What gripes your behind about AA meetings?
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 2,775
Originally Posted by Gottalife 
"The tremendous fact for every one of us is that we have discovered a common solution. We have a way out on which we can absolutely agree, and upon which we can join in brotherly and harmonious action. This is the great news this book carries to those who suffer from alcoholism."
It is a pity you don't seem able to join us in this agreement. I have found working with the proven solution a lot more effective for the newcomer than when I was adding Mike's optional and unproven extras.
It is a pity you don't seem able to join us in this agreement. I have found working with the proven solution a lot more effective for the newcomer than when I was adding Mike's optional and unproven extras.
I feel I do work the AA program and if I say I am a recovering alcoholic who takes it one day at a time I don't believe it is wrong. (I know a meeting which frowns on sponsorship because it's not in the BB.) I was taught everything in AA is a suggestion and my years in the rooms have shown no one ever has a lock on sobriety. It's just one day at a time. You want to stay sober? Appreciate your sobriety and stay close to the program. (I say the serenity pray at night to be thankful for being sober.)
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Manchester, UK
Posts: 1,111
One of the biggest shames in AA is that people with a common problem, common solution and mostly a common understanding sometimes find point of disagreement if they look hard enough 
I understand the reference point of both Recovered and Recovering alcoholics. I know what I've recovered from and what is an ongoing daily process of recovery...so am happy to use either term. And that as I understand it is straight from the Big Book.
I respect and have learnt from all of you fine gentlemen here as I'm sure you respect and have learnt from each other
P
I understand the reference point of both Recovered and Recovering alcoholics. I know what I've recovered from and what is an ongoing daily process of recovery...so am happy to use either term. And that as I understand it is straight from the Big Book.
I respect and have learnt from all of you fine gentlemen here as I'm sure you respect and have learnt from each other
P
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Colorado
Posts: 3,781
Originally Posted by paulokes
One of the biggest shames in AA is that people with a common problem, common solution and mostly a common understanding sometimes find point of disagreement if they look hard enough
I understand the reference point of both Recovered and Recovering alcoholics. I know what I've recovered from and what is an ongoing daily process of recovery...so am happy to use either term. And that as I understand it is straight from the Big Book.
I respect and have learnt from all of you fine gentlemen here as I'm sure you respect and have learnt from each other
P
I understand the reference point of both Recovered and Recovering alcoholics. I know what I've recovered from and what is an ongoing daily process of recovery...so am happy to use either term. And that as I understand it is straight from the Big Book.
I respect and have learnt from all of you fine gentlemen here as I'm sure you respect and have learnt from each other
P
Member
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Philadelphia, PA
Posts: 1,742
Sensory stuff. I can deal with whatever people say and/or how they say it. Sensory stuff is a challenge, though. Coffee too hot or too bitter, temperature too hot or too cold, ambient noises, flickering lights, mildewy smells. Yup. That's my challenge. But I keep coming back because it works when I work it.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Philadelphia, PA
Posts: 1,742
People get on my nerves too, but where would I be without them? Surely worse off than I otherwise would be. The things that cause me to gripe in AA are also the things that take me deeper into recovery. It's that paradox thang.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: Boston, MA
Posts: 1,601
There are some very sick people in AA.
There are some meetings I cannot attend because of the people. And no, I am not talking about people I just don't get along with. I am talking about 65 year old men who travel to Thailand to have sex with child prostitutes and then share on their spirituality and how God directs their thinking. Peace out y'all! I can't listen to that BS.
There are some meetings I cannot attend because of the people. And no, I am not talking about people I just don't get along with. I am talking about 65 year old men who travel to Thailand to have sex with child prostitutes and then share on their spirituality and how God directs their thinking. Peace out y'all! I can't listen to that BS.
12 Step Recovered Alcoholic
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 6,613
Originally Posted by paulokes
One of the biggest shames in AA is that people with a common problem, common solution and mostly a common understanding sometimes find point of disagreement if they look hard enough
I understand the reference point of both Recovered and Recovering alcoholics. I know what I've recovered from and what is an ongoing daily process of recovery...so am happy to use either term. And that as I understand it is straight from the Big Book.
