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Helping the alcoholic.... Unless your friend wants to talk further about himself, do not wear out your welcome. Give him a chance to think it over. If you do stay, let him steer the conversation in any direction he likes. Sometimes a new man is anxious to proceed at once, and you may be tempted to let him do so. This is sometimes a mistake. If he has trouble later, he is likely to say you rushed him. You will be most successful with alcoholics if you do not exhibit any passion for crusade or reform. Never talk down to an alcoholic from any moral or spiritual hilltop, simply lay out the kit of spiritual tools for his inspection. Show him how they worked with you. Offer him friendship and fellowship. Tell him that if he wants to get well you will do anything to help. If he is not interested in your solution, if he expects you to act only as a banker for his financial difficulties or nurser for his sprees, you may have to drop him until he changes his mind. This he may do after he gets hurt some more. Just as God comes to us when we can do nothing but take. We forgive our prospect. We give of ourselves first Realizing that our prospect is capable only of taking we ask for nothing. We know that our prospect will discover the tremedous benefits of helping others as part of recovery from alcoholism. Many of us experience repeated post-spree calls from a remorseful alcoholic. Though for awhile they feel terrible and are full of contrition soon they are feeling better and see no reason to adopt such a drastic solution as the one we offer. We hear no more from them until they once again emerge from a spree. This can be a tedious process. Many alcoholics, dry for now, fail to work the steps. They call their sponsors repeatedly with relationship, marital, work related and financial problems. They are under the mistaken impression that the temporary relief we get from talking about our problems is in some way dealing successfully with them. We only harm them by allowing them to hide from their problems by talking raterht thatn taking the necessary actions and working the steps. All we can do is to remind these unfortunate souls of where the solution to all their probles lie. |
This is a pay it forward program. I mentioned tonight of picking up alcoholics taking them to meetings and hearing them say when, they got their D.L. back, they'd do the same for others. Sadly, many never return. We cast out seeds of the program. Some seeds go on hard barren ground, some our over taken by weeds. Once in a while, we get lucky and the seed takes root. |
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