The Delusion
 

This is what I'm working on craving alcohol from lower self just one now that's delusional. Higher self can I stay in the Thalmus and Pineal consciousness or do I go to the abyss. I know the abyss spirit's causes there alive in me. Day 3 I'm going to Pray and read Esoteric Books swoooosh made it to the Third Heaven I"ll be fine until the best comes back.

glad youre workin on gettin back on track,ds. something dr bob said in his farewell talk comes to mind while reading your post:


There are two or three things that flashed into my mind on which it would be fitting to lay a little emphasis. One is the simplicity of our program. Let's not louse it all up with Freudian complexes and things that are interesting to the scientific mind, but have very little to do with our actual A.A. work. Our Twelve Steps, when simmered down to the last, resolve themselves into the words “love” and “service.” We understand what love is, and we understand what service is. So let's bear those two things in mind.

the simpler i make it the easier it is

You could always surrender and, "Ask His Protection and Care with complete abandon..." And get into action with a sponsor and The Steps.
"A.A.'s Twelve Steps are a group of principles, spiritual
in their nature, which, if practiced as a way of life, can expel
the obsession to drink and enable the sufferer to become
happily and usefully whole." 12 and 12, Foreword

Or keep doing the same self-help expecting something to be different this time? An alcoholic cannot think himself into new living, he must live himself into new thinking. My experience, anyway.

Yes that's what I'm gonna do get a sponsor. Top 5 issues. Hey I'm complicating it trust me there's no cure for alcoholism. I got my own Conception of God when I turn back to my family's belief system which is all based on emotion I get drunk. Hey I'm looking for a cure for schizophrenia I won't make any other post about this in this AA section.But I'm starting to have doubt about finding a cure for schizophrenia but I will settle for a cure for fibromyalgia.Hunting down the guy I want to sponsor me today first things firs. Refusing to put God first he lacked the help he needed yes that's me. Look I feel Reborn doing step three and if I don't go on to steps 4-9 quick with the desperation of a drowning man I won't feel Reborn I'll feel hungover guess what folks I'm desperate. Made three phone calls going to 10:00 am meeting looking for him and asking people if they got his number I'm really gonna do it.

good on ya DS. Im thinkin that like alcoholism, there isn't a cure for schizophrenia. but there IS a solutiuon and a way to manage it.

remember,DS, this is a journey,not a race.