the team cheered wildly, and the batter was jubilant.
What many fans did not know was that he had been playing on baseball teams for fifteen years. Many times he struggled without being noticed. He wondered if he was any good or not, and there were days he had to make himself go out and practice. He made many mistakes, but his love and dedication for the game had always won out.
It is the years of discipline that prepare us for our big moments in life. Daily practice and love give our lives a direction, even through times of doubt and despair. By doing our best each day and learning from our mistakes, we prepare ourselves for the big moments--the home runs--in our lives.
How are my mistakes and pains today a part of my future success?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
Forgiveness is another word for letting go. --Matthew Fox
Learning forgiveness - both granting it to others and accepting it for ourselves - is one of the primary means of a man's spiritual recovery. Many of us, after entering this program, are plagued with strong feelings of guilt. We have finally become accountable, and we see our lives in a new perspective. We long for a chance to undo our mistakes. Many men carry guilt for years as if they deserved to be punished. Our recovery program tells us to let go.
Simply going through the motions of forgiving or accepting forgiveness will not get us very far. We must squarely face our feelings and tell someone so we are no longer alone with our guilt. Then, if there is the possibility for repair without further hurt, we must make repair. In this concrete way we can be genuinely forgiven and fully accept forgiveness. When a man has a spiritual experience like this, he matures and gains the ability to forgive others.
I am grateful for the relief of being forgiven and letting go of past mistakes. I will genuinely let go of my guilt and resentment.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
Many people are living in an emotional jail without recognizing it. --Virginia Satir
Each of us is blessed with an internal guide, a source able to direct our actions if we but acknowledge it. Never are we in doubt for long about what path to take. The courage to take it might not be immediately forthcoming; however, it, too, is one of the gifts with which we've been blessed. Courage is ours for the asking. Right direction is ours for the taking.
Trusting our inner selves takes practice, followed by attention to the results of our risks. Before recovery, many of us passively waited for others to orchestrate our behavior, our feelings, and our attitudes. Stepping forward as the leading lady, with our own script in hand is quite a change, but one we are being coached, daily, to make.
The Steps help us to know who we are. More importantly, they help us become the women we long to be. But most important, they offer us the spiritual strength to risk listening to the message within and the strength to go forth as directed.
Right results, again and again, are elicited by right action. And my knowledge of the right action is always, and forever, as close as myself.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Taking Care of Ourselves
It's healthy, wise, and loving to be considerate and responsive to the feelings and needs of others. That's different from caretaking. Caretaking is a self defeating and, certainly, a relationship defeating behavior - a behavior that backfires and can cause us to feel resentful and victimized - because ultimately, what we feel, want, and need will come to the surface.
Some people seem to invite emotional caretaking. We can learn to refuse the invitation. We can be concerned; we can be loving, when possible; but we can place value on our own needs and feelings too. Part of recovery means learning to pay attention to, and place importance on, what we feel, want, and need, because we begin to see that there are clear, predictable, and usually undesirable consequences when we don't.
Be patient and gentle with yourself as you learn to do this. Be understanding with yourself when you slip back into the old behavior of emotional caretaking and self-neglect.
But stop the cycle today. We do not have to feel responsible for others. We do not have to feel guilty about not feeling responsible for others. We can even learn to let ourselves feel good about taking responsibility for our needs and feelings.
Today, I will evaluate whether I've slipped into my old behavior of taking responsibility for another's feelings and needs, while neglecting my own. I will own my power, right, and responsibility to place value on myself.


Today I am doing everything that I can to totally accept me as I am. Today I am doing everything that I can to totally accept you as you are. I am free to have an honest relationship with me and you today. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey To The Heart
October 6
What Are Your Priorities?

I was working away in my cabin, trying to print out the pages I had typed into my computer. It was taking half an hour to print each page. I had one hundred pages to go. For the umpteenth time I checked my computer, checked the program, checked the printer, checked everything I knew to see why it was printing so slowly. It all seemed to be set up properly. Then I accidentally touched a control setting, one I hadn’t noticed before. It was my priority control. It was set on low. I switched it to high priority. The pages now began to print at top speed.

Priorities are important. Learning how to focus our energy according to priorities– even though we’re going with the flow– is an important part of our lives. It’s one of the powers we’re learning.

