SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information (https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/)
-   Alcoholism-12 Step Support (https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/alcoholism-12-step-support/)
-   -   GRRR service work (https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/alcoholism-12-step-support/181858-grrr-service-work.html)

CAPTAINZING2000 08-05-2009 08:11 PM

GRRR service work
 
Our area AA usually has 3 speaker-get togethers a year. Memorial Day, Labot Day and Christmas.


I'd held off on mentioning Labor Day is coming up to let someone else come forward. A guy did bring it up at the meetings. I asked every one last Thursday to stay over for a group conscience/ business meeting over the Labor Day picnic. Two other guys stayed mostly to help me clean up after the meeting.

Doing a little venting over this. The guy that, brought up the labor Day speaker picnic and I did get together before a meeting tonight and made up a list for people to sign up to bring for the picnic. I'm not too sure, how many signed up to bring something at the meeting tonight, the guy left before, I had a chance to ask him.


This is a we program. There has been a time at our Christmas party where, I had to make numerous trips cause, people signed up to bring things and didn't show up. I know, some are sicker then others, I'm not wanting to have resentments over this.

I learned first thing in this program to do service work to help ensure my sobriety. When, my friend and I was talking about this before the meeting, we decided to try and get a committee going well enough in advance to relieve both of us from having to carry the burden by ourselves.

Having a smaller AA community is a blessing and a curse. A get together outside of a normal AA meeting shouldn't rest entirely upon 2 or 3 people. I know, AA is not all inclusive in this. Several groups I've been in this seemed to be the case

Suggestions or comments?

Astro 08-05-2009 08:47 PM

Sorry Cap, I'm part of a large group and we always seem to have an excess of people who donate, we never want for anything at our picnics or other functions. I've also been a part of a small Celebrate Recovery group, every week we each brought something small and had a fine "meeting after the meeting" with plenty of food.

I hate to sound smug about this, but sometimes it comes down to "if you want something done right you might have to do it yourself". Our large group has an appointed "entertainment committee", for our picnics they do the shopping and provide enough food and beverages for all, and without fail half of the people who come bring a donation. They also handle our holiday meals. As for the smaller meetings I've chaired where we had snacks for "birthday night", I've just picked up enough food for everyone to have a small plateful, I try not to have expectations, and I've never felt too let down.

I hope you find a peaceful and serene solution to this. I'm sure it's a little frustrating :wild

CAPTAINZING2000 08-05-2009 08:51 PM

It can be overwhelming to try an accommodate 60 to 80 some people when, just a couple people are doing all the work.

Short of just picking on people to help out which, might work.

I'm not trying to second guess and say people are lazy, maybe just unsure how to help!!

Astro 08-05-2009 08:53 PM

Do you have a budget that might allow you to have someone cater the event, just set up an informal buffet line?

CAPTAINZING2000 08-05-2009 09:00 PM

Hey, that's an idea, I can use for our Christmas party. That just might work:)

thanks

Astro 08-05-2009 09:13 PM

2 years ago I chaired our Clubs monthly B-Day Night meeting. Huge crowd, the meeting was preceded by a dinner. I'd arrive 2 hours before dinnertime, set up buffet tables and cut the cakes, put out serving utensils, make sure there were plenty of paper plates, napkins, plastic forks, etc.

One hour before the meal, when the regular AA meeting started I'd ask for volunteers to serve food. Without fail I always had enough. It was a lot of work, but a very fun 12 month commitment.

What made it easiest.......a guy from the program owned an Italian deli less than a block away. They brought in all the food at a discounted price, the meals were fantastic. So all I had to deal with was set-up and clean-up, and there were always a few people willing to be of service and help.

Maybe you could check with local businesses to see if they can offer you a deal, even if you had to go pick up trays of food?

CAPTAINZING2000 08-05-2009 10:04 PM

There are several places in the area to choose from. That, never entered my mind until, you suggested it though. Funny thing, we're having a meal catered for our area assembly here in Sept.

Duh, slap me an call me stupid

stone 08-05-2009 10:10 PM

Or you could be in Liverpool, England.

NO speaker get togethers.

NO picnics.

NO entertainment committee....no entertainment.

NO meals.

NO parties.

NO nothing!


Apart from that, I do sympathise with your situation, Cap. :)

barb dwyer 08-05-2009 10:10 PM

funny how stuff kinda works out, huh?

CAPTAINZING2000 08-05-2009 10:26 PM


Originally Posted by stone (Post 2321368)
Or you could be in Liverpool, England.