I respect and have learnt from all of you fine gentlemen here as I'm sure you respect and have learnt from each other
P
I understand the reference point of both Recovered and Recovering alcoholics. I know what I've recovered from and what is an ongoing daily process of recovery...so am happy to use either term. And that as I understand it is straight from the Big Book.
I respect and have learnt from all of you fine gentlemen here as I'm sure you respect and have learnt from each other
P
Bunny, your refer to Thailand, where I happen to be at the moment. AA here is in quite good shape thanks. I have yet to encounter the types you talk of in the meetings I have attended in Bangkok and Ao Nang, which is the town nearest the marina I am in. AA in Thailand has just published the second version of the bing book translated to Thai. A monumental achievement considering the Thai language does not translate easily from the English, and the local customs differ greatly from what we are used to.
Thai AA, I understand, has at last begun making progress with the locals, especially in the Northern meetings. Alcoholism is a big problem here. The overseas or expat members tend to be either here through there employment, or, as in my case, many are retired and free to travel, live overseas if they wish. Most of those are long term sober, which is why they have the resources to do this. Freedom from alcohol.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
Originally Posted by paulokes
One of the biggest shames in AA is that people with a common problem, common solution and mostly a common understanding sometimes find point of disagreement if they look hard enough
I understand the reference point of both Recovered and Recovering alcoholics. I know what I've recovered from and what is an ongoing daily process of recovery...so am happy to use either term. And that as I understand it is straight from the Big Book.
I respect and have learnt from all of you fine gentlemen here as I'm sure you respect and have learnt from each other
P
I understand the reference point of both Recovered and Recovering alcoholics. I know what I've recovered from and what is an ongoing daily process of recovery...so am happy to use either term. And that as I understand it is straight from the Big Book.
I respect and have learnt from all of you fine gentlemen here as I'm sure you respect and have learnt from each other
P
i have recovered from the seemingly hopeless state of body and mind that made me drink.
im still recovering from the spiritual malady.
My brain is trying to kill me
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Palo Alto, ca
Posts: 401
ME. Focusing on me and not the fact that we're all there to help one another and that no matter what my perception of someone or something is; there's something about them or it that can help me; and being judgmental is my ego getting in the way and blocking my recovery.
RECOVERY. It's a beautiful thing, embrace it today; no matter how it looks there's something for you- to use, learn and grow.
RECOVERY. It's a beautiful thing, embrace it today; no matter how it looks there's something for you- to use, learn and grow.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: Albany, NY
Posts: 75
Biggest gripe about AA?
People who have no tolerance for others and make fun of or talk about others behind their back.
We are all suffering in some way. And there is no one that I cannot learn something from.
People who have no tolerance for others and make fun of or talk about others behind their back.
We are all suffering in some way. And there is no one that I cannot learn something from.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Manchester, UK
Posts: 1,111
Originally Posted by Gottalife
It seems like I will continue to learn Paul. Perhaps you can tell me where it says in the big book that we will always be recovering, or that the process of recovery is ongoing.
When a person offends...we say this is a sick person. Are we truly so deluded to think the rest of the world can still be sick while we have a position of perfect grace and spiritual health?
I can quote of course...but as I said I think it's just a matter of perspective. The Recovered/Recovering debate is usually a matter of perspective and misunderstanding.
P
Guest
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 1,271
Originally Posted by Ken33xx
#1 members who when sharing go on and on. (Which is why I like meetings that use a timer.)
#2 members who regularly play the victim or the poor me card.
#3 members whose shares often have nothing to do with the topic or recovery in general. (It's an AA meeting not group therapy.)
#2 members who regularly play the victim or the poor me card.
#3 members whose shares often have nothing to do with the topic or recovery in general. (It's an AA meeting not group therapy.)
And honestly, I know the whole thing if something or someone disturbs me, it is me who is disturbed, but these types of members ruin AA.
They're harming themselves and the rest of the group using AA as free group therapy, whether they mean to or not.
