Justfor1

There is this constant slipper who comes around my AA club that is always borrowing stuff. He actually makes a sly request for money in his comments during the meeting. People don't know what to do and are afraid of him because he is big and an ex-con. I have offered to go threw the book with him except he wasn't interested . He was interested in a few bucks for bus fare. lol Any suggestions?

Veritas1

There is someone like this in my homegroup. Many times the share is about how bad money is needed, utilities being shut off, no food for kids, etc...and the people give money afterwards.

What are you going to do.

If that is what they do, we can't do anything really. It does annoy me because I judge, and think they are using people, but how do I really know what a person's finances are, and so, I just have to let it go.

Am I resentful because I see someone getting something for free that I don't get for free?

Why am I bothered by it?

These are questions I must ask myself.

It's just none of my business, yet I let it bother me?

About your guy...

Maybe he is poor, maybe he needs help, maybe he cannot hold a job, and has no money, maybe he can't get sober...that's why he is there...

or maybe he is someone that uses others for temporary gain...who knows...

I am sure it will run it's course....try and be helpful...what else can we do.

LetsGoJets

If you offered to take him through the Book then you did your part. That's all you are responsible for.

In cases like this, if it happens once, you may be okay with it, but when it's a constant thing I would shut him down....thats just my humble opinion though

Justfor1

It's an every week thing and I'm beginning to suspect that he's just a bum at a meeting.

johndelko408

Wow, there is a guy at my homegroup who is always asking me for cigarettes or money for coffee. At first it didn't bother me giving him a cigarette, but he is always asking for one and for another for later. Well later isn't right after you just finished the one I just gave you. It's rather annoying, I'm not working right now so I'm having enough trouble supporting my own habit let alone his. I don't think he works either but I know he was in the army so I imagine he gets some sort of pension. I sort of hinted to him that he should just quit. I told him that if he can't afford to support his chain smoking habit he should consider quitting. I know I should quit to stop my disgusting habit.

Paraffinalien

We are self supporting through our own contributions. If you want to help finance recovery buy him a bus pass. Giving him cash will just help him avoid hitting bottom sooner. Just my opinion.

BadCompany

If I've got it to give, I give it. I know, I know, the big book says.............., I've bought, meals, packs of smokes, even cartons for some that are institutionalized. I've put groceries in refridgerators. Everything I have is on loan anyway.

CarolD

My non AA neighbor was at my door daily when I first moved
in this government substized apartment.

I stopped this by giving him a pack of cigarettes
and $5.....said 'Until you pay be back...don't come to me for anything"

He never paid me....and he stopped asking...

I'd do the same for this AA guy...set firm boundaries
and let it go.

kilt

Can't the group leader announce at the beginning of the meeting that members may not ask for anything from other members except help with the book. Asking for or giving money or items feeds into codependency so it is not welcome at meetings.

Harsh..probably. My bad.

Tommyh

I learned a long time ago never give a drunk money cause it will go for booze
I will buy them dinner,but won`t give them cash

there is a difference between a hand up and a hand out