The "weight" of the phone
 

How do you get over the fear of calling people from AA? I have to get a sponsor and build a support network and I'm terrified of saying something weird or being a bother. As a result I've gone nearly 3 weeks without calling a single person.
Susan

Well.................one of the first suggestions (sic) my first sponsor made for me was that I was to get two new phone numbers every day, and I was to call, and speak to, three people every day. Answering machines/voice mail/etc. did not count. Now, I did not have to have longdrawn-out conversations with these folks, but I did need to at least speak to real live persons. The whole conversation could be.............'hi, this is Noelle and this is one of my AA calls for the day.' and hang up...........simple. The theory being that getting used to using the phone when it's not needed will make it easier to use when needed.

Now................get off the computer and make a call! (just joshin.......sort of).

(o:
NoelleR

In the beginning, my calls went like "Hey this is Clutch from the AA meeting. I'm new and making some calls. Just wanted to say hi and hope you're having a great day!"

It's not really as awkward as we think it will be.

I'm always happy when a newcomer calls me. I know how much courage it takes, and it helps me to stay sober by helping someone.

it`s not too bad once you get started.I was nervous at first but it got easier
you can always talk soberiety

I didn't have a phone when I first got sober. There were pay phones, first in the half way house where I lived and then in the rooming house where I stayed. What I did was walk around with a bunch of dimes in my pocket and just made the calls. After a while it became part of the routine.

-allan

walk through that fear and call and ask how someone's day has been. no matter how much "time" we have, sometimes we need someone to talk to, too. :)

it's a two-way street, like here on SR

Oh my gosh, call! Call right now! I have been in the program for 20 months and I've given out my number countless times, and I rarely get a phone call from a newcomer. When I have gotten that rare call, it was awesome! That someone would want to chat or ask for help, that is working the program.

When you call someone, you are helping that person too. :)

You are not going to say anything that the person you are calling has not already said or felt.

A problem shared is a problem cut in half. The weight of carrying whatever burdens you becomes lighter.

I had no problem doing whatever I needed to do to drink. I wanted relief. The same applies with picking up the phone.

Be a bother!! That's why people give us numbers to call, so we can bother them. You never know, someone you call just might need to hear from you and they'll be helped as well.:herewego

I am so with Tamerua. I always give my number to newcomers (females or gay guys only, no funny business with me LOL). and seldom get a phone call. When I do, it is actually a treat.
Often at the Saturday meeting I chair, one of the new ladies will be talking about stuggling during the week and I just think to myself: Why didn't she call me?
If those are just practice phone calls, try to remember something the person has shared:
You could call for example saying:
Hi, this is Insallah I was just calling to see how you were doing and if your mom is out of the hospital (or if you need help with that paint job or whatever). It also will help you get out of yourself and pay attention to others' shares.

Thank you OP and the posters on this thread.

I had the exact same question and concern myself. I have always been the guy who fixes things himself and doesn't bother other people....

I feel reassured now and will use the numbers I am exchanging. I never thought about how a call could help the other person too.

Hope it helped you too Inshallah.

This is the truth and a good thing to point out.

I learned early to accept help from others. I was told it was selfish not to let others help me and after thinking about it really was.

They stay sober by helping just as I now stay sober by helping. It gets passed on and not making those calls means I am robbing someone else of the chance to remain sober.

Susan, I hated making calls & I still hate making calls, but I do it & I love getting them. Just had two after dinner.

I recall a time in early sobriety, and I was having a hard time, physically. Lot of pain, couldn't get out of my head, praying a drink didn't start to look like the solution. I prayed & prayed and prayed. I called my sponsor, but all I really did was whine to her.

And then...

My phone started to ring. There were about five of us, all within two or three weeks of each other (sobriety-wise), and three others were having a hard time & started ringing my phone, asking for an ear. My phone rang all weekend!! I had two cordless phones, and I was running them both dead! At first, it was like -- I don't need this ****! I'm in pain!

And then something really cool happened. I got out of my own head and thought about somebody else. By the time everybody's crisis calmed down, I was through my flare. My pain had returned to manageable.

My prayer was answered. I'm telling you -- this is the greatest show on earth, if we keep our eye on the stage.

Peace & Love,
Sugah

Maybe face to face is the way to get over the fear of talking.

I don't call folks much. I prefer to go for coffee after meeting, out to dinner, etc. The point is to make those personal connections in life.

There's no magic in how one does that, really.

Thats normal, wait until you go to enough meetings and many different AA people start to see you out and about in the real world, outside the hidden confines of a safe AA room. Sure some will obey the Traditions, others not. Just like some people work the steps in their daily lives, others keep the seat warm and spout stuff off about their day, others can sing a great AA tune in the rooms but live their own life taking their will back once outside that AA door.

Its happened to me before, where I was shopping and this "AA old-timer" came up to me and started spouting off AA stuff to me while I was with my new GF at the time. This caused many conflicts between me and my GF because this AA member didnt respect me, nor AA. Today I would say most members of AA respect the Traditions, others will push the boundry. I prefer the head nod in recognition, its subtle, I do not mind that one bit.