Alcoholic , Many many addictions
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 1
Alcoholic , Many many addictions
Hi All
I'm an alcoholic, and can qualify for a myriad of other addictions/compulsive behaviors and their recovery progarams. Honestly!!! I dont say it to boast or bemoan, but i wonder what others experience strength and hope have been in these areas.
The list would be : sex, food, gambling, drugs, fantasy and rage, and relationships (some extreme codependcy)
Rage is under control with God's help and work on my part, the other 3 crop up when i start to take my will back as i invetitably do
I;m working the steps, am in my 11th month of recovery ( THIRD time in AA since 1996 after 5 years out drinking this time)
most sobriety i've had in the previous 2 times was 2 years 10 months.
my sponsor knows these things, and suggests outside help if they become problematic!!
i cant go to a different meeting for every "addiction" .. theres not enough days in the week!!
I'm checking in here to see if anyone has had similar experience, and how they've recovered. These other "outside issues" directly affect/jeopardize my alcohol sobriety as they carry the same dishonesty, guilt, shame , remorse terror , bewilderment, frustration and dispair that alcohlism carries
I took the nick StepCix, because i am entirely ready , i NEEDAND WANT to stay sober (because i know in my heart i probably wont make it back), and i want these other defects/addictions/survival tools removed as they block me off from God.
Please dont scoff or think i'm exagerrating these other problems, they're very real and i DESPERATELY want to be rid of them .. i feel them block me off from my AA friends and God and they scare me..
Help and suggestions deseperately wanted
thanks
I'm an alcoholic, and can qualify for a myriad of other addictions/compulsive behaviors and their recovery progarams. Honestly!!! I dont say it to boast or bemoan, but i wonder what others experience strength and hope have been in these areas.
The list would be : sex, food, gambling, drugs, fantasy and rage, and relationships (some extreme codependcy)
Rage is under control with God's help and work on my part, the other 3 crop up when i start to take my will back as i invetitably do
I;m working the steps, am in my 11th month of recovery ( THIRD time in AA since 1996 after 5 years out drinking this time)
most sobriety i've had in the previous 2 times was 2 years 10 months.
my sponsor knows these things, and suggests outside help if they become problematic!!
i cant go to a different meeting for every "addiction" .. theres not enough days in the week!!
I'm checking in here to see if anyone has had similar experience, and how they've recovered. These other "outside issues" directly affect/jeopardize my alcohol sobriety as they carry the same dishonesty, guilt, shame , remorse terror , bewilderment, frustration and dispair that alcohlism carries
I took the nick StepCix, because i am entirely ready , i NEEDAND WANT to stay sober (because i know in my heart i probably wont make it back), and i want these other defects/addictions/survival tools removed as they block me off from God.
Please dont scoff or think i'm exagerrating these other problems, they're very real and i DESPERATELY want to be rid of them .. i feel them block me off from my AA friends and God and they scare me..
Help and suggestions deseperately wanted
thanks
Member
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: The Swish Alps, SF CA
Posts: 2,144
For me, and other friends with some "crossover" I approached it with a "one day at a time" mentality.
First I found an AA sponsor who's experience closely matched my own, truthfully with a good sponsor who has "experience" with most of my "issues" I have found I hit a "myriad" of issues working the steps with them, nearly all quite frankly.
Next I took a look at what was most problematic and worked on that (in my case relationships) and what I used was a therapist.
After that what came up was codependency then I addressed that with a twelve step program, my sponsor, other alcoholics with experience with codependency coming here in "Friends and Family" and studying literature diligently.
AA is at my "core" of my recovery, first and foremost I am an alcoholic, If I don't have sobriety I have no chance with other issues, so for me that's my focus, and truthfully by working the steps with one sponsor and then another I was able to hit "stuff" I missed with my first sponsor, I am now going through the steps a seventh time with my fifth sponsor but thats after being around for nearly 17 years.
I am by no means not saying "don't get outside help" because I needed to, if you need to do so, I am saying by looking carefully for the right sponsor I was able to hit most of my issues in AA.
