jaguar1

I am starting this as my first step in recovery.

A brief summarry of what my life has been like,

I am 1 of four children raised by our father, whose mother left when I was about five (oldest) My youngest sister was 8 months. We seen her every now and then (once a month) she was out drinking and doing drugs, when I was in ninth grade she decided to settle down a little bit and started helping us a little bit money wise, however she was still drinking pretty heavily and also allowed us as teenagers come over and get drunk with her. I found my now husband in 11 grade and do not drink any more but she basically helped my brother ruin his life he moved in with her his senior year ( my father would not allow him to drink and smoke and she did) he even dropped out of school with 5 weeks left, he would get mad at her so to make it up she would have a six pack waiting for him after school. Now that I have my own two children she has been there but not how a grandmother is suppose to on her days of she goes to the bar instead of calling us. Anyways my entire life I have gone back in forth of hateing her. I really want to disasociate myself with her but I am afraid she will hurt herself the last time that we argued and I told her to just leave me alone she went home and tried to kill herself. I sometimes think she is jealous of me because I basically raised my brothers and sisters with my father he did not have any family here or anyone to help. (Oh yeah my moms mother was the same way she would come by our house drunk when my dad was at work and just curse at us and was just really mean and hateful.) My brothers and sisters always call me to do things that a mother is suppose to do, for instance if they call her and she can't do anything to help they just say well I'll just call Jessica.

Anyways this last weekend was the last straw my youngest sister who is now 18 went to give her a ride home from the bar and she kissed her boyfriend who is 17 and asked him if he liked older women and telling him how she hasnot had sex in about four months ect. so I called my mom on it and she gets angry and says " I had to put up with my mom and I never treated her like this, this is ******** you always call and yell at me when I do something wrong I dont have to put up with this ****, **** it" and then she hung up on me. That was yesterday and I have not talked to her since.

There have been numerous occations when each one of us have gotten into confrontations with my mother where alot of hurtful things have been said and her saying most of the hurtful things, she told one of my brothers that hsi girlfriends a **** hes a bad father no wonder why she wont let him see his kid, she has called my sister a ****.

As of right now my brother has quit drinking none of us really drink, However I see the effects of her on all of us.

brother 21- was heavily in marijuana that is how he delt with all of this now that he quit after about 4 years he can not he any of it beacuase he does not know how to deal with his problems without being high.

brother 20- he has relationship problems he is involved in an emotionally and physically abusive relationship

Sister 18- she can not get close to anyone has extreme amount of anger built up she is the one that you can do something for and she loves you one minute and the next minute she is cursing you out

Me- I am stressed I have a family of my own and everyone calls me when they need something, and I just cant say no

Any tips on how to deal with my alcoholic mother?

DesertEyes

Hello jaguar, and welcome to SR.

I'm sorry to hear about the problems you're having with your mom, and how it has affected your whole family. I'm glad your Dad was there for your.

As far as tips for dealing with your Mom, we've got tons of tips

Start by reading the "sticky" posts at the top of this forum. Also check out the "Friends and Family" and "Nar-Anon" forums, they have a lot of people who are dealing with parents that are addicted or alcoholic.

Also grab your phone book. Call Al-Anon or Adult Children of Alcoholics and see if there are real life meetings near to you. In some of the bigger cities the two have merged, so you will find Al-Anon meetings that deal with a lot of parent issues. Here in Las Vegas it's that way.

By the time you get all done you'll have a bunch of questions, so please post them here and we'll all toss in our experience with our own parents.

Welcome again, glad you found us.

Mike

GingerM

I have nothing more to add at this point, but wanted to let you know that people are here and we're listening.