That was tough
 

I shared at my tenth meeting back after my slip. It's so hard, I am a nervous sharer, trembling and tripping over my words and then worry about what I said later, pretty much all day. Hoping this gets easier. I need to find some strength.

I had some time with my sponsor after the meeting and I have started step 4. I feel very angry at all the names I have written down and he said get prepared to feel even angrier as I complete the columns on Step 4. He told me to share at every meeting and start using the phone to him and other members. This I find hard as all my life I have dealt with everything myself and been the go to guy for others problems.

I'm just feeling fearful so wanted to write this down....call it a share!

On my side is I will do absolutely anything I am told to do to get this. I want what I see in the rooms. I just have to be brave and get stuck in. Let's do this.

Thanks SR. Wonderful site.

I'm sure it will get easier sthlondonab :)

D

Resentment and Fear are the two major destroyers of alcoholics.
Writing them down on paper helps to take the power away from them.
Telling your sponsor about them helps even more. Keep up the good
work. It works.

Just keep sharing. Don't worry about second guessing what you've said. Just be honest. Talk about your feelings about your sharing and about working on your sobriety. I think the hardest thing to face in the fourth step is the last column about the part I play in how I feel about people, places and things. Just focus on honesty and being thorough. You'll be fine.:herewego

You're being brave by sharing, I know it's difficult in the beginning. I was shaking like a leaf and couldn't speak straight. People helped me. some people laughed at me (maybe i said something funny). keep sharing!!!

I was told/taught to share, as Music said above, honestly.......from the heart......about what's REALLY going on in my life right now.

It's easier to share (and for me, a cop-out) about "when I was new....." or "I used to......" It's a challenge to talk about what's going on now - mostly because it means I have to break through the BS facade I want to put up that leads ppl to believe I'm doing everything perfectly.

I used to listen to some open talks (more like lectures......done by a therapist) and in them this guy talked about EVERYthing. Stuff I would NEVER have mentioned at the time. Listening to him though, and noticing I was nodding my head in agreement and hearing the ppl at the taping laughing in agreement made it a easier for me to feel safe and start trying.

When I speak honestly......about what's goin on in my life with the step, principle, or whatever the topic is......I feel more like I've been to an AA meeting. When I BS ppl, hide the truth or try to impress ppl, I usually come away with a lot less relief.

Keep it up. Sounds to me like you're doing it just right. :)