Someone needs to gently take them aside and tell them what AA meetings are and are not, and suggest they get a sponsor to start working the steps.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 2,775
The 10 Biggest Secrets People Keep in AA - Substance.com
1. “I’m not really an alcoholic. I’m just lonely.”
All alcoholics wonder at some point if they’re actually one or not—it’s the nature of the beast. We all go through periods where we want to be non-alcoholic, because non-alcoholics get to drink (and that’s our favorite thing to do). But most of us really are alcoholics (or cocaine or heroin or weed addicts), or we wouldn’t end up in AA.
But your secret is that you’re not an alcoholic at all—straight up. You’ve been drunk before, and you’ll milk those stories when you share, but you weren’t a daily drinker or even a “weekend warrior.” You don’t need a program to help you stay sober—you need a program to help you find friends. And you have arrived! AA is the community you always wanted, with people as eccentric and “out there” as you. All of them quietly listening while you talk about your obsession with Star Wars, your slight agoraphobia and your hatred of your stepmother. As long as you call yourself an alcoholic, you have everyone’s rapt attention. Also, free coffee and cookies. Why is anyone not in AA
I know a long-term member I believe fits the above. Strange but he's been sober well over ten years yet rarely discusses recovery.
It's all about the fellowship and hanging out before/after meetings.
1. “I’m not really an alcoholic. I’m just lonely.”
All alcoholics wonder at some point if they’re actually one or not—it’s the nature of the beast. We all go through periods where we want to be non-alcoholic, because non-alcoholics get to drink (and that’s our favorite thing to do). But most of us really are alcoholics (or cocaine or heroin or weed addicts), or we wouldn’t end up in AA.
But your secret is that you’re not an alcoholic at all—straight up. You’ve been drunk before, and you’ll milk those stories when you share, but you weren’t a daily drinker or even a “weekend warrior.” You don’t need a program to help you stay sober—you need a program to help you find friends. And you have arrived! AA is the community you always wanted, with people as eccentric and “out there” as you. All of them quietly listening while you talk about your obsession with Star Wars, your slight agoraphobia and your hatred of your stepmother. As long as you call yourself an alcoholic, you have everyone’s rapt attention. Also, free coffee and cookies. Why is anyone not in AA
I know a long-term member I believe fits the above. Strange but he's been sober well over ten years yet rarely discusses recovery.
It's all about the fellowship and hanging out before/after meetings.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
not a gripe but something that makes me think:
so, the program tells me how selfish,self centeredness was a wee bit of a problem. program teaches me to get out of self.
then go to meetings, where i am to share my ESH- talk about my story.
one definition of egotist- one who too frequently uses the word "I".
so, the program tells me how selfish,self centeredness was a wee bit of a problem. program teaches me to get out of self.
then go to meetings, where i am to share my ESH- talk about my story.
one definition of egotist- one who too frequently uses the word "I".
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 2,775
Originally Posted by tomsteve
not a gripe but something that makes me think:
so, the program tells me how selfish,self centeredness was a wee bit of a problem. program teaches me to get out of self.
then go to meetings, where i am to share my ESH- talk about my story.
one definition of egotist- one who too frequently uses the word "I".
so, the program tells me how selfish,self centeredness was a wee bit of a problem. program teaches me to get out of self.
then go to meetings, where i am to share my ESH- talk about my story.
one definition of egotist- one who too frequently uses the word "I".
Does it really matter? You get sober and learn to live life without the bottle. Hard for many alcoholics to comprehend it can actually be done. There's a fellow I know who will be celebrating a year the middle of this month. I told him not long ago because we belong to a rather small AA community he's been fortunate to learn early on not everything is peaches and cream within the fellowship. But we still come back week after week.
Will this road lead to a happy destination? Maybe but I do know this much is true: We're going in the right direction.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Manchester, UK
Posts: 1,111
Originally Posted by tomsteve
not a gripe but something that makes me think:
so, the program tells me how selfish,self centeredness was a wee bit of a problem. program teaches me to get out of self.
then go to meetings, where i am to share my ESH- talk about my story.
one definition of egotist- one who too frequently uses the word "I".
so, the program tells me how selfish,self centeredness was a wee bit of a problem. program teaches me to get out of self.
then go to meetings, where i am to share my ESH- talk about my story.
one definition of egotist- one who too frequently uses the word "I".