What are your priorities? Is living from your heart one of them? Are there tasks you’d like to accomplish? Skills you’d like to acquire? Is meditation being centered, and living your life from a place of balance an area you’ve designated as critical?

Is loving yourself a priority? How important is your spiritual growth? What priority have you assigned to other areas like pleasure, having fun, feeling joy? Are your priorities set on high, medium,or low?

Look around and you’ll see your answers. Your life as it is now reflects the priorities you have chosen so far. If something is happening too slowly, try switching your priority setting from low to high.

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more language of letting go
See it simple

"It's too much," I said to my instructor. "Jumping out of a plane is too much for my mind to comprehend."

"Then keep it simple," he said. "Break it down into parts. You have the ride up, where you practice relaxing, your exit, your free-fall time; then you deploy your parachute. Then you decide if it's working or if you need to go to plan B. Next set up your landing pattern. When you get near the ground, pull your strings and flare."

I could handle the steps, but the big picture of jumping out of an airplane was too much to envision. But exiting, falling stable, pulling, and flaring were simple parts that felt manageable. My mind could comprehend these simple tasks.

You may never make a skydive. Or maybe you will. But there's a lot of things in life that seem like too much if we try to see them all as one big thing. I never thought I could stay sober and drug-free for twenty-seven years. But with God's help and the help of the program, I believed I could refrain from using drugs and alcohol for twenty-four hours. Then the nexr day, I got up and believed the same thing again.

There have been times I didn't think I could start my life over. But I could get up in the morning and do the things I thought best for that day.

Are you facing something now in your life that feels too overwhelming? Then simplify it. Break it down into manageable parts until you can see how simple it is.

God, I'm complicating a task or making it too big and unmanageable in my mind, help me to simplify what I see.

*****

In All Kinds Of Weather
Being Happy For Friends

When we are close friends with someone, we intuitively know when they need a hug, a helping hand, or a sympathetic ear. Likewise, when we are going through bleak periods in our lives, we count on friends to support us through loss, illness, and other setbacks, both big and small. And while part of being a good friend means being there when the other person needs us, it is just as important to be there for our friends so we can share in their joyous celebrations and triumphs.

After all, who else would our friends want to celebrate their promotions, graduations, marriages, and good news with than their loved ones and good friends. Yet depending on what is happening in our lives, it can sometimes be difficult to be there for our friends during the good times. We can become so busy with our own lives that we forget to make time. Or, we may be so focused on our own problems that we may not feel like celebrating with our friends. We may even take their joyful moments for granted, assuming that as long as we’re there for our friends during the bad times that we are doing our jobs. Yet part of being a true friend means also being there during the good times. Success and happiness can feel empty without someone to share them with, and who better to join in our victory dances than our good friends.

Taking the time from our busy lives to honor our friends’ happy moments is a wonderful way to show them that they matter. And in many ways, by wanting you around during their happy occasions, your friends are also honoring you. After all, it is the people we cherish that we want around us to sing at our birthdays, visit our newborn babies, and pop open that bottle of champagne with when we reach a milestone moment. The next time a friend wants you to be there to celebrate with them, remember to feel honored that they thought of asking you. Together, you can celebrate their happiness and your rich friendship.

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

As we “keep coming back” to meetings, we’re able to recognize those people who have an abundance of serenity. We are drawn to such people. to our surprise, we sometimes find that those who seem most grateeful for today’s blessings are the very ones who have the most serious and continuing problems at home or at work. Yet they have the courage to turn away from such problems, actively seeking to learn and hel others in The Program. How hav ethey gotten this serenity? It must be because they depend less on themselves and their own limited resources — and more on a Power greater than themselves in whom they have confidence. Am I acquiring the gift of serenity? Have my actions begun to reflect my inner faith?

Today I Pray

May I never cease to be awed by the serenity I see in oohters in my group — a serenity which manifest their comfortable surrender to a Higher Power. May I learn from them that peace of mind is possible even in the thick of trouble. May I, too, learn that I need to pull back from my problems now and then and draw upon the God-provided pool of serenity within myself.

Today I Will Remember

Serenity is surrender to God’s plan.

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One More Day

Every human being is a problem in search of a solution.
– Ashely Montagu

Despite the occasional disance or coolness that many of us sense within, we are also aware of wellsprings of emotion, ready to flow with feelings that have been long hidden. It sometimes takes a crisis, such as illness, chemical deendency, or loss of a loved one to literally drive us to seek help.

