In long term relationship with a recovering alcoholic. what to expect?
 

About me - I've been in a relationship with an alcoholic for the past 5 years.
About him - has been a pretty heavy drinker for about 12 years. 12+ beer a night with the addition of liquor now and then.. Stopped cold Turkey about 70 days ago one "slip up" with the guys around 45 day mark. None since.
I would just like to know what the withdrawal symptoms are or if any exist at this point. I would like to help with all of ths but He doesn't talk to me or anyone about any of this.. im particularly interested in any sexual side affects that may be going on. Sexlife has become non existant Since January and we are in our late 20's.. is this a side affect??

Hi, and welcome,

You might be better off posting this question over at the Friends and Family Forum. Recovery from alcoholism is a long road, and it tends to be much smoother with the assistance of AA or a similar recovery program. Quitting drinking can result in extreme mood swings, which can certainly affect a person's sex life.

There is really very little you can do to "help" with his recovery. You can suggest AA, and you can attend Al-Anon meetings (to help friends and family of alcoholics to recover from the effects of living with alcoholism) to help with your own recovery.

If he has gone 30 plus days since his last drink, any physical side-effects would be over by now. Psychological side effects are a different matter. If he is not in any kind of support program, the chances of him not picking up again are quite small. Even if he doesn't drink, he is still not in recovery. Recovery consists of not only not drinking, but addressing other issues as well. The non-existent sex life is definitely one of those issues, as is irritability, isolation, depression, restlessness, etc.

You might wish to attend al-anon meetings in order to have your own support.

about the sex thing
from the big book,1st edition
chapter 9 the family afterward,p 139

A word about sex relations. Alcohol is so sexually stimulating to some men that they have over-indulged. Couples are occasionally dismayed to find that when drinking is stopped the man tends to be impotent. Unless the reason is understood, there may be an emotional upset. Some of us had this experience, only to enjoy, in a few months, a finer intimacy than ever. There should be no hesitancy in consulting a doctor or psychologist if the condition persists. We do not know of many cases where this difficulty lasted long.

men usually do not like to speak of this,especially in meetings or in public,but some family's do go thru it.Don`t know if it is temporary or permanent