Question
 

This time of year we have to be careful of punch drinks etc. at Christmas parties.

last night at a meeting, the woman sharing said, she'd been at a wedding and someone set a drink next to hers and she mistakenly took a drink of it. Turns out, someone had sat a gin and tonic next to her water.

Not sure if, her sponsor had her turn in her coins or not but, this isn't a slip in my mind.

Someone had posted a thread like this already but, I was curious ast to what everyone thought about this!

I don't think it is a slip. She didn't intent to drink it, and it wasn't her fault. As long as she didn't continue to drink it or order her own, she had no control over what her body ingested.

And just to put this out there, I am very careful what I drink when I am out. My new favorite drink while out with friends is cranberry tonics with a lime. This can very closely resemble an alcohol drink, so when the waitress brings to me, I smell it, take a small sip to make sure there is no alcohol in it and swish it in my mouth to make sure I don't taste alcohol before I swallow it. I guess I never truly trust the waitress or the bartender when I can't personally see them make it. Not only that, but every time I order it, the waitress always looks at me weird and asks if I want alcohol in it. I specify no alcohol, but that doesn't mean she always understands. So I am extra careful.

I hope this helps.

I definitely agree. That is not a slip. Perhaps she should be more careful though.

I totally disagree with this. When you're sober, you do have control over what you ingest. I haven't had even a small sip of booze in 5 years and 10 months and 28 days. Not a sip! So this idea of worring about changing my sobriety date is not an issue! I also wouldn't stick my hand on a hot stove because that would be ********. That would be insane. I am sane today and that's your responsibility. No one elses. This is the 12 Step Support subforum and we do 12 steps over here.

I used to quit drinking quite a bit prior to A.A. I'd mistakenly grab that rum and coke over my straight coke and it would be experiment over... or "off the wagon now!"

God gave us 5 obvious senses and put one of them right next to our mouth. It's called a nose. This particular organ will give you much control over what you ingest and when you're a recovered alcoholic who has done the 12 Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous, you just don't mistakenly grab for that gin and tonic somehow.

That's my experience.

If you have to, bring your own mug with you.

http://i127.photobucket.com/albums/p...1207090901.jpg

She didn't order the drink someone set it where she had hers. She didn't finish the drink.

This might be where the to thine own self be true comes from.

A friend of mine in AA who is 23 years sober, went out to a dance for a special occasion about 8 weeks ago, she made it clear to the bartender that she wanted a non-alcoholic cocktail...checking over and over again. She remembered that it had mint in it so asked for the recipe next time she was at said venue, turns out it did have a green mint liquor in it! She told everyone about this and has not counted it as a slip...i think this is really down to the individual...although she was very stupid to have done this IMO as i told her!

The only thing that would make that story any worse is if it happened to me instead of her.

In all friendliness, I disagree with McGowdog. I understand that you need to be responsible for what you drink at all times. However, it is not her fault that she accidentally drank the alcohol. Possibly, and I mean POSSIBLY a touch or irresponsibility, but certainly not her fault or her intentions. I mean, it is like a car accident. You didn't mean for it to happen, but sometimes they do. Maybe "the car accident" happened as a result of letting your guard down, drifting off, etc. and hopefully the lesson has been learned and it doesn't happen again.

I understand that for some people this could ignite a fire in them and lead them back to drinking, and hopefully this is not the case. I hope she has learned a lesson to be more careful and it doesn't happen again. As far as turning her chips in and starting over, absolutely not. It is like a smoker accidentally walking into a room someone is smoking in and then having to tell everyone he started smoking again. Hardly the case.

That's fine.

Carlos Castaneda asked Don Juan Matus what he would do if he was driving along the highway and encountered someone standing under the bridge and spraying bullets at the cars passing by.

Don Juan said, "I wouldn't be there."

Carlos reiterated, "But what if you had no choice?"

Don Juan reiterated, "I wouldn't be there."

So... you are disagreeing with a state of mind. Get recovered and you'll understand.

I meant to tell her in cases like this perhaps it's best to bring a bottle of water or soda to be sure. Old timer last night was saying he's not going to even drink punch even if, they say it's alcohol free due to the fact, someone might think it funny to spike it.

I will be the first to admit that I am very new to recovery, and have a long ways to go and so much to learn from people like you who have taken the steps and applied them in all areas of life for years. I look up to people like you and love learning from people with your experience.

Although i was under the impression we never "get recovered" and we are always "recovering?"

And I guess in your friends situation Captain, she needs to toss in her chips, start completely over with a new sobriety date? Is that we you are saying McGowdog?

I heard a story about Big Frank once. He went to a Christmas party where there were many recovered AAs and the wife of one of them made some cookies... similar to rum balls I guess... and sure enough, they had tons of liqueur or brandy in them.

Frank got ahold of one and once he bit into the thing... he spit the thing out right there on the floor. I heard he was NOT happy. The husband of that lady had a talking to as well.

That's what I heard anyway.

Bdiddy: No, I'm not saying she would lose her sobriety. I'm just saying don't even let it happen! Don't risk it. Be careful.