Many people I know have either done AA and Alanon, or AA and SLAA, or AA and OA and many folks I know with long term sobriety have also gone to therapy.
"Alcohol was but a symptom" the Big Book writes, so that means "the problem" was me, so I dealt with my alcoholism then got down to brass tacks and addressed "the problem" not covered by AA.
First I found an AA sponsor who's experience closely matched my own, truthfully with a good sponsor who has "experience" with most of my "issues" I have found I hit a "myriad" of issues working the steps with them, nearly all quite frankly.
Next I took a look at what was most problematic and worked on that (in my case relationships) and what I used was a therapist.
After that what came up was codependency then I addressed that with a twelve step program, my sponsor, other alcoholics with experience with codependency coming here in "Friends and Family" and studying literature diligently.
AA is at my "core" of my recovery, first and foremost I am an alcoholic, If I don't have sobriety I have no chance with other issues, so for me that's my focus, and truthfully by working the steps with one sponsor and then another I was able to hit "stuff" I missed with my first sponsor, I am now going through the steps a seventh time with my fifth sponsor but thats after being around for nearly 17 years.
I am by no means not saying "don't get outside help" because I needed to, if you need to do so, I am saying by looking carefully for the right sponsor I was able to hit most of my issues in AA.
Many people I know have either done AA and Alanon, or AA and SLAA, or AA and OA and many folks I know with long term sobriety have also gone to therapy.
"Alcohol was but a symptom" the Big Book writes, so that means "the problem" was me, so I dealt with my alcoholism then got down to brass tacks and addressed "the problem" not covered by AA.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Welcome to SR...
I've used God...AA...Al anon...therapy...and SMART recovery
at different times in the past for various problems.
I found all these benefited my recovery...
Good to see a new member
I've used God...AA...Al anon...therapy...and SMART recovery
at different times in the past for various problems.
I found all these benefited my recovery...
Good to see a new member
God's Kid
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 1,820
Welcome.
I can relate to what your saying and also what you probably haven't which is that sometimes even though the 12 steps are the same in all 12 step fellowships sometimes there appears to be a 'crossover'.
I.e. Al Anon says take care of yourself and AA says go and help someone else.
While I am an AAer I have also spent time in Al Anon (still do), NA and SLAA (Sex and Love Addicts Anon).
What I try to do is lump all my crazy behavior/thoughts/actions in to one pile and label it, 'not for use.' For example, I know that when I am not feeling good about myself, I have a tendency to want to get into a relationship to make me feel better. So I haven't (as yet) got into a relationship when I have felt like this.
Another way of wording it is I try and stay vigilant which at times can start to feel boring, but then it is better to be bored than dead or at the very least in a ton of emotional pain.
Like someone else suggested, I found it helpful to seek out people who are also dealing with the same issues as me so we can fellowship. It doesn't have to be a sponsor either. I've found that with all this other stuff talking to other people who are on the same journey probably more helpful than a 'diff' sponsor for each issue. You may even surprise yourself and make some friends!
Take it easy
Liz
I can relate to what your saying and also what you probably haven't which is that sometimes even though the 12 steps are the same in all 12 step fellowships sometimes there appears to be a 'crossover'.
I.e. Al Anon says take care of yourself and AA says go and help someone else.
While I am an AAer I have also spent time in Al Anon (still do), NA and SLAA (Sex and Love Addicts Anon).
What I try to do is lump all my crazy behavior/thoughts/actions in to one pile and label it, 'not for use.' For example, I know that when I am not feeling good about myself, I have a tendency to want to get into a relationship to make me feel better. So I haven't (as yet) got into a relationship when I have felt like this.
Another way of wording it is I try and stay vigilant which at times can start to feel boring, but then it is better to be bored than dead or at the very least in a ton of emotional pain.
Like someone else suggested, I found it helpful to seek out people who are also dealing with the same issues as me so we can fellowship. It doesn't have to be a sponsor either. I've found that with all this other stuff talking to other people who are on the same journey probably more helpful than a 'diff' sponsor for each issue. You may even surprise yourself and make some friends!
