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Touchstones 1/18/2013 Friday, January 18, 2013 You are reading from the book Touchstones Communication leads to community - that is, to understanding, intimacy, and mutual valuing. —Rollo May We have all thought, "If I tell the innermost things about myself, I will be rejected or put down." Most real communication actually creates the opposite of what we fear. In this program, when we lowered our barriers and let our brothers and sisters know us better, they liked us more and our bonds became stronger. Are we concerned today about an intimate relationship? The way to deepen intimacy is to let ourselves be known. When talking about feelings, we need to emphasize those that make us feel most vulnerable. The other side of communication is listening. In listening, our task is to hear without judgment and without trying to provide an answer or a cure for every pain. To express ourselves to others, to be fully understood, and to know we are understood will lift our hope and self esteem. Today, I can make contact with people in my life by revealing my feelings to them and listening to what they are saying. |
this is important for me to read today, as I have been closing off a bit lately, and I can tell, because my listening starts to close off too - they are bound together the two, to me. If I cannot be open and receptive to others, I cannot receive or be available to them either. Simple enough. I spent my drinking days fractured - not letting anyone in on too much information about me and my feelings. I didn't want anyone to get the full picture of me. That is why the 5th step was such a departure for me, in my emotional and spiritual growth. To know that someone knows all of me was important for me, and life changing. But it doesn't end at the 5th step. I need to continue to let others in, risking that I could be hurt, but knowing that the rewards far outweigh the (perceived) risk. Letting others into my world gives me the chance to also get into other people's worlds, and to be connected more to others...something I greatly lacked during my drinking days (and even before that). But the more I close off, the more I squeeze out others and God. I start to think the way I used to before, and start making distinctions and comparisons, which is unhealthy. I pray today that I don't close myself off to others, that I keep an open heart, keep my ears and mind open and that I allow myself to be open to God and others. |
For me the 4 and 5 th steps were fairly easy to do.. I have been talking for years about my behavior openly as my drinking. Which was anytime my eyes were open I had something in me.. Thank god and you great people in AA... That saved this alcoholic from that life which I just barley escaped alive.. :) |
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