Mark75

I think my experience is more like yours was where you got sober.

I started going to the meeting I liked after I'd been to a few different ones. I sat up front with the people who seemed to have a good message and laughed a lot. I signed the book when I knew I found the group I wanted to call home. I chaired the meeting at my one year anniversary. I brought my own cake and someone else suggested the topic for discussion.... If I feel sufficiently moved during a meeting I raise my hand and share. Once or twice I've been called on.

It's all good.

Mark

Ago

They don't raise their hand here, just sign up on a sheet before the meeting

How in the hell do I know if I want to share before a meeting?

How do I get called on if I am about to eat my Luger and need help?

tres bizarre

I don't like it.

Mark75

Some days on the meeting, I even say to myself... I'm not feeling too inspired today, I'm not gonna share... I get there, the meeting starts and I'm moved... sometimes it's the opposite....

God comes to a group often in an unplanned spontaneous way. How do you plan for and force that??

Or maybe, I'm expecting too much?

Mark

Ribeye

WTF !!!!

You are a member when you say so, right ?

What type of group is this, if you don't mind me asking ? What is the socio-economic make up ? Are we talking about spoiled rich kids and artsy, fartsy types or is this a normal thing out there ?

I find your story rather disturbing. Also, in my limited experience, groups that deviate too far from the traditions go away. I'm just wondering how common this is and who's doing it........

Ago

Strangely enough, this is a group called "The Traditionals" and after attending many many groups meetings around here this is the closest to "real" AA I have found in this area, although I do also attend meetings across the street from a coffee shop I frequent, it's a bit "low bottom" for me though as I don't care to hear how someone went to a meeting to "pop a cap in some doods @ss, but he wasn't there so it was a good meeting" ....you know?

It's actually a good group, the socio-eco background varies, and there is some good sobriety, but I just can't seem to break the teflon fellowship barrier, which in the past I have always done by taking commitments at meetings, whether chair set-up, coffee guy etc, but they don't have commitments as we know them, there are on set of commitments for 30+ meetings, and you have to have been a member for 6 months

That's eating your cake after the two birds in the bush flew away to me.

Ribeye

LOL, the AA tough guy. Yes. I know one or two. Thankfully only one or two.

I'm all for group autonomy but this 'waiting list' to join a group is pushing it. I think it pretty clearly breaks the traditions and you're proof that it's not an effective way to reach out to the new guy. Even if you are only 'new' to the area. Six months to get active....well, okay. But you should join automatically. Very, very strange.

Still, groups will do as they please. I've just never heard about that kind of stuff. I guess they don't call it 'the land of fruits and nuts' for nothing !!

Man. Good luck. I'll pray for you !!


In the mean time, anyone from the left-coast care to explain ?
I am casting all kinds of judements against you guys right now........

Ago

Just to be perfectly clear, I have been to meetings all over CA, all over the world for that matter, and have never seen this, it's not sobriety in the west coast that is trouble, I am just unhappy in this particular area. I drive a few miles out of town and it's business as usual.

The land of fruits and nuts actually strictly speaking refers to LA, and I'm here to tell you LA has the hardest of the hardcore meetings I have ever seen. All that touchy feely sh1t that takes place in California does NOT affect AA in LA, meetings there are the hardest of the hardcore.

Ago

LOL I just saw where you are from, I have a buddy from New Jersey just moved to LA, I was actually going to make a comment about how much scarier LA meetings are then NJ meetings, thank God I saw where you are from first

He's got 23 years, wonder if you know him, he's a teacher, been out here for 7? years he taught in Kuwait before that? He hits a lot of meetings, not sure how long you bin around or how big NJ fellowship is, but I think he did 10-15 years out there IIRC

navysteve

In my angst to find a meeting that wasn't nuts in Pennsylvania, I crossed the delaware to see what I could see, went as far east as freehold. I sped all the way home!!!!!!

Mark75

Wasn't Clancy I. and Chuck C. from LA.... I believe it then if you say LA is hardcore. I've been listening to both of those speakers... lots of good stuff.

Both of these guys have some pretty strong opinions on Traditions

Mark

Ago

Yup

Ribeye

That's good to know.