Trying to uncover deeply hidden painful emotions can feel like a treacherous path to follow, and some of us may be tempted to stop trying. But if we honestly open ourselves to these feelings, we can begin to know ourselves better and to build healthyier and more mature relationships.

Change can be frightening, especially when I’ve been hiding from my own emotions. If there is a problem, dealing with my emotions is part of the solution.

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Food For Thought

Staying with God

God never forsakes us; we forsake Him. We become so involved in our concerns and activities that we forget to open our eyes and our hearts to His presence. We may be physically abstinent, but still allow food to have the most important place in our lives. If our Higher Power is not at the center of our lives, we will find it difficult (if not impossible) to be emotionally abstinent.

Emotional binges occur when we wander away from our Higher Power into self-centered preoccupation. Without His control, we lose our serenity. There will always be cause of conflict and frustration in our daily lives. How we handle these situations depends on our spiritual condition.

By ourselves, we cannot manage our own lives. Our behavior can be insane. It is through the Power greater than ourselves that we are led into order, sanity, and recovery. To stay with this Power is our salvation.

May we not forsake You.

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One Day At A Time

LONGINGS

“The great question - which I have not been able
to answer - is, 'What does a woman want?'”
Sigmund Freud

All my life I have been searching for what I “really want”. I tried sports, different jobs, friends, lovers and traveling. I even tried therapy. None of these ever worked. Once I had what I thought I wanted, I didn't want it anymore. The urge to want -- to long for the best things -- was an inner, unsatisfied hunger. Excessive food became my sedating drug. When using food, I was numb to my longings. I felt it was impossible to fill this void. It seemed I would never know or receive what I wanted.

The 12 step program of recovery taught me that I could have anything I wanted -- if God gave it to me. When I stopped wanting everything so badly, and I surrendered to be His child and employee, I learned that what I'd thought of as “wanting”, was actually what I was “missing”. I missed everything important in my life, so I wanted everything. It was never enough ~ never the right thing or the right person. I felt that even I was "wrong" because I was without love, patience, tolerance or companionship. In OA I found all of that. With God's help, I now have those things in my life every day when I ask for it and accept it as part of me today.

One day at a time...
I no longer want so much, and I am thankful for what I receive. I am receiving more than I have ever dreamed of.
~ Trine

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AA 'Big Book' - Quote

More than most people, the alcoholic leads a double life. He is very much the actor. To the outer world he presents his stage character. This is the one he likes his fellows to see. He wants to enjoy a certain reputation, but knows in his heart he doesn't deserve it. - Pg. 73 - Into Action

Hour To Hour - Book - Quote

Right now, you are getting rid of the toxic things in your life: toxic substances, toxic people, toxic behavior patterns and toxic thoughts. The only way to do this is to look, listen, and imitate those that have already done it. Slowly it becomes real for you, too.

I know that I cannot find this new path alone. Let me accept the guidance of those that have gone before me.

My Reservoir of Peace

There is nothing in my day that is more important than my serenity. It is my responsibility to maintain and attend to it. Whatever I do in the world, my serenity comes first. I owe it to no one. I will pay attention today to the myriad of ways in which I am thrown off balance and I will take a moment to center myself, to breathe, to remember that when I can calm my body, mind and spirit, I interact differently the people, places and things of my day. I will work daily to build my serenity muscles so that I stay strong and flexible. Serenity isn't something that I can just grab and have. I need to nourish it through quiet and reflection and come back to it what I lose it. My serenity is mine to look after. I give myself the gift of my own serenity today and every day.

- Tian Dayton PhD

Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote

'The choice is up to you. It can either be 'Good morning, God!' or 'Good God, morn-ing.' ~Dr. Wayne Dryer, Everyday Wisdom
Choice, not chance, determines my day.

"Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book

Take the program seriously, not yourself.

Time for Joy - Book - Quote

I no longer decide what I should feel. That is very limiting.

If I limit my negative feelings, I limit my positive feelings as well.

Today I am opening myself to all my feelings. That gives me great joy.

Alkiespeak - Book - Quote

I heard this guy sharing and he said : 'I ended up drinking wine, alone, in an alley.' I started out drinking wine, alone, in an alley. - Danny T.