Take it easy
Liz
Member
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 1,861
i cant go to a different meeting for every "addiction" .. theres not enough days in the week!!
The pamphlet, problems other than alcohol says:
Suppose, though, that we are approached by a drug addict who nevertheless has had a genuine alcoholic history. There was a time when such a person would have been rejected. Many early AAs had the almost comical notion that they were "pure alcoholics" -- guzzlers only, no other serious problems at all. When alcoholic "ex-cons" and drug users first turned up there was much pious indignation. "What will people think?" chanted the pure alcoholics. Happily, this foolishness has long since evaporated.
Awaiting Email Confirmation
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 2,942
Welcome StepCix, you and I have a lot in common.
Narcotics Anonymous (NA) addresses the disease of addiction, and in my opinion - the disease of 'obsession' - that seems to make 'MORE' of everything appear enticing.
Maybe check it out.
Narcotics Anonymous (NA) addresses the disease of addiction, and in my opinion - the disease of 'obsession' - that seems to make 'MORE' of everything appear enticing.
Maybe check it out.
Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
Welcome to SR StepCix, I am one of the lucky ones, when I was drinking all of what you mentioned was a small part of my problem, my primary issue was alcohol, as a result once through the steps I was able to address those problems remaining and overcome them.
That being said I will again say I was one of the lucky ones, several of my sponsee's although dealing well with their alcoholism and finding a degree of releif from other issues are working on those issues with therapist or another 12 step program. AA says right in the BB that we should seek outside help where needed, my sponsee's are actively doing so and find that thier sobriety is the key to them being able to work out solutions in the other areas of their lifes with out side help.
That being said I will again say I was one of the lucky ones, several of my sponsee's although dealing well with their alcoholism and finding a degree of releif from other issues are working on those issues with therapist or another 12 step program. AA says right in the BB that we should seek outside help where needed, my sponsee's are actively doing so and find that thier sobriety is the key to them being able to work out solutions in the other areas of their lifes with out side help.
One Day At A Time
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: England
Posts: 357
Hi Stepchix
I've got issues with Food, Sex, Relationships, Self-harm and medication.
I've looked at other fellowships, but AA feels 'right' for me, and is my only fellowship at the moment.
I chose my sponsor carefully - she has understanding of some, but not all, of my problems. We discussed sponsorship, and decided that if I felt I needed outside help with other issues, I would seek it, but that I should always have one person who I am fully accountable to. There was a risk of me having a sponsor for each problem, and not letting anyone see the full and completely real me. I can talk openly with my sponsor about the problems I have that she doesn't have experience of, and if she can't help she will point me in the direction of someone who can. While I only have the one sponsor, it is important for me to have contact and identification with other people who share the same issues.
I feel comfortable being in just one fellowship now. Sometimes when I'm listening to someone share, it'll relate more to one of my problems than to alcohol.
I've got issues with Food, Sex, Relationships, Self-harm and medication.
I've looked at other fellowships, but AA feels 'right' for me, and is my only fellowship at the moment.
I chose my sponsor carefully - she has understanding of some, but not all, of my problems. We discussed sponsorship, and decided that if I felt I needed outside help with other issues, I would seek it, but that I should always have one person who I am fully accountable to. There was a risk of me having a sponsor for each problem, and not letting anyone see the full and completely real me. I can talk openly with my sponsor about the problems I have that she doesn't have experience of, and if she can't help she will point me in the direction of someone who can. While I only have the one sponsor, it is important for me to have contact and identification with other people who share the same issues.
I feel comfortable being in just one fellowship now. Sometimes when I'm listening to someone share, it'll relate more to one of my problems than to alcohol.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Pugetopolis
Posts: 2,384
First off, Alcoholics Anonymous is a fellowship for alcoholics to recover from alcoholism.
Like many here, I came to AA with many problems. I had been a drug user at one time, and although I had not used any drugs for several years I thought I was a drug addict. Turns out I'm not. I had problems with sex. I had problems with spending money. One problem I've never had is gambling. I'm too cheap to gamble-LOL!
