jema3

<!-- / icon and title --><!-- message -->Let's try this one more time (posted in different area earlier today)...Hi everyone, this is my first time to get involved in this type of forum. I have actually been reading through several "threads" for a couple of days to try and feel better about my similar situation or try to better understand an addict. Can you really do that...better understand an addict? I am a wife of 7 1/2 years, we have been together for over 12 years, have a 6 yr old son and don't want to give up on our marriage. I did go to my first nar-anon meeting last night, as things escalated this past monday as I was yelling at him for relapsing. He now says that he is done with me, fed up with not having any way to pay for anything as I have most of the control over the $. At this very point...I, too, am not only needing to take it one day at a time, but one minute at a time so that I can finish my day, go pick up our son and then head on to my mom's house were my son and I have been staying since March. I know that I am not alone...God has seen me through now for over 10 years and has blesseed me with a wonderful family that is supporting any decision I make. BUT, it is soooo hard, and right now I just want to go to sleep and try to prepare for yet another day. After reading some literature, and like my husband need's to...do I need to find a sponsor as well? When does it become time for enough?

best

Only you would know "if" that time will come.
Others can tell you what they do or are doing. Many will tell you that they are still holding on with the hope each day brings.

That is a choice only you can make or not make.

utopia

can we better understand an addict???

well ive been going to alanon for sometime and its helped me come closer to peace and awareness of issues of addicts and also that i have some of my own addictions, not the usual drink or drugs but other people places and things.

also i think its big to understand myself...then i find im more aware of my actions and though im in no way responsible for anothers choices or actions, my reactions and my emotions are changeable, in time. theres hope that i can have serenity even when loved ones are so hurtful or so careless or so near death. theres always hope. no situation to difficult to be bettered, no unhappiness to great to be lessened.

my heart goes out to you as with anyone who has to live with addicitons and addicts. well done on you for being so determined to get better.

love and light your way.
utopia

splendra

((((jema)))

I know you want things to get better and hope your H will get and stay clean. Take some pressure off of yourself and realize it is not up to you for him to get clean or not. If he really wants to get clean he will and if he doesn't he won't.

I think it is good that you are keeping tabs on the finances in your house hold. Only you can determine if you have had enough and when you come to that point of having enough you will know.

I am a person who has read a lot of literature hoping to understand my H better and also I hoped he would read it too. What I learned is that I needed to understand myself and my motivations and stop trying to control what my H does cause that will make me crazy.....

nocellphone

jema...

It's not easy to make sense of insanity, as we all know here in SR.

If there are Al-Anon meetings near you, I'd encourage you to attend those, as well.

As for the "sponsor" question, I think it's a great idea. For me, a sponsor is simply a supportive guide through what might otherwise be unfamiliar and unnavigable territory. If I'm in the dark, I want to stick close to the guy with the flashlight...

Also, try posting in the Friends & Families forum here. There's lots of support to be gained...

Peace!

Katchus

nocellphone-

As for the "sponsor" question, I think it's a great idea. For me, a sponsor is simply a supportive guide through what might otherwise be unfamiliar and unnavigable territory. If I'm in the dark, I want to stick close to the guy with the flashlight...

Isn't that the truth!

Kat-