Choosing a home group
 

Perhaps some silly questions but here it goes....

How does one go about choosing a home group? Within the last three weeks I have attended 4 different meetings so far (7 actual meetings total....2 of which I will probably be able to attend each week--the others maybe not). I don't have a sponsor yet and haven't worked any step other than the first. (Taking it slowly but surely due to our extreme life circumstances.) I hope to ask someone to be my sponsor within the next month.

Do I actually have to tell someone in the group, "this is my home group now?". Or do I just know it for myself? Also, should the sponsor I ask attend that group or doesn't that matter? If the group only meets once a week that is ok, correct?

(As I type this out I realize I am most likely over thinking it and definitely not keeping it simple. I will work on that.)

Thanks in advance. :)

hi there SS.. i think a home group makes all the difference. i know it did for me. find the meeting that you feel most comfortable at.. home is where you make it!

You'll have to find out the scoop in your area. Here, if you take a BD at the monthly "big" celebrations, you do so at your homegroup. I only vote in group conscience at my homegroup, but I attend other meetings regularly where I have voice.

But the customs vary. This is a good question for your sponsor.

Your home group is where you will do a lot of your service work (making coffee, setting up chairs, greeting, chairing, etc) and where you will attend all the meetings - so if they meet twice a week you will do your very best to be there. It's a place that, once get settled and get to know others, you will be missed if you're not there. By taking on commitments, it helps to ensure that you show up.

As for telling someone in the group, yes, you have to tell the secretary of the group - just ask someone in the group who the secretary is. They will take down your sobriety date and a phone number usually. That's it.

As for the sponsor - it can certainly be from you home group, but it's not gospel. I would say of all the people I know, most of their sponsors are in different home groups. In a sponsor you want someone who has worked the steps, is active in the program and has a sponsor themselves (my opinion at least). You're not looking for a best buddy - you want someone who has what you want, as they say.

Most groups have two meetings a week, or do a double header on one evening. At least in this part of the world. If your home group meets only once a week, that's fine too. Just hit other meetings as well. We all do.

Find a group that you feel comfortable in - some people like larger groups, some like smaller. My personal opinion is to find a group that is literature based (they work out of the big book - not just open topic discussion meetings where you talk about whatever). If you're in a big city or town, you will have lots of options, if you're in a small town, you may not have many.

Regardless, it's important to have a home group. You need a place to be centered in, where you can do service work, where you get to really know others, and where you can settle in when life throws you curve balls, where people know you.

Good luck!

I kept attending different meetings.

Around 7 months in, I found that there was one meeting I refused to miss. I waited a few more months before choosing it as my home group. It also happens to be my sponsor's home group meeting, too.

I did have (and work the steps with) a sponsor before choosing my home group.

Which came first, the sponsor or the home group? The sponsor, of course!

Did I choose the meeting because of my sponsor? Not sure, but that big book meeting is important to me.....

I found a group I liked and it was close by. Now when they ask that home group members raise their hand, mine is one of them. It is the best home group in the area... for me.

:)

Pick a meeting you have access most often and just keep going. Trust your feelings as to whether you're comfortable in the meeting, i.e. the room, the people there, your ability to share honestly. Don't worry about picking a sponsor in a certain time limit. Pray about it and ask your HP to be your guide. Someone will appeal to you by what they say and how they share. Above all, don't panic and rush into something that doesn't fit. You won't have to declare your home group. Most will find out by your attendence and how you participate by showing up for policy making meetings as in how to run the group, changes that come about, etc. Easy Does It. Just suit up and show up. Things will start to fall into place. It doesn't hurt to let people know you're new and looking for a sponsor. Like the old saying goes, "throw stuff at the wall and see what sticks".:herewego

I just chose one meeting a week that I really enjoyed and made a commitment to make that meeting week in and week out no matter what. For me it's the young people's meeting Tuesday nights...It's really up to you to determine your own parameters, though. Just go to as many meetings as possible. Why not! What have you got to lose??

Even before I started the steps I asked HP (higher power) to find out which group should be my home group. Almost immediately I chose one and told the chair person who wrote down my full name, e-mail address etc. Interestingly, although I go to many meetings, this is the group that I feel connected to. We go out for lunches after most meetings, we have parties, it's very fun. My sponsor goes to this meeting. I haven't missed one of my home group meetings since the very beginning. I am committed to it.

I found a lot of benefit joining a group. Early on I joined every group I knew I could attend regularly and got active (showed up early to help set up, stayed late to put away chairs and wash ashtrays, got various jobs).

According to Tradition 3 you don't have to do anything to be a member. IMO you're a member when you identify yourself as such, but you may get more benefit if you deal yourself in and get involved. In my part of the world many people identify themselfs by what group they're a member of "I'm XXX and I'm an alcoholic and a member of the XXXX group". Or when identifying themselves at their home group "I'm an alcoholic and a member of this group"

Seems to vary a bit based on the group and the region. Autonomy offers much variety, but I'd suggest early on, just pick a group you can tolerate and know you can physically make it there every week without exception. If things change down the road for you you can cease membership any time you please or become a member of other groups as the mood takes you.

Today I belong to 1 AA group and 2 NA groups. If I'm with 200 miles of them I'm there every week without exception. I make coffee at one group and am treasurer of another. Belonging to a group or groups helped me early on and still helps me many years later. I am not deviating from what continues to work for me.