AA Drama
Member
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Bklyn. NY
Posts: 1,859
I get the same things... women crowding around me, we go out to eat, doesn't take long to find out all they're looking to do is get in my pants. It's disturbing.
Not.
How come it doesn't work that way though.... hmm...
Just joking of course. I'm happily married.
I agree with Carlotta. Step and Bigbook meetings usually ward off that type. I usually see what you're talking about going on at the more "social" meetings. And while those meetings have a lot of appeal for new members, they're not the greatest places to be hanging out. At least not until you have a little time under your belt.
I have lots of women friends in AA. Some enjoy the attention and jump right into that stuff, which I don't consider a healthy choice, others find different meetings. Some make a women's meeting their homegroup. My best friend in AA right now is one of those women. She hangs with me and one other male friend of mine, because we're safe. Otherwise she hangs with women only. She also took a vow of celibacy for an undetermined period of time. It seems to be working for her. Keeps away the riffraff.
I say don't worry about the feelings of those guys, and get away. It will serve you well. There are healthier places to be hanging, and if that's not an option, healthier choices of things to be focusing on at the meetings. And it doesn't have to be forever. But it's best, IMO, for certain in the beginning.
Not.
How come it doesn't work that way though.... hmm...
Just joking of course. I'm happily married.
Originally Posted by Carlotta 
I wanted to add that it might be wise for you to go to a different meeting, maybe a step meeting? Men who work the steps do not act like that.
If it was one individual it would be one thing but the fact that there are several of them circling over you like vultures show that this is tolerated by the group...where are the women? Did the ladies give you their number and invited you for coffee???
If it was one individual it would be one thing but the fact that there are several of them circling over you like vultures show that this is tolerated by the group...where are the women? Did the ladies give you their number and invited you for coffee???
I have lots of women friends in AA. Some enjoy the attention and jump right into that stuff, which I don't consider a healthy choice, others find different meetings. Some make a women's meeting their homegroup. My best friend in AA right now is one of those women. She hangs with me and one other male friend of mine, because we're safe. Otherwise she hangs with women only. She also took a vow of celibacy for an undetermined period of time. It seems to be working for her. Keeps away the riffraff.
I say don't worry about the feelings of those guys, and get away. It will serve you well. There are healthier places to be hanging, and if that's not an option, healthier choices of things to be focusing on at the meetings. And it doesn't have to be forever. But it's best, IMO, for certain in the beginning.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: US
Posts: 556
Not only would I find a new meeting but I would talk to the secretary of the meeting so they are aware that kind of behavior is happening. That is really not ok.
I haven't had that experience - I mostly go to women's meetings but the mixed meetings I attend there is still sort of an invisible divide between men and women where socializing is concerned and I really prefer that right now in my sobriety. Maybe it will be different later, but now I need uncomplicated support and I get that in spades from the women.
I haven't had that experience - I mostly go to women's meetings but the mixed meetings I attend there is still sort of an invisible divide between men and women where socializing is concerned and I really prefer that right now in my sobriety. Maybe it will be different later, but now I need uncomplicated support and I get that in spades from the women.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
