Giving up control ahh what a relief - I have decided that I don't want control anymore . I tried to control everything for my whole life and when I couldn't I drank over it . It didn't get me very far . That is the self centeredness of my illness . Expecting everything to go my way . I was a self centered little brat, I had to pick the restaurant, the movie, the amusement park, the beach, the bar, the car, etc . I have really lightened up quite a bit . It really does not take much to please me today, cuz I found that inner peace from having a relationship with my higher power . Now that doesn't mean I don't have strong convictions because I do today and I stand up for what I believe in . Do I lose control in other areas of my life today? Well I don't know about that . I definitely don't get angry anymore or at least it has been a long time . I am a kinda of a go with the flow kinda gal . If it is a healthy atmosphere for my recovery wherever I am at I am pretty content . But I do protect my serenity fiercely so I set boundaries and I stick by them . I guess I have to control my surroundings if possible, I don't allow spiritual pollution into my life, meaning I control what I am exposed too . For example , I am not gonna hang around a bunch of people talking about strip bars . Or around people who are drinking/drugging . Sometimes I have to control my joy . I am bi polar and sometimes I get a little to happy lol and need to reel it in a bit . I can get really giddy, I know I can't control others anymore and when i finally accepted that, it felt like a huge weight fell off my shoulders . Others just have to go through their own stuff and I am not responsible for their choices, only mine . Yah You can pick the movie and restaurant tonight , I am just here for the ride!!:tyou |
Boy you folks are on the ball!! ty |
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