I was violently agnostic-- that is, I had no idea if there was a God, and did not pray to one. But my first step experience had put me in a place where I no longer had the luxury of debating and pontificating about the existence of something greater than myself. I needed something. And that's when I asked myself the question--

The interesting thing about that question was that I answered it very firmly: No. So I was clearly agnostic, not atheist. This was something to build on. And all that's required in Step 2 is willingness-- not absolute belief. If I'm willing, I was told, the steps will allow me to find what I need.

Next, I felt I needed some concept of a higher power that wasn't the floating old man in a robe with a staff, sending people to hell or heaven. And again, an idea came to me: goodness.

All my life, I've believed strongly in the power of goodness-- that tangible quality in people when they simply glowed, when they seemed to step out of themselves and radiate. I could always see it in other people, and I knew what it felt like in myself-- when I was unselfish, when I cared about my fellow human, when I did the right thing, I always felt amazing. Time always flew-- I seemed to glide. I wanted more. I talked faster, more clearly, and with more passion. And I thought, maybe we feel that way because that's when we're being directed by something greater than ourselves?

The idea of goodness became the foundation for my belief in something greater than myself. I figured if I could believe in that, and use it as an ideal, I would complete the steps and see what came to me.

And then I stopped drinking, and stopped wanting to drink, and my belief solidified.

And I felt a new clarity-- an understanding about my truth. And I realized that I now believed without a doubt that something greater than me was operating in my life.

And then I felt compelled to talk about it. To go to meetings, to come on this site-- where ever I could-- and share what I had experienced.

There's evidence of something greater than bones and flesh at work in this world. I think it's available to us. We just need to get rid of the stuff that's blocking us off from it.