Sexual predators (or predators of any type) in AA.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Before my noon meeting ....I did discuss this thread
with the 4 other early arrivals.
This has been my home group for 9+ years.
To my knowledge...and Yes! I would know
we have had 1 man and 3 women that did
try to prey on newcomers.
4 members...1 moved away.
3 settled down into long term relationships
How did we ...as a group.... deal with this?
We older members take responsibility.
Their sponsors were alerted
to inappropiate actions.
We made certain newcomers knew
to avoid private contact
We sit next to new members in meetings.
Phone lists are given ...men for men women for women.
There is absolutely no opposite sex sponsorship.
Welcome to Paulding Co. AA!
with the 4 other early arrivals.
This has been my home group for 9+ years.
To my knowledge...and Yes! I would know
we have had 1 man and 3 women that did
try to prey on newcomers.
4 members...1 moved away.
3 settled down into long term relationships
How did we ...as a group.... deal with this?
We older members take responsibility.
Their sponsors were alerted
to inappropiate actions.
We made certain newcomers knew
to avoid private contact
We sit next to new members in meetings.
Phone lists are given ...men for men women for women.
There is absolutely no opposite sex sponsorship.
Welcome to Paulding Co. AA!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 1,697
"There is no opposite sex sponosorship"
Is the group laying out rules on sponsorship?
I have seen many opposite sex sponosor-sponsee recoveries. Our foundation does not specify.
There was a great thread on Sex Ideal - and for some reason it got locked down without explanation, but - if we, as members have a healthy and sane sex ideal based on what God would have us do, gender need not hinder recovery.
Thank God that a man took a woman through the steps way back when, or no women would be able to be members - it would be male-only.
Is the group laying out rules on sponsorship?
I have seen many opposite sex sponosor-sponsee recoveries. Our foundation does not specify.
There was a great thread on Sex Ideal - and for some reason it got locked down without explanation, but - if we, as members have a healthy and sane sex ideal based on what God would have us do, gender need not hinder recovery.
Thank God that a man took a woman through the steps way back when, or no women would be able to be members - it would be male-only.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Pugetopolis
Posts: 2,384
Originally Posted by bugsworth 
Jim, can I inquire as to what was said at the district meeting? Was it brought to the table because of a specific incident or as a general concern?
No specific incidents that I can recall. I missed the most recent district meeting, but for the last three months or so it has been an item of discussion. As I mentioned, last spring it was an item on the agenda at the General Service Conference and our delegate has informed us that it will be discussed some more.
The discussion at district was along the lines of this thread. GSR's would share how their groups handled the proble, if indeed there was a problem. I think the idea here is to raise awareness.
Jim
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
My personal experience...
I began AA '84....in D.C.
moved to Fl. and now live in Ga.
From city...to large town...to small town.
Yes...I have been approached by men and women
interested in sexual activities.
My reaction?
"No way"....wth a scornful
I did use that more often in bars than in AA.
Perhaps because I came into AA at 48
???
Thanks for letting me share.
I began AA '84....in D.C.
moved to Fl. and now live in Ga.
From city...to large town...to small town.
Yes...I have been approached by men and women
interested in sexual activities.
My reaction?
"No way"....wth a scornful
I did use that more often in bars than in AA.
Perhaps because I came into AA at 48
???
Thanks for letting me share.
Life the gift of recovery!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Home is where the heart is
Posts: 7,061
Originally Posted by CarolD
How did we ...as a group.... deal with this?
We older members take responsibility.
Their sponsors were alerted
to inappropiate actions.
We made certain newcomers knew
to avoid private contact
We sit next to new members in meetings.
Phone lists are given ...men for men women for women.
There is absolutely no opposite sex sponsorship.
Welcome to Paulding Co. AA!
We older members take responsibility.
Their sponsors were alerted
to inappropiate actions.
We made certain newcomers knew
to avoid private contact
We sit next to new members in meetings.
Phone lists are given ...men for men women for women.
There is absolutely no opposite sex sponsorship.
Welcome to Paulding Co. AA!
Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
Responsibility!!!!
Everyone of us whether we have one week or 30 years has a responsibilty to help and watch out for the newcomer imo.
I pulled a guy aside with 24 years after a meeting one time, not because he was hitting on ladies, but because he was talking some real disrespectful trash!!!! Stuff that had no business being discussed in mixed company.
Every one of us, male or female, victim or witness, needs to stand up against this and let those who pull this stuff know it is unacceptable.
In my area I see it far less then I have in the work place or a bar, I have heard about it more in churches in my area then in the rooms. I attended a ton of meetings (2-3 a day for 3 weeks) in the Baltimore area and never saw it there.
I have a strong feeling I do not see it in my area because it is not something that is kept a secret or only discussed in private, I hear it discussed in meeting. SOme of the older ladies in our area said it was a problem when they first came into the rooms but the old timers straightened out the folks doing it.
Those of us who witness it have a responsibilty to do something about it except gossip or whine about it and those subjected to it need to at a minimum tell someone about it.
It is a sad fact in AA, NA, and in every single rehab or detox facility that allows members of the opposite sex to mingle.
It is even a fact that I and others here at SR have first hand knowledge of, the guy is gone now, he is the very reason that at the top of every forum here at SR there was a warning about predators of his type lurking here. This warning is gone now, I just noticed, it was there for quite a while.
Everyone of us whether we have one week or 30 years has a responsibilty to help and watch out for the newcomer imo.
I pulled a guy aside with 24 years after a meeting one time, not because he was hitting on ladies, but because he was talking some real disrespectful trash!!!! Stuff that had no business being discussed in mixed company.
Every one of us, male or female, victim or witness, needs to stand up against this and let those who pull this stuff know it is unacceptable.
In my area I see it far less then I have in the work place or a bar, I have heard about it more in churches in my area then in the rooms. I attended a ton of meetings (2-3 a day for 3 weeks) in the Baltimore area and never saw it there.
I have a strong feeling I do not see it in my area because it is not something that is kept a secret or only discussed in private, I hear it discussed in meeting. SOme of the older ladies in our area said it was a problem when they first came into the rooms but the old timers straightened out the folks doing it.
Those of us who witness it have a responsibilty to do something about it except gossip or whine about it and those subjected to it need to at a minimum tell someone about it.
It is a sad fact in AA, NA, and in every single rehab or detox facility that allows members of the opposite sex to mingle.
It is even a fact that I and others here at SR have first hand knowledge of, the guy is gone now, he is the very reason that at the top of every forum here at SR there was a warning about predators of his type lurking here. This warning is gone now, I just noticed, it was there for quite a while.
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