If "its" not just getting better with time, there's hope
 

A lot of folks are blessed with the gift of life getting better as a result of just putting down booze and waiting. I think this has the potential to leave some people confused. For many of us, it seems life gets progessively worse when we just put down booze. Then we hear someone state "Just stop drinking. It gets better!" and are left thinking "what's wrong with me?"

My point in writing this is to assure you that there is hope! IMO there is a certain type of alcoholic, the type that is described in the Big Book, whose problem is not alcohol. The main problem of this alcoholic is an intolerable internal condition which is at its worst when not drinking. If I look back at my years in active alcoholism, I can see that I was at my worst when not drinking. My anxiety and depression were full blown. Fear dominated every second of my day. Loved ones irritated the heck out of me. I was unmotivated and performed poorly at work. The list goes on. Things always seemed to get worse and worse until eventually I would break down and take a drink. After a sufficient amount I could usually get to the point of feeling "right" with the world again. Of course in the end getting to that spot where things felt right was much harder to do. Seemed no amount of booze or pills or combination of the two could get me to that point sometimes. But to not drink was unbearable. Drinking was the only solution I ever had. The thought of it not working anymore was frightening.

The point is if I were to quit drinking, Id need a new solution. For me the program and fellowship of AA was just that. It may not be for everyone, but if you are one of those alcoholics like me that is wondering " Ive stopped drinking.why arent things getting better?" Your problem may not be the alcohol. Just know that life can and does get better for millions when they begin to seek a spiritual solution to repalce alcohol.

Rambling completed. thanks!

God bless y'all.

And this...

Mr. SponsorPants: To the Newcomer (or New-again comer): One of the easiest things to forget in sobriety

P

You're right, IMHO. It's not about the drink but something deep within ourselves we must confront, accept, get beyond. AA is not for me. I can't deal with their slogans. Much more serious thought about ourselves is required. Their 60% failure rate shows that much more is required than what they provide.

Good stuff, and great post BB.. :)

And that my friend is sharing your experience , strength , and hope.. To live joyous, happy, and free.. :)

I also need the program to fill that need for the bottle. Everyday this alcoholic has to do something program oriented or I feel wierd.. And for me that stinkin thinkin sure comes out of nowhere.

Thanks again for a wonderful post, and their are no coincidence's.. I needed this today.. :)

Hope to run into you soon.. :)

I can certainly respect that. Its about what works for you. But, I would hate for anyone to think that AA is just the slogans that you hear. The 12 steps are a path to a spiritual way of life of which serious self reflection and thought are a part. I can take or leave the slogans myself.

Ditto.... ^^^^

The AA life is just that, a whole life change. And just striving to be a better human being of maximum service to all is the way..

This spiritual journey has nothing to do with slogans.. ;)

As far as this goes.. There is no real way to get a accurate rate of success...

Also , if you work the program 100 % I will say with as much conviction as the founder's did, that rarely have we seen a person fail, that throughly followed our path..

And if you get 60% failure, I see 40 % success.. ;)

Ya, sheesh! Thanks for posting this, bbthumper. The depression and self-hatred is borderline unbearable still and I'm approaching 6 months. I think working with a sponsor/steps will ease some of this. My 'W' for Willing is still not quite there yet though, not entirely sure why ... Hoping I get there soon.

BBT, Thanks for the OP. I agree whole heartedly. The idea that all one needs to do to stop drinking, is to stop drinking, just does not work for many of us. Telling people that all they need do is ‘make a decision not to drink’ can just serve to induce shame when it does not turn out that way (see the thread in newcomers Body language of recovering alcoholic predicts relapses).

There is more to my not drinking than just not drinking, at least if I want to enjoy life.

Praying for that willingness may be useful for you. How long do you want to hurt?

Wow, I could not agree w/ you more. That was me to a "T" the living problem. Also explains why I with 7 yrs sober but not recovered I was such a mess, I had a form of Godliness but never tapped into the power or even a relationship with my HP. I was a fraud, depressed and hopeless w/out any trust toward an HP whatsoever, and oh, so full of fear. No wonder I picked up again and again and again.

wrong post.

Excellent rant, described it to a T. I can compare my sober time without AA as you described.

CaiHong

Exactly, BBT!

When I didn't get my medicine...yikes, it wasn't pretty. Alcohol was the solution...a poor one at that, but my solution. The big book points to the true solution and that is a design for living that I couldn't get out of any bottle, no matter how fancy it was.

Great post :)