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Touchstones 2/05/13

Tuesday, February 5, 2013 You are reading from the book Touchstones
The human animal needs a freedom seldom mentioned: freedom from intrusion. He needs a little privacy quite as much as he wants understanding or vitamins or exercise or praise.
—Phyllis McGinley

The boundaries between us in our families and our friendships often need to be reshaped in recovery. We need to know our feelings are private. We reveal them at our choosing, with whom we choose. We give up on mind reading or probing because it intrudes upon another's privacy. We actively engage in our relationships by sharing ourselves and listening to each other.

A secret that makes a relationship dishonest is destructive and ought to be told. But we cannot force another person to be honest, or pry the truth from a loved one. We can only be honest ourselves and guard our own right to privacy. Intimacy is the bridge, which is built between two separate people. Only when we let others have their privacy and we take ours can our relationships be more intimate.

I will maintain the boundaries of my privacy today and respect the right of others to do the same.

I want to add that I also can't expect others to read my mind. If I need something or something they did hurts me I can't take for granted that they know or should know because it is up to me to share that with them.
Thanks for the reading.

Quote:

Originally Posted by newby1961 (Post 3805846)

Indeed sharing is sooooo important.. I to can get caught up thinking why someone did or didnt do something,, like they were suppose to know me.. ;)

Quote:

Originally Posted by newby1961 (Post 3805846)

I am so guilty of that but I am becoming aware of doing it. I was pleased with my progress the other day when I stopped myself for getting grouchy when a worker didn't do something that I thought that should have been done. I stopped and thought to myself you are the employer it is up to you to direct her.

I hate being a boss, (I have one part time employee) LOL. I feel uncomfortable with having the power over another person I gravitate between being overly generous and not setting boundaries to being sullenly angry that my unspoken wishes have gone unneeded.
I think I am making progress in this area, the key is self awareness when I am doing it methinks
Caihong