Then it is just a matter of a few groups doing whatever the hell they want.
So, if it's good for AA it will stay, if not it will go away.

Ribeye

NJ meetings are pretty scary sometimes. I've never been to LA so I can't compare. LOL !!

I've got 12 years. But the NJ fellowship is pretty big. We are the most densely populated state you know.......among many other fine titles.

I'm in Central Jersey Intergroup. There's Northern, Southern, Central and Cape-Atlantic. So.....chances are we haven't met, but it is a small world. You never know.

You've been to Jersey meetings or are from NJ ?

laurie6781

Yes. I was very fortunate my first 3 years in recovery to not only get to know Chuck C but to spend time with him before he passed.

Also know Clancy. Haven't seen him in person in about 7 years but we do stay in contact. He was very close to my sponsor and her husband.

There are areas of L.A. that are very 'hard core.' I will always be grateful that I found recovery in the San Fernando Valley of L.A. ..................... Big Book Country.

J M H O

Love and hugs,

AW2486

Laurie,

Did you go to Pacific Group meetings?

Wonder if you know my friend Neal.

laurie6781

I went a few times, but stayed mostly in the Valley except for my almost weekly trips down to Laguna to sit with Chuck C.

The Pacific Group used to have, don't know if it still does a 'dress code' thanks to Clancy. Women dressed as if going out to dinner in a nice restaurant and men wore ties. It is a HUGE goup!!!!!

In addition to his sponsoring and speaking engagements Clancy also managed the bigger downtown L.A. Rescue Mission.

I got sober summer of '81 and left the L.A. area in early '86. Haven't been back there since late '98 but still have friends that I talk with on a pretty regular basis.

The only thing I do miss about L.A. are the meetings. I too have been to meetings around the U.S. and some in Australia, but to me those were the BEST, at least for me.

J M H O

Love and hugs,

Jfanagle

I was involved in the Back to Basics program in Southern California as one of two individuals that implemented the program in our area taken from Wally P's book. I didn't keep count but over a 4 year period every Sunday night we had between 20 and 30 people attend. Approximately 1/2 were new comers and 1/2 were folks with time who had taken the steps. Many times a new sponsor would bring his pigeon and use this structured format to get them going on the steps and in 4 one hour sessions, along with time during the week for the new comer to work on his 4TH and then arrange with his/her sponsor to do the 5TH step an awful lot of folks took the steps and then came back to help the next newcomer.

I suspect that the rate of COMPLETION of the steps was much higher for attendees than those in more conventional meetings held in the same locale. We met in a physical facility in which approximately 35 meetings a week are held, so this was just one of many AA meetings.

PLEASE NOTE: I was sold on the no nonsense classroom type approach, but that does not mean that I believed then nor do I now, that this was THE RIGHT WAY to get sober. It was ONE WAY, and in fact I got sober the old fashioned way of sitting in meetings until I realized that I needed a sponsor and needed to work the steps, it was a more drawn out approach, but it has stuck for the last 10 years plus.

I do think that in some cases certain types of alkies liked the structure Back to Basics provided, and having been a temporary sponsor to well over 100 new comers in the Back to Basics I can say that many of those folks still show up in various meetings taking 3, 4, and 5 year cakes and chips so there was success. I still have the honor of sponsoring several of those who I helped as a temp, but now they are my permanent fellows in AA.

Just my experience, but I had to write as I did spend a few years in this Back to Basic approach and I came out sober being of service to other suffering Alcoholics.

Jon

navysteve

When I was out there in 97 that is how it was too. I wasn't into kissing the ring so I wasn't made very welcome there.

Jfanagle

We have an offshoot of the Pacific Group in Upland and they still practice the dress code and cater to a better class of drunks!! Not my cup of tea, although my sponsor has been a member of the group as his home group for 25 years. We just agree that it works for him and I prefer my meetings. Once I was told that I "fit" into the upper crust alkies I remembered the Groucho Marx remark about not wanting to be a member of any group that would have ME as a member. (Paraphrased of course).

Thank goodness there are all sorts of meetings and groups for all sorts of drunks.

Jon

navysteve

And who would want to be among th ewhos who of AA?