NO speaker get togethers.

NO picnics.

NO entertainment committee....no entertainment.

NO meals.

NO parties.

NO nothing!


Apart from that, I do sympathise with your situation, Cap. :)

Have you ever tried to get things like this done?

I'd of left AA long time ago if, it was just meetings. I enjoy the company of most members outside the rooms of AA

CAPTAINZING2000 08-05-2009 10:29 PM


Originally Posted by barb dwyer (Post 2321369)
funny how stuff kinda works out, huh?


You're right

I fret too much over this. Some day, I won't be there someone will have to step up.

I've even tried to have someone take over for me handling the money for my Thursday night group. grr That, didn't turn out too well either

barb dwyer 08-05-2009 11:20 PM

LOL!

I showed this thread to the friend who is letting me use his comupter - HE said, you need more al-anons in your group.

FOTFLMAO!

stone 08-05-2009 11:28 PM


Originally Posted by barb dwyer (Post 2321399)
LOL!

I showed this thread to the friend who is letting me use his comupter - HE said, you need more al-anons in your group.

FOTFLMAO!

:lmao

stone 08-05-2009 11:30 PM


Originally Posted by CAPTAINZING2000 (Post 2321379)
Have you ever tried to get things like this done?

I have not, I have been in and out of AA for two years so not really been in a position to.

tommyk 08-06-2009 05:55 AM

"A get together outside of a normal AA meeting shouldn't rest entirely upon 2 or 3 people."

No offense...

Who says it shouldn't... you?

Who decides what 'should' be...?

Life on life's terms often means we don't get OUR own way, we get a Higher Power's way, right?

My own ES&H suggests turning it over and letting go of control. Show up, do what you can, give it your best. :)

FightingIrish 08-06-2009 06:07 AM

Maybe you could reverse the clauses of that sentence?


Originally Posted by stone (Post 2321407)
I have not, I have been in and out of AA for two years so not really been in a position to.


FightingIrish 08-06-2009 06:11 AM

Doing service can be fraught with potential resentments if I am not careful. My group has recently committed to taking outgoings out to other groups and halfway houses and such. It always feels like I am one of a handful raising my hand. Tonight for instance I am having great difficulty finding anyone with more than a year of sobriety who is willing to go speak for ten minutes at this halfway house commitment. My ego gets in the way often (as you can see) and then I start judging others and quickly become a bleeding deacon (is that possible with 23 months??) My black and white mind see two options: be a martyr or decide that I'm not going to be the only doing anything so thus don't raise my hand for a year. (Actually, both qualify me for martyrdom...)

laurie6781 08-06-2009 06:25 AM

Chris, to expand on what Firehazard said, how long have you been doing these 'fun parties'?

I suspect, because we alkies and get very complacent, VERY, that everybody just figures Chris will do it.

How about saying "NO I cannot do this, this time, someone else will have to do it." Then sit back and watch. See how committed the rest of your group is and if the Labor Day Picnic gets canceled for 'lack of others commitment' then so be it. It will give them something to think about.

When something we are doing in 'being of service' starts giving us resentments, it is time to change our 'service commitments'.

Maybe its time to 'allow' others to 'be of service' also.

J M H O

Love and hugs,

Tommyh 08-06-2009 07:11 AM

what Laurie said is good
here is one other suggestion which has worked in our cases sometimes
((don`t ask a alcoholic to do something-most won`t...))
tell them,hay,you`re in charge of the coffee...you`re in charge of the setting up of tables etc
the approach is everything sometimes

we have had Christmas parties in the past where we got a caterer and had a signup sheet to signup and one or two AA`S took up the money for the Christmas dinner(we had a deadline too)...8 bucks a head,if you wanted to come and was broke,the group or a person sprung for the meal for you

Jfanagle 08-06-2009 08:12 AM

6 years ago when I was a few years sober and getting complacent about meetings, but was very active as an officer in GSO work and heavily involved in District type service I had a grand idea that I "was cured" and a drink was in order. The only reason I didn't follow that brilliant line of thinking was that I didn't want to have to admit to my fellow service workers that I was no longer a sober alcoholic and therefore disqualified to serve based on the criteria that was suggested by District.

My point of this rambling story is that SERVICE allowed me to still be sober 6 years later. Being "overworked" has all the benefits that those much smarter than me promised me it would have.

Keep being the "one" that everyone expects to shoulder the burden and best wishes!

Jon


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 04:23 PM.