Looking for Guidance with Friend
 

Hi, I'm in love with an Adult child of an Alcoholic/Narcotic Parent. In an effort to understand, I've been searching for information on the internet and found your site. Even though I know I'm not the one that's hurting, I do get my feelings hurt due to some of his emotions and behaviors that don't make sense to me. Being hurt and in turn hurting that person because you're uninformed just doesn't make sense. Reading your threads is turning on so many lights. Does anyone have any thoughts, ideas, or wisdom on how I can be a supportive, strong, and loving woman for this man? if you have ideas on how to help both of us grow and be the best that we can be in this relationship and our lives, please get that information to me. He's a wonderful man who deserves a loving knowledgeable partner. Thanks so much.

Al Anon and Nar Anon meetings would help you better understand things.

Though he may not be using, he may be carrying all the outward signs of someone who does us.
ACOA meetings for him would help him deal with his issues.
You can't change him. He needs to seek change for himself.
Counselor meetings.
You could go as a couple and talk things out or go as an individual and grow as you are able.
You can't change him. You can only change yourself.

I am a female adult child of alcoholic parents. I am a recovered alcoholic myself. I have baggage, and lots of it!. I have been with an incredible man for a year, he is patient, and understanding of my issues as an adult child. He listens, he holds me when I cry, and supports me in every way. I know it must be diffucult for him to deal with my "ghosts" at times, but I truly believe is someone loves another person.........REALLY loves another person, he or she will find the courage an tools needed to be with an ACOAP. It may be a tough road, dear, only you can choose if you really can and want to ride over the bumps.