I'm not coming from a place of holier than thou either. This is what I'VE been shown. This is what is expected of me.

I come from a lineage of sponsorship that takes the Big Book verbatim. In that book it says right there in its own title page, "The Story of How Many Thousands of Men and Women Have Recovered from Alcoholism"

Big Frank was sort of my grand sponsor and he said, "Those who say they are recovering aren't. They are telling you this program does not work, they are less than they are, and that they take no responsibility for their lives. If they screw you over, it's because they are sick. Who can argue with 'I'm sick'? If I lie to you today, it's because I'm a liar. It's not because I've had too much to drink." This guy died with about 40 years of sobriety and when he started into A.A. in 1966, he said there were very few in A.A. doing the 12 steps. He set out to change that.

It's for that reason I do not say, "Recovering".

I guess just a difference in our groups/meetings. The ones I go to, at the beginning we all introduce ourselves by saying "name, alcoholic." We don't say "name, former alcohol" or anything to that sorts. We are all alcoholics whether past or present. I guess for that reason I feel we are never "recovered" but we are "recovering."

Do I believe that to drink alcohol is to die? Do I really think that I have a reaction to alcohol which could kick off a craving for more and start the vicious circle all over again?

Yes.

I know people who are allergic to peanuts, they don't accidentally ingest peanuts or the by-products of peanuts....

I guess going to a christmas party, social gathering, bar, pool hall or anywhere there is a scant chance of me accidentally getting gin into my system...then I have to be extra careful (ie - bring my OWN bottle of water).

Her sobriety date? turning in chips? If that is what being sober is all about, or is the mark of my sobriety...then take my chips and use any date you like. None of my business if she thinks this is a relapse or not...but my suggestion would be to review her motives for being in a situation like that in the first place...

;)


btw - the AA I know leads one to "recover" from alcoholism, not be relegated to a life of "recovering"...

Recovered ≠ cured. (See page page 85, 2nd paragraph, 3rd sentence, 3rd and 4th words)

Some one once said that chips are mostly for newcommers (in one of our forums here). To me as this relates to the 12 steps I think it's a message of individual responsibility and fidelity to that individuals commitment to not drinking. Chips are nice and indicate actual time with out booz; but in no way do they reflect the said individuals internal growth/ quality of working the steps etc. To me if you order a drink that is usually made with alcohol you KNOW on some level there is a chance its virgin aspect will get lost in translation. You also know that any alcohol consumed can be a trigger for a "slip" or relapse. I wonder if this sort of behavior is part of the cunning baffeling mysterious aspect of alcoholism. Denial and unnecessary risk taking rearing it head? That being said part of recover is learning to live life sober period. Many immerse themselves exclusively within the aa community for a while and accordingly increase their chances of a much better life. I think it boils to to a person being honest with themselves as far as doing whatever it takes (going to any lengths) to make it work. The specific method probably is a little different for all of us ( even when being completely honest with ourselves). That being said, I choose to order club soda with lime when I go ou exclusively. I have intentionally had sips of others alcoholic drinks from time to time; and reflecting back on the fact that I have relapsed in the past after really understanding step 1 have choosen not to go there again. Ultimately it matters little how others judge as it relates to me not drinking; only the advise of those who I respect and have something I want and who have choosen the be giving with me by calling me on my own bs matters. I've notices in month 5 that when I relax in a bar or a restaurant, I feel the same loose fun feelings that I used to feel when I drank eventhough I feel edgier initially.

Actually, this happened to my nieces daughter at the local D.Q. some residue etc. from peanuts got on what ever it was she ordered! The parents had to rush her to the hospital right after that :(

Sounds like she learned a valuable, gratitued-filled lesson.

Peace & Love,
Sugah

Agreed, they take extra special precautions NOT to ingest them, the same way an alcoholic should address alcohol.

However, many products that contain peanuts or a peanut product have stated right on the label or a sign in the restaurant that say something to the effect of "this product is manufactured in the vicinity of peanut products" or something like that.

I highly doubt her glass of water had that label.

Whatever. We are not even addressing the issue at hand which is why this post was started. It is people that feel they have all the answers and belittle us newcomers for even attempting to offer an opinion/suggestion because we know some "know it all" will come along and just make us feel stupid.

The issue is: she accidentally took a sip of alcohol. Get past it, be more careful, and don't let it happen again. I hope this didn't lead her to a bender, or a slip. One day at a time. If she has to turn her chips in, etc. oh well. How she feels about it and the steps she takes are what is important.

So just a disclaimer everyone. **Unless you know the BigBook word for word and have at least 2 years of sobriety, don't bother posting here because someone will make you feel like an idiot!

(DQ = Dairy Queen?? I am assuming)

Right. I know someone who ate a peice of pie where the same knife was used to cut another pie which had some peanut product..result was the ER.

My guess is that family is going to be extra careful from now on.

I guess in a way it's just awareness. My girlfriend is vegan and unless she is completely duped/tricked - never eats anything that has a chance of any animal products...this means things like >Bringing her own food to holiday dinners >Bringing her own cookware to heat it

She is very careful...and it's not a matter of life/death...