Ohhhhh! So that's how I learned it!
 

As I was growing up, my father was a binge drinker. You know sober for a month or so, then drank for a week till he got sick.

My mother drank every Sunday night and got on the phone and yapped. Those poor people she'd call!

These were my role models for controlling your drink. I have now grown up and am 40 and wonder why is it that when I have a drink, I want to drink till I have had enough...and not just have 1 or 2, that's it.

It has now become a scarey thing where I have been consumed by the thought of being an alcoholic myself!

It makes me angry at them. It hurts.

You're an adult. This is your life. You've noticed a pattern, now break it. What good does blaming really do?

God Bless!

Etimee - we can relate - those of us who choose to internalize the pain and then try to cover it up with drugs and alcohol. You can make positive changes in your life now that you have recognized a problem may exist. I am living proof. I have my bad days and my ups and downs - but as long as we are working on getting better there is hope.

You've recognized there may be a problem here - please take care of you!!

Welcome to SR

Hi Sailorswife,

You got the first part right, I am an adult, it's my life and now I am trying to break a pattern that "I've" started. However, there is no way, I blame them. Both of my parents do not drink anymore. So they also taught me a valuable lesson there too. It's OK to be angry about it, the angry could be at myself, however, I do adore my parents!

Thanks for your reply and God Bless you too! :)

Hugs

Glad to hear you're not blaming them. Sorry if that post of mine came across as bitchy, I totally didn't mean it that way.

Stay strong!

Etimee, your thread reminds me of something I read in my Al-Anon literature, that my problems may have my parents name written on them, but all my solutions have my name written on them!

I like that! I remember that one from the years I attended the meetings. Thank you for the reminder. :)