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-   -   another one passed away. (https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/alcoholism-12-step-support/286113-another-one-passed-away.html)

tomsteve 03-02-2013 05:21 AM

another one passed away.
 
his name was joe, he was an alcoholic. joe is the one i mention on here about who at one time lived in a doorway in the cass corridor of detroit. joe was one who nearly lost all. his wife and family wanted absolutely nothing to do with him.
joe took his drinking to the point where physical damage was done. cirrhosis had set in. then in 1981 a miracle started happening. he ended up in the hospital near death. cirrhosis set in. he was very bad shape.
then he had a visit from some friends of Bill W. what they said didnt make no sense as the alcohol had his brain pretty fogged up. even though none of it made sense, one little thing did sink into is brain: hope.
joe gained as much of his physical health back as was possible.he went to meetings, got a sponsor, got the big book, got a higher power, and did what the big book and his sponsor suggested. hope never left.
i didnt meet joe until about 3 years ago( i didnt know he had been sober all that time). i coudnt stand him when he started showin up at meetings. he was too dam calm, always serious,and always stressing hope and a higher power. joe would come up to me after meetings(now, at meetings, joe would be doodling on his coffeee cup and i thought he wasnt listening to anything that was being said), and say,"tom, i listened to what ya were sayin, but i dont know where the big book tells us to do that.can ya point it out to me?"
"pick up the dam book and read it!" i would say.he did this quite often to me, not with a holier than thou attitude and just wanting to help another alcoholic.
welp, it didnt take long, but i saw that I was the one who needed to pick up the book and read it!
one day at a meeting, when it was joes turn to spreak, he mentioned his granddaughter had been hit by a drunk driver and nearly killed, then got onto the topic at hand. i thought that was weird.
about a year later, at a meeting, when it was joes turn, he shared that his wife of 41 years had passed away, then got right onto topic. i was stunned!! so i grabbed HIM after the meeting."joe, i when your granddaughter was almost kiled, ya didnt say anything more that that and got on topic. now here you are. yuor wife of 41 years passed away and ya did it again. how come ya dont talk about it at meetings?"
"tom, ya know i was livin in detroit when i got sober,right? i didnt have a choice over a sponsor. i was given one. the way it was back then was take your problems to your sponsor and the solution to the meetings and since i didnt know crap, my sponsor said it was highly advised i keep my mouth shut until knew what im talkin about. when i took my problems to my sponsor, the solution was straight from the big book. its been workin all this time and thats what i still do. i have been through some very very difficult things in life over the years and this is one of them. this is where i must keep my higher power in the driver seat and help another drunk. it got me though everything else and it will get me through this."
i came to enjoy seein joe at meetings( that happened before his wife passed away). i loved the message he carried. when a step was brought up, he would bring up the principle of the step. that made me see i didnt know what the principles of the steps were!!
what i absolutely loved was see the way joe carried the message of a higher power and the message of hope, 2 things he talked about a lot.
unfortunately, some of the physical damage from alcohol is irreversible. the cirrhosis started comin back bad.no, he wasnt drinking. as joe even said, this is one of the consequences of my actions i have had to live with.
joe passed away last week. he had been in a nursing home for 3 weeks. he didnt want any visitors other than his immediate family. he didnt was a memorial. why? that was joe. just from what i know of joe, if i were to go visit him, upon entering the room i could imagine him sayin," isnt there a meeting somewhere with a drunk that coiuld use your help?"
if there was to be a memorial, i could hear joe saying,'cmon, people. im dead! here ya all are and theres drunks out there dieing from this disease! dont ya remeber its cunning,baffling, and powerful!?!? get yer but to a meeting and help another drunk!!"

yup, im missin my friend today, but i am also blessed. i can hear him sayin,"tom, get over it. im dead!! now go carry the message of hope!!"

2granddaughters 03-02-2013 05:26 AM

Thanks, Tom.

Bob

paul99 03-02-2013 05:52 AM

Beautiful. I would have loved to meet Joe. Obviously he had touched you, and by you sharing this, he has touched me.

Thanks for sharing this. :)

laurie6781 03-02-2013 06:12 AM

What a beautiful tribute to a wonderful soul!!!!

Thank you for sharing Joe with us.

Love and hugs,

Patsy22 03-02-2013 06:29 AM

Thank you. My AP passed away from cirrohsis last month. He was no longer drinking and he reminded me of Joe. Joe sounded a lovely man too when he got away from the alcohol.

BadCompany 03-02-2013 06:39 AM

Guys like Joe show us that not only can this be done, but this can be done very welel.

Louise82 03-02-2013 06:58 AM

Tom, I'm sorry for your loss but I'm grateful and encouraged that God worked so powerfully through Joe and continues to do so in your memories of him. Thanks for sharing.

NewDay79 03-02-2013 07:36 AM

What a wonderful tribute. Thanks for sharing this.

Pamel 03-02-2013 07:40 AM

Thanks Tom; a wonderful post with a great message.

Huglets 03-02-2013 09:55 AM

Thanks for sharing Tom. Powerful stuff.

Fernaceman 03-02-2013 01:40 PM

Great share, Tom, thank you.

artsoul 03-03-2013 10:13 AM

:thanks That was really inspiring, Tom - thanks!

Jeni26 03-03-2013 12:22 PM

Thank you for sharing this Tom x

HappyDestiny3 03-03-2013 01:30 PM

Amen and God Bless ya Joe..

He is now with the heavy hitters at the big meeting.. Keeping seats open...

:candle6D:

chicory 03-03-2013 01:51 PM

Beautiful message.

Thank you, for sharing Joe with us.

deeker 03-06-2013 07:15 PM

Wow
 

Originally Posted by tomsteve (Post 3842791)
his name was joe, he was an alcoholic.sayin,"tom, get over it. im dead!! now go carry the message of hope!!"

Tom that was an amazing story and I feel better every time you post something. Sorry I was late on this one. Thank you friend! :)

ivegotsunshine 03-06-2013 07:20 PM

Thank you Tom, and Joe

Brian316 04-17-2014 07:12 PM

That was a very touching and great story. God bless you and Joe!

Eddiebuckle 04-17-2014 07:31 PM

Thanks Tom, you reminded me of a couple of the guys who have passed since I got sober. Funny how the ones who irritated the * out of me at first taught me the most, and they probably don't even know it.

Kris47 07-09-2014 05:30 PM

Thanks Tom.

Thanks, Joe. ^


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