Sexual predators (or predators of any type) in AA.
Life the gift of recovery!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Home is where the heart is
Posts: 7,061
Originally Posted by Rowan 
I, for one, am not going to risk my safety by shrugging off vulgarity as a 'horny' man. You're right bugs, there is a huge distinction - and unless one sees that line being crossed, it would be easy to dismiss sexual innuendo as simply that. Can you tell by looking at someone whether they are horny or dangerous? I cannot.
*~10 YEARS BABY~*
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Hollywood
Posts: 9,369
THOUGHTS ON WHY THERE IS A PROBLEM: Predators are everywhere. They are in our AA meetings, our schools, our churches (yes, personal experience taught me this one at an early age), our work places, our jails, our grocery stores, etc.... Sometimes they are even in our own homes. AA in that respect is no different. People don't come into AA because they are healthy, sane, and happy individuals. I can look at myself and know that to be true. We also have the court systems dumping people into AA (although sometimes this has saved people's lives by introducing them to AA). Not everyone who comes in through the court system or treatment system is there with their primary purpose to get and stay sober. I have to keep in mind that some people that come into AA already sick are sick enough not to do the work to get healthier and use it as their personal hunting ground.
But I'm not going to 'not' go to the Police station if I need the help of a cop.
That would be silly.
If I needed AA, I would go to AA, just as well.
That's my opinion on the matter. No one on this planet is going to stop ME from getting the help I need to get, no matter where it is, no matter what type the system is.
I may as well reserve myself to just dying now if I am going to let others stop me from getting the help I need. :atv
There's A Hole In My Sidewalk
Chapter One
I walk down a street and there's a big hole. I don't see it and fall into it. It's dark and hopeless and it takes me a long time to find my way out. It's not my fault !
Chapter Two
I walk down the same street. There's a big hole and I can see it, but I still fall in. It's dark and hopeless and it takes me a long time to get out. It's still not my fault.
Chapter Three
I walk down a street. There's a big hole. I can see it, but I still fall in. It's become a habit. But I keep my eyes open and get out immediately. It is my fault.
Chapter Four
I walk down a street. There's a big hole. And I walk around it.
Chapter Five
I walk down a different street.
Chapter One
I walk down a street and there's a big hole. I don't see it and fall into it. It's dark and hopeless and it takes me a long time to find my way out. It's not my fault !
Chapter Two
I walk down the same street. There's a big hole and I can see it, but I still fall in. It's dark and hopeless and it takes me a long time to get out. It's still not my fault.
Chapter Three
I walk down a street. There's a big hole. I can see it, but I still fall in. It's become a habit. But I keep my eyes open and get out immediately. It is my fault.
Chapter Four
I walk down a street. There's a big hole. And I walk around it.
Chapter Five
I walk down a different street.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Pugetopolis
Posts: 2,384
F.y.i.
You all may be interested to know that this very issue was discussed and will be brought up again at the General Service Conference. That tells me that enough of us are aware of the problem to want to bring it to the conference.
Jim
Jim
Life the gift of recovery!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Home is where the heart is
Posts: 7,061
Originally Posted by jimhere
You all may be interested to know that this very issue was discussed and will be brought up again at the General Service Conference. That tells me that enough of us are aware of the problem to want to bring it to the conference.
Jim
Jim
Life the gift of recovery!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Home is where the heart is
Posts: 7,061
Originally Posted by bugsworth
That is interesting Jim....seems it will be a hard nut to crack....no pun intended...
:rof
Member
Join Date: May 2005
Location: brooklyn, new york
Posts: 1,639
i was in a rehab in nyc
circa 89', 90
i remember there was a guy and gal who got close
but
there was this other girl that was very friendly
so i joked with her one night
and
she said, "i don't flirt, i fraternize"
explaining her college days
so, switch to the wikitionary
fraternity
From Wiktionary
Jump to: navigation, search
Contents [hide]
1 English
1.1 Noun
1.1.1 Synonyms
1.1.2 Antonyms
1.1.3 Translations
1.1.3.1 Translations to be checked
1.1.4 Related terms
1.1.5 See also
[edit] English
Wikipedia has an article on:
Fraternity
[edit] Noun
Singular
fraternity
Plural
uncountable
fraternity (uncountable)
the quality of being brothers; brotherliness.
a group of people associated for a common purpose.
(US) a social organization of male students at a college or university; usually identified by Greek letters.
[edit] Synonyms
brotherhood
[edit] Antonyms
disfavor
Dutch (cognate with Old English žeod "community, homeland, nation")
in Dutch with the boss
[edit] Translations
the quality of being brothers[show ▼]
Romanian: fraternitate f.
group of people associated for a common purpose[show ▼]
sorority
From Wiktionary
Jump to: navigation, search
Contents [hide]
1 English
1.1 Etymology
1.2 Noun
1.2.1 Related terms
1.2.2 Translations
1.2.2.1 Translations to be checked
[edit] English
[edit] Etymology
From Latin soror a sister.
