Progress is good
Holding The Father's Hand
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Oregon
Posts: 96
Progress is good
I'm happy to be able to post something good for a change. I don't usually hang out here, I'm usually over in the Alanon group, but this is about my dad, so I figured I'd come over here.
About a year ago, my dad was on his ninth step. I was the first one he was making amends to, and he botched it, big time. I felt so awful afterwards that I cried myself to sleep that night. He just said, "I'm on my ninth step and need to make amends to you. You're my first one. I'm sorry for all the stuff I did when you were growing up". That was it. I didn't feel better. I felt awful and frankly, I felt jipped. I wasn't comfortable enough in our relationship to talk to him, so I didn't. I held it all inside.
This past weekend, I felt my dad finally did truly make amends. He had a very sad look on his face and he started saying that he knew he did a lot of awful things to me when I was a kid and really wasn't the father that I needed him to be. He wanted to make sure that I knew that he felt bad about it and would do everything in his power to make it up to me. I told him that I forgave him and thanked him for saying all of that. I know it wasn't easy.
I felt such a weight lifted after the talk with my dad. I feel like we can finally move forward with our relationship. I'm so proud of him. After 40 years of being drunk and 9 years of estrangement from the family, he now has 2 1/2 years of sobriety and is even sponsoring a young addict. He has come a long way. We have been on speaking terms for the past two years and are baby stepping to a true father/daughter relationship. We've never really had one so the thought of finally having a dad is very exciting.
Thanks for reading.
About a year ago, my dad was on his ninth step. I was the first one he was making amends to, and he botched it, big time. I felt so awful afterwards that I cried myself to sleep that night. He just said, "I'm on my ninth step and need to make amends to you. You're my first one. I'm sorry for all the stuff I did when you were growing up". That was it. I didn't feel better. I felt awful and frankly, I felt jipped. I wasn't comfortable enough in our relationship to talk to him, so I didn't. I held it all inside.
This past weekend, I felt my dad finally did truly make amends. He had a very sad look on his face and he started saying that he knew he did a lot of awful things to me when I was a kid and really wasn't the father that I needed him to be. He wanted to make sure that I knew that he felt bad about it and would do everything in his power to make it up to me. I told him that I forgave him and thanked him for saying all of that. I know it wasn't easy.
I felt such a weight lifted after the talk with my dad. I feel like we can finally move forward with our relationship. I'm so proud of him. After 40 years of being drunk and 9 years of estrangement from the family, he now has 2 1/2 years of sobriety and is even sponsoring a young addict. He has come a long way. We have been on speaking terms for the past two years and are baby stepping to a true father/daughter relationship. We've never really had one so the thought of finally having a dad is very exciting.
Thanks for reading.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Under the Rainbow
Posts: 1,086
:I'm so happy for you! And I must admit to being a bit envious as well. But it's that good kind of envy, not the bad kind. And even though I don't know him, I am very proud of your father. What great strength he's shown so far!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: fumbling towards ecstasy
Posts: 2,551
That is a beautiful story of amends. Sometimes we really don't get it right on the first try. I am so glad your dad was able to finally speak from the heart. Your acceptance and forgiveness is beautiful, ChildlikeFaith. Thanks for sharing that with us - inspiring!
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