I think it was Chuck Chamberlain that said that there is one problem that encompasses all problems and one solution that encompasses all solutions. When I first addressed my alcoholism and took the steps based on that foundation of truth, in other words when I addressed the spiritual root of the problem, my other problems have disappeared. All of the above problems are obsessions of the mind. Obsessions with self, with seeking comfort. The obsession to drink is really just an obsession with self. So when I address the root problem, which is self-centeredness, the problem is solved.
Be careful not to fragment yourself. I've seen many people that are all over the map and frankly some of them are a mess. Find out what your real problem is and address that.
Jim
Like many here, I came to AA with many problems. I had been a drug user at one time, and although I had not used any drugs for several years I thought I was a drug addict. Turns out I'm not. I had problems with sex. I had problems with spending money. One problem I've never had is gambling. I'm too cheap to gamble-LOL!
I think it was Chuck Chamberlain that said that there is one problem that encompasses all problems and one solution that encompasses all solutions. When I first addressed my alcoholism and took the steps based on that foundation of truth, in other words when I addressed the spiritual root of the problem, my other problems have disappeared. All of the above problems are obsessions of the mind. Obsessions with self, with seeking comfort. The obsession to drink is really just an obsession with self. So when I address the root problem, which is self-centeredness, the problem is solved.
Be careful not to fragment yourself. I've seen many people that are all over the map and frankly some of them are a mess. Find out what your real problem is and address that.
Jim
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Birmingham, AL
Posts: 1,924
Originally Posted by jimhere 
One problem I've never had is gambling. I'm too cheap to gamble-LOL!
Good thread. At some point in my process of surrender, I had to sit down with pen and paper and look at my life. Luckily, I had a man willing to guide me who suggested that writing honestly would shed light on my recurrent denial. What was my primary problem, issue or situation? For me it was Alcoholism; everything else stemmed from this affliction and all of the other issues and problems could all be traced back to my powerlessness over booze. If I addressed the Alcoholism as outlined in the Book, I would be addressing the other issues at the same time.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Alaska
Posts: 41
I brought several other addictions with me when I joined AA and because I didn't trust anyone here I sought outside help in the form of a therapist. I saw her for two years and found that I had more problems through therapy than I did before I went. It took me 7 years in AA to recover from the two I spent in therapy.
During this time I had friends with other addictions, some of whom attended other 12 step groups, some many different ones, and was considering trying some myself. I asked a man with 27 years of sobriety (which was forever to me with less than one) what he thought of someone who went to a different 12 step group for every addiction. He said "That sounds like a person who wants to stay sick". Although I was a little disheartened because I was afraid and really didn't think anyone here would understand, I decided to stay with AA only. By saying that he helped me straighten up and focus on the 12steps.
Had I spread myself around to feel more comfortable I would never have had to share my complete story with one someone, thereby allowing me an out. I didn't need and out, I needed God and the only way I've found Him available is in letting go. My oldtimer friend helped funnel me to the 12 steps that showed me how to identify and let go of everything that blocked my connection to God.
I wasn't too happy with him then, but I'm grateful for that man today. Funny how that happens.
During this time I had friends with other addictions, some of whom attended other 12 step groups, some many different ones, and was considering trying some myself. I asked a man with 27 years of sobriety (which was forever to me with less than one) what he thought of someone who went to a different 12 step group for every addiction. He said "That sounds like a person who wants to stay sick". Although I was a little disheartened because I was afraid and really didn't think anyone here would understand, I decided to stay with AA only. By saying that he helped me straighten up and focus on the 12steps.
Had I spread myself around to feel more comfortable I would never have had to share my complete story with one someone, thereby allowing me an out. I didn't need and out, I needed God and the only way I've found Him available is in letting go. My oldtimer friend helped funnel me to the 12 steps that showed me how to identify and let go of everything that blocked my connection to God.
I wasn't too happy with him then, but I'm grateful for that man today. Funny how that happens.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