[edit] Noun
Singular
sorority
Plural
sororities
sorority (plural sororities)
a sisterhood
(US) a social organization of female students at a college or university; usually identified by Greek letters.
eg Alpha Chi Omega
a group of girls or women associated for a common purpose.
[edit] Related terms
fraternity
[edit] Translations
a sisterhood[show ▼]
Finnish: sisarkunta
a social organization of female students at a college or university[show ▼]
Finnish: naisopiskelijoiden yhdistys
a group of girls or women associated for a common purpose
now, if you got this far, i can't ever remember being at a meeting, sitting there, and "he's a ........"
you can come to brooklyn,
go to any meeting i've been to
and
i have never even went so far as to ask a female out for coffe after the meeting
i've been invited with the group
and
what is the 13th step?
aren't there only 12
this thread is a little too wild for me
and
maybe you guys are watching too much sci-fi channel
circa 89', 90
i remember there was a guy and gal who got close
but
there was this other girl that was very friendly
so i joked with her one night
and
she said, "i don't flirt, i fraternize"
explaining her college days
so, switch to the wikitionary
fraternity
From Wiktionary
Jump to: navigation, search
Contents [hide]
1 English
1.1 Noun
1.1.1 Synonyms
1.1.2 Antonyms
1.1.3 Translations
1.1.3.1 Translations to be checked
1.1.4 Related terms
1.1.5 See also
[edit] English
Wikipedia has an article on:
Fraternity
[edit] Noun
Singular
fraternity
Plural
uncountable
fraternity (uncountable)
the quality of being brothers; brotherliness.
a group of people associated for a common purpose.
(US) a social organization of male students at a college or university; usually identified by Greek letters.
[edit] Synonyms
brotherhood
[edit] Antonyms
disfavor
Dutch (cognate with Old English žeod "community, homeland, nation")
in Dutch with the boss
[edit] Translations
the quality of being brothers[show ▼]
Romanian: fraternitate f.
group of people associated for a common purpose[show ▼]
sorority
From Wiktionary
Jump to: navigation, search
Contents [hide]
1 English
1.1 Etymology
1.2 Noun
1.2.1 Related terms
1.2.2 Translations
1.2.2.1 Translations to be checked
[edit] English
[edit] Etymology
From Latin soror a sister.
[edit] Noun
Singular
sorority
Plural
sororities
sorority (plural sororities)
a sisterhood
(US) a social organization of female students at a college or university; usually identified by Greek letters.
eg Alpha Chi Omega
a group of girls or women associated for a common purpose.
[edit] Related terms
fraternity
[edit] Translations
a sisterhood[show ▼]
Finnish: sisarkunta
a social organization of female students at a college or university[show ▼]
Finnish: naisopiskelijoiden yhdistys
a group of girls or women associated for a common purpose
now, if you got this far, i can't ever remember being at a meeting, sitting there, and "he's a ........"
you can come to brooklyn,
go to any meeting i've been to
and
i have never even went so far as to ask a female out for coffe after the meeting
i've been invited with the group
and
what is the 13th step?
aren't there only 12
this thread is a little too wild for me
and
maybe you guys are watching too much sci-fi channel
Life the gift of recovery!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Home is where the heart is
Posts: 7,061
Originally Posted by fraankie
could some post personal experiences
what do these people look like
and
how do they behave?
are they the ones in raincoats with no......................................
what do these people look like
and
how do they behave?
are they the ones in raincoats with no......................................
Member
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Vancouver BC
Posts: 386
Originally Posted by sugErspun
Personally, I saw a much higher concentration of the behavior described above as 'predatory' when I lived on a college campus. It was MUCH more rampant, but somehow it was accepted because everyone was in college.
This might be the case, but I am not sure that doesn't minimize the problem at a recovery meeting.
It is highly inappropriate to be "hitting on" someone in a recovery group setting. IMO
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 1,697
Originally Posted by lovingseren
This might be the case, but I am not sure that doesn't minimize the problem at a recovery meeting.
It is highly inappropriate to be "hitting on" someone in a recovery group setting. IMO
It is highly inappropriate to be "hitting on" someone in a recovery group setting. IMO
To imply that you are going to find this kind of behavior in AA more than you would the positive things I have found in AA is just not accurate. It doesn't give an accurate picture of the recovery that AA offers when someone says that all you are going to find is a room full of men stalking you, or women to make you feel afraid of the men in the group.
Personally, I do not make too much conversation with women at meetings, just general chit chat "Hello, how are you?"... I know the stigma that could be attached if I was to be found fraternizing with another member in or outside of a meeting. I try to make the women feel comfortable by giving them a lot of space.
