Some years ago my ego was concentrated on my presentation and I wanted to be but was never profound. Some one suggested to me to just think of passing or raise my hand if I had a true need to express my experience on the topic. When this was done I discovered how much I learned by listening as opposed to thinking of what I was going to say. BE WELL

I try to say a little prayer before each meeting that God will guide me in what I say and do. Then I don't have to think too much about what I am going to say, if asked.

Usually, when I'm trying to impress people at a meeting.......or even here on SR.......what I say (type) seems to come out with the taint of ego all over it. Usually, nobody's impressed - nor should they be.

Impressing ppl isn't my purpose at a meeting. Sharing honestly, from the heart, about my actual real-live experience (which doesn't always match up with what the book says to do) with the step/process/solution/etc is what I'm supposed to do.

"remain silent and be thought a fool, speak and remove all doubt".

EGO is my constant companion when I want to tell everybody how great I am. Every now and then my sharing is from the heart and not the brain.

I will be recovering until the dirt hits me in the face. :)

Probably a few days late on this thread but a friend of mine often says don't worry too much about what you've shared in meetings we're all self centred alcoholics and are all probably thinking about ourselves, what we're gonna say or didnt say or how what the speaker is saying relates to ourselves rather than listening to what the speaker is actually saying.

Always makes me laugh and puts it in perspective for me.

It used to worry me going to meetings in the past, I'm not a great speaker. When I return, I will need to become involved.

I'm glad you, and people like you, keep sharing despite these feelings. I can't seem to open my mouth at all. Ha, in fact I almost deleted what I just typed here! Hitting post... now...

It seems like every time someone has come up to me after a meeting and thanked me for sharing it was after I thought I sounded like a babbling idiot?

Hmmmm...is that good or bad? :D

Good!

I know what you mean though. What are those encouraging AA old timers up to? http://www.smileyvault.com/albums/CB...imated-030.gif


I do try to share at every discussion meeting but if I find myself thinking to much over what to say then I come to the conclusion that maybe I should just keep my mouth shut and listen...lol

who we are
 

When I got home from my first AA meeting, I told my wife, "those people are just like me". They knew who I was and I had finally found the place where I belonged and where I fit in. I stopped drinking and valium and never took another............04.06.1986

"We love the spotlight and when we get it, we can't handle it", Jim W.

:ring

Hey everyone, sorry I forgot to come back and check on this thread! I was thinking some of what you all said, and did remember that sometimes someone will thank me for what I said and I'm surprised.

My group is fairly large, maybe medium sized, and lately everyone is scrambling to get a word in. So lately I've just been letting them do just that, while I stay silent.

I saw a member on the street and he waved and said hi and said my name. I thought, oh wow, I don't even know his name! So I decided to try to listen more. I do have a pretty solid foot in the fellowship and have made lots of friends. So when I get to the meetings I chit chat a lot. I'm working hard at trying to listen to others.

Strange this thing sobriety, isn't it?

Thanks everyone for all of your kind words, it helps a lot.

Funny you should mention this. I did a share last night which was quite emotional for me (and they usually arent). It was about a spiritual wakening I had a few weeks ago. It still brought tears to my eyes and made my voice shake. I felt so foolish afterwards ! But upon reflection, it was a good release to get it out. THe other people all had radiant smiles when I shared so hopefully it went down well. Oh well, I was speaking from my heart which is what actually matters....

Kaneda, I love those kinds of shares. So happy for you.

Although early in my sobriety, I have never had a problem speaking up at meetings--whether it's sharing my experience or asking for advice on an issue I am dealing with. Most of the time, I get responses from old timers that ruffle my feathers--such as "these are issues you need to discuss privately with your sponsor" or "Once you truly have faith in God, you won't feel this way or be able to deal with this or that."

Then I immediately regret speaking up, but after thinking about it afterwards, I just accept that these people are only human and most of them are "old school" and while they may come off as uncaring, harsh or opinionated, their intentions are really good at heart.

thanks for bringing that up Freebird....

you won't like this anymore than I did -lol- but there's a third option that has hit me plenty of times.

That's where what they say ruffles your feathers, you forgive them......then about a year later it hit me that what that old cook said was dead-on right, and yup, I didn't really have any faith, know what I was talking about, etc. heh....stuff like that'll get ya humble pretty quickly. lol

I think I'm going thru the terrible 2s. Whatever that means. It's a phase. I used to have no problem speaking up, now I'm insecure about it sometimes. I actually know the people there, and that's my problem. Before, I didn't know any of them.

I'm also tiring of the same ol's. The same ol person, the same ol share. My group is fairly large, and thankfully recently we've had a couple of newcomers.

I am still yet to actually sponsor someone, although I've been asked several times now. I realized the other day that I actually am "working" with someone, or a few people, in that we talk often, outside of the rooms, and get together often too.

I believe I'm in a phase. I'm trying to work through it. No matter what, do not drink. Second, look at the steps again. Third, work harder at my program, possibly change up meetings.

Lost...
Interesting you mentioned the issue of the same ol's. I have had that in my home group. Sometimes it is frustrating because it is the same old broken record. My sponsor said to me once that if we are dwelling on the same idea, problem or thought for more than a week then it really needs to be looked at and worked through.

My home group is either very Old timers with 20 years and older or new comers (under 1 year). There are very few of us in the middle of the road. I am 2 years 9 months. I still consider myself a new comer. I enjoy hearing everyone, the old timers have wonderful advice and have experience. The new comers remind me of exactly why I wanted to quit especially when I hear the struggling stories or thoughts. Sometimes it can be just one sentence that makes the whole meeting important to that day.

Most the time what people share will impact someone else in the room or it will be a reminder of themselves. Thanks for sharing everyone! Two thoughts are better than one!

"I spent years living in other peoples imaginations"

"Don't compare your insides to other peoples outsides"

Sounds like you are in the right place and you are helping a lot of people. Remember, we alcoholics are so busy thinking about ourselves that we sometimes forget to compliment others.

Your posts indicate to me that you are one of us and have earned the chair you're sitting in.

Sometimes I feel up and sometimes I feel down which is the nature of my disease. BTW, I had a great meeting today when my friend celebrated 6 years.

Also chips for 26 and 8 years and 3 months. The man with 3 months is hugging people at the door.

:tyou

sharing is like listening

take the good from your share
leave the rest

it helps to verbally reinforce your thinking

fraankie