Defects of character
 

I'm not even past step 2 yet, but I'm ready to get rid of the character defects NOW! I am so angry at myself for being the way I am, and my old yucky personality traits came through tonight after a discussion with my husband. Before, I would use this as an excuse to get drunk, but now I just want myself fixed. I know I have to take it one day at a time, but I want my bright, shiny glorious sober future now. I'm tired of being me. But I know that I can't expect a miracle overnight and I have to get through some other steps first, but I'm sooo ready for God to change me. I just feel a lot of self-pity right now I guess. But the good news is, getting drunk is the LAST thing I want to do. So there's a step in the right direction.

Take it slow, listen to your sponsor, as you've got the rest of your life to work the steps. I wanted it all fixed NOW, I wanted that immediate gratification of self acceptance, it takes time, allow your self that. *hugs*

(((Lilalkie)))

Yes...we seem to want quick fixes. I've found the quick fixes don't last long. We are dealing with a lifetime worth of healing. That takes time then more time. Patience is a virtue for a reason. Learning it progresses us where we need to be at a particular time in our lives. It's all apart of the big lesson. It sounds like your ready to take on the challenge. Good luck...we all are learning to take it one day at a time.

LeAnne

I will echo what others have said. Take it easy and slow. It is fine to begin to recognize character defects, but try not to knock yourself too much. I imagine you have already changed more than you realize! Hang in there.

Hugs--

The fact that you want to change is positive change! For me, drinking was the ultimate in instant gratification. If I didn't like the way things were, I just got drunk. Instantly, things appeared to get better. But nothing ever changed unless it changed for the worse. And at the end, when what I really wanted to escape was the drinking itself, all I had to fall back on was more drinking because I had no other tools. So I drank more. And more.

Real change takes time and learning to accept that and be ok with it is... positive change! For me it is important to give some attention to the small changes that occur each day I am sober. My recovery has not been like one of those late night infomercials that promise you will lose weight in just 6 weeks while sitting on the couch eating pizza.

Jah Bless

I haven't got rid of my character defects either! I offered them to God when I did my 7th step, but I keep pulling them back! Things ARE better than they were though.
These manifestations of your character defects are useful, at least mine are to me. It gives me more stuff to write about in my step work! By working the steps, I am able to adress these issues with a plan that really works. I then can share exactly how this program works for me in meetings!

I'm on Step 9, but I'm working character defects continuously. Haven't got rid of them all either.

When I got serious on the Steps, I wanted to rush ahead too. Wanted to start on ALL of them! But my sponsor made me take them one at a time :)

You have such a positive attitude, Lilalkie! Good for you!

Hi Lil,
One day at a time, One step at a time.
My character had/has defects because my whole life was out of whack. My character is made up of thoughts and emotions, which when "drug affected" are just naturally going to defective. Over a period of time using alcohol, I became a defective person....mentally, physically, and spiritually. It takes time and sobriety to make these corrections. God needs time to work his miricle on us. Don't rush yourself or Him. Just don't drink and as has been said here; use your sponsor and the AA program to make these corrections. The worst thing I can do is to get frustrated and try to hurry things along. I used drinking to hurry things along. Now I use AA and my HP. Just tie a knot and hang on. The miricle will happen...I promise.

The miracle already happened. It takes us time to see it.
Growth of charactor is a daily thing. I have seen big growth in your posts.
Some things take a little time. With each step you will grow even more.
Stand in the joy of what has happened and the growth will come as we are in position for it to happen. Just your awareness that there may be need for change is a huge growth in and of itself.

Your doing great. Work the steps slowly and you may get more from them. Work the steps daily and you will get more yet again.
Not a race... it is an experience. Enjoy and grow from each moment.