It`s ok to stay sober
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Central NC
Posts: 20,902
the GSC cannot and will not do anything about it but maybe put out a article in some aa publication
this is a problem we all must solve for ourselves.If they tryed to solve it,it would lead to them governing over us,and then it would cause more trouble.We police ourselves..to sit back and wait on someone else to solve our problems would be ir-responsible.
this is a problem we all must solve for ourselves.If they tryed to solve it,it would lead to them governing over us,and then it would cause more trouble.We police ourselves..to sit back and wait on someone else to solve our problems would be ir-responsible.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 1,876
sug, I do believe from my experience that there is a greater chance of me being "hit on" at aa than in the grocery store, work or church. Maybe since you are not a woman it is something that you don't see. I am in no way saying that this is a reason not to seek help if you need it, but it is a reality in the rooms. To compare a college campus to a recovery group is not quite fair. First of a college campus is full of teenagers and early 20 somethings...parties often trump studies....nature of that beast...
aa is a recovery program, I would venture to say the average age is around 40 or so...a tad bit different than a college campus. Most people are there to find help, not a date.
Again, by no means do I say this behavior should prevent one from seeking the help they need, but women and some men should understand that you will find plenty of unsavory behavior in the rooms.
aa is a recovery program, I would venture to say the average age is around 40 or so...a tad bit different than a college campus. Most people are there to find help, not a date.
Again, by no means do I say this behavior should prevent one from seeking the help they need, but women and some men should understand that you will find plenty of unsavory behavior in the rooms.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Pugetopolis
Posts: 2,384
Originally Posted by bballdad
the GSC cannot and will not do anything about it but maybe put out a article in some aa publication
this is a problem we all must solve for ourselves.If they tryed to solve it,it would lead to them governing over us,and then it would cause more trouble.We police ourselves..to sit back and wait on someone else to solve our problems would be ir-responsible.
this is a problem we all must solve for ourselves.If they tryed to solve it,it would lead to them governing over us,and then it would cause more trouble.We police ourselves..to sit back and wait on someone else to solve our problems would be ir-responsible.
It is being brought up as an item for discussion to raise awareness. Our delegate brought this to us last spring and it is being discussed again this year.
We had a discussion at our district meeting a month or so ago and it has been on going, so I think it is a pretty heavy deal to merit this much discussion.
Life the gift of recovery!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Home is where the heart is
Posts: 7,061
Originally Posted by bugsworth
sug, I do believe from my experience that there is a greater chance of me being "hit on" at aa than in the grocery store, work or church. Maybe since you are not a woman it is something that you don't see. I am in no way saying that this is a reason not to seek help if you need it, but it is a reality in the rooms. To compare a college campus to a recovery group is not quite fair. First of a college campus is full of teenagers and early 20 somethings...parties often trump studies....nature of that beast...
aa is a recovery program, I would venture to say the average age is around 40 or so...a tad bit different than a college campus. Most people are there to find help, not a date.
Again, by no means do I say this behavior should prevent one from seeking the help they need, but women and some men should understand that you will find plenty of unsavory behavior in the rooms.
aa is a recovery program, I would venture to say the average age is around 40 or so...a tad bit different than a college campus. Most people are there to find help, not a date.
Again, by no means do I say this behavior should prevent one from seeking the help they need, but women and some men should understand that you will find plenty of unsavory behavior in the rooms.
I do find it ironic that people think the percent is so high in AA yet, it is actually considerably less than if one walks into a bar. We all did that. I have still run into more predators in a church setting than in AA. But that is my personal experience, and that does not mean it is everyone's experience. Just as you experience is that the numbers are higher in AA, that does not mean it is everyones experience. Yes, AA should be a safe place and for many it is. If someone finds this to be a problem find a different meeting where the homegroup members address the problem and keep the predators away.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Vancouver BC
Posts: 386
Originally Posted by bugsworth
sug, I do believe from my experience that there is a greater chance of me being "hit on" at aa than in the grocery store, work or church. Maybe since you are not a woman it is something that you don't see. I am in no way saying that this is a reason not to seek help if you need it, but it is a reality in the rooms. To compare a college campus to a recovery group is not quite fair. First of a college campus is full of teenagers and early 20 somethings...parties often trump studies....nature of that beast...
aa is a recovery program, I would venture to say the average age is around 40 or so...a tad bit different than a college campus. Most people are there to find help, not a date.
Again, by no means do I say this behavior should prevent one from seeking the help they need, but women and some men should understand that you will find plenty of unsavory behavior in the rooms.
aa is a recovery program, I would venture to say the average age is around 40 or so...a tad bit different than a college campus. Most people are there to find help, not a date.
Again, by no means do I say this behavior should prevent one from seeking the help they need, but women and some men should understand that you will find plenty of unsavory behavior in the rooms.
Thank You Bugs,
I related my experience in another post, it is MY experience, I did not imply it, I told it as it happened to me.
Sug, as you say you are not a woman, so no doubt you "haven't found this to be the case".
I thank everyone who has responded to this issue with sensitivity, especially Jimhere.
Seren
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