What's the saying? Carry this message...and if you must, use words
P
Guest
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 1,271
Originally Posted by Ken33xx
The 10 Biggest Secrets People Keep in AA - Substance.com
1. “I’m not really an alcoholic. I’m just lonely.”
All alcoholics wonder at some point if they’re actually one or not—it’s the nature of the beast. We all go through periods where we want to be non-alcoholic, because non-alcoholics get to drink (and that’s our favorite thing to do). But most of us really are alcoholics (or cocaine or heroin or weed addicts), or we wouldn’t end up in AA.
But your secret is that you’re not an alcoholic at all—straight up. You’ve been drunk before, and you’ll milk those stories when you share, but you weren’t a daily drinker or even a “weekend warrior.” You don’t need a program to help you stay sober—you need a program to help you find friends. And you have arrived! AA is the community you always wanted, with people as eccentric and “out there” as you. All of them quietly listening while you talk about your obsession with Star Wars, your slight agoraphobia and your hatred of your stepmother. As long as you call yourself an alcoholic, you have everyone’s rapt attention. Also, free coffee and cookies. Why is anyone not in AA
I know a long-term member I believe fits the above. Strange but he's been sober well over ten years yet rarely discusses recovery.
It's all about the fellowship and hanging out before/after meetings.
1. “I’m not really an alcoholic. I’m just lonely.”
All alcoholics wonder at some point if they’re actually one or not—it’s the nature of the beast. We all go through periods where we want to be non-alcoholic, because non-alcoholics get to drink (and that’s our favorite thing to do). But most of us really are alcoholics (or cocaine or heroin or weed addicts), or we wouldn’t end up in AA.
But your secret is that you’re not an alcoholic at all—straight up. You’ve been drunk before, and you’ll milk those stories when you share, but you weren’t a daily drinker or even a “weekend warrior.” You don’t need a program to help you stay sober—you need a program to help you find friends. And you have arrived! AA is the community you always wanted, with people as eccentric and “out there” as you. All of them quietly listening while you talk about your obsession with Star Wars, your slight agoraphobia and your hatred of your stepmother. As long as you call yourself an alcoholic, you have everyone’s rapt attention. Also, free coffee and cookies. Why is anyone not in AA
I know a long-term member I believe fits the above. Strange but he's been sober well over ten years yet rarely discusses recovery.
It's all about the fellowship and hanging out before/after meetings.
Guest
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 1,271
Originally Posted by tomsteve
not a gripe but something that makes me think:
so, the program tells me how selfish,self centeredness was a wee bit of a problem. program teaches me to get out of self.
then go to meetings, where i am to share my ESH- talk about my story.
one definition of egotist- one who too frequently uses the word "I".
so, the program tells me how selfish,self centeredness was a wee bit of a problem. program teaches me to get out of self.
then go to meetings, where i am to share my ESH- talk about my story.
one definition of egotist- one who too frequently uses the word "I".
The longer I've been in recovery, the more I try to just share on my experience with the steps. That way I stay out of ego as much as possible. But I still throw in a little bit of "what I used to be like", as a reminder to myself and so the newbie can identify. But it's not my focus.
Guest
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 1,271
Originally Posted by paulokes
Recovered from acute Alcoholism Mike. Still at risk on any given day of exhibiting the signs of emotional illness...hence my need and gratitude for a program of recovery. ..a design for living.
When a person offends...we say this is a sick person. Are we truly so deluded to think the rest of the world can still be sick while we have a position of perfect grace and spiritual health?
I can quote of course...but as I said I think it's just a matter of perspective. The Recovered/Recovering debate is usually a matter of perspective and misunderstanding.
P
When a person offends...we say this is a sick person. Are we truly so deluded to think the rest of the world can still be sick while we have a position of perfect grace and spiritual health?
I can quote of course...but as I said I think it's just a matter of perspective. The Recovered/Recovering debate is usually a matter of perspective and misunderstanding.
P
Hence, steps 10, 11, and 12 on a daily basis.
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