First sponsor..what to expect?
 

So I have found someone who has what I want. He is 22 years sober, works in my industry, and is very professional yet candid.

He has been talking to me everyday since we met. He has already invited me out for recreational activities we both enjoy and has offered help with things like moving to a new place, etc.

I am going to ask him to sponsor me...this will be my first sponsor. My question is... What should I expect? Do we go straight in to step work? Get to know each other better first? What are some things I may want to look out for?

Thanks

When I met my first sponsor our first meeting consisted of me telling him my story. In our second meeting he told me his story. We started on step 1 in our 3rd meeting. It's hard to say what your sponsor will do as there is no one right way to sponsor someone, but hopefully he won't wait long to start the process of having you reading the literature as a starting point. When we started on the steps my sponsor would have me read a certain part of the BB and/or 12&12 and then we would meet to discuss it. When he felt like I had a full understanding of the corresponding step we were discussing we would move on to the next step.

As for what to look out for this is only my opinion, as I stated there is no one right way to sponsor someone. I ended up leaving my first sponsor when it seemed we were getting bogged down with the minutia of each step and the corresponding literature. Everyone coming into AA has different circumstances when they arrive, and for me personally I was in desperate straits and needed relief. I found another sponsor who took me through the steps using the BB in about a month. Again that is what worked best for me so that's what I looked for. My first sponsor is a great guy and we are still friends today. He just had his own style and at the time I felt I needed someone else. I wouldn't hesitate to ask him to take me through the steps in the future now that I am on solid footing and could probably benefit from a more in-depth process.

This seems like the way things may play out for me as well. Thanks for your input.

Each sponsor is different, each relationship is different. A sponsor sponsee relationship is dynamic not static. Ever changing, evolving and growing.

I see a sponsor serving two roles. The first is guiding you through the steps the second is guiding you through sobriety.

Sounds like you made a good choice. Don't worry about it and go with the flow

Expect nothing, other than that he will take you through the steps. And that in so doing, you will transform. As Grungehead said, there is no right or wrong way to sponsor someone.

My sponsor set down boundaries first, then we worked on those steps

when i first met with the person i'd asked to guide me through the steps, that's what i told them i wanted: to be guided through the steps.
so it was i who set that boundary. i didn't want friendship or anything else, just help through the steps.
i needed clear boundaries for myself. iasked how they saw their role. i asked how they approached it, how they usually do it and what they expect from me.

it was a good beginning, to talk about mutual expectations. to be clear we were doing this together, in a way, even though i was being guided and they had the experience.
it helped me to trust.
months later, the relationship has shifted and now includes friendship. all kinds of things included that at the beginning i was afraid of :)

It is hard to say what to expect since each person is different.My first sponsor never sat with me except in meetings and chatted a bit outside.I had to get thru most of it myself.He told me the basic stuff,call before you take a drink,read the book etc

You should expect him to share his experience and take you through the steps. You should not expect him to give you the answers you want to hear.