cloudy

Is an "adult children" meeting for me?

I never thought so before. My parents are not alcholics, and my mother never even drinks anything more potent than non-hardened cider.

However, last week at my Alanon meeting one of the members suggested I try this adult children meeting out. I have no idea why he suggested it, because I never even thought a whole lot lately about how I grew up let alone said one word about it. I only figure he picked up on something, or he was just trying to be nice and invite me to another one.

He did mention that it might just be a different approach to try, and that sometimes approaching how you grew up might bring into light some things that happen, situations we end up in, in our adult lives.

When he asked me that I said well my parents weren't but I guess I did grow up a little weird, my brother drank a lot at one point and did some drugs (has narcotic addiction) and had/has some mental issues, and there was some violence when I was growing up. (I wouldn't call it abuse, more like a bunch of "freak outs.")
Anyway he said well it likely affected your parents and then you. Now I personally think it's sort of an Alanon type issue but more toward the mental stuff. Looking back, with that perception, I think Alanon would have done everyone some good and perhaps the parents would have had a better handle on things. I had a nice childhood but at the same time there were many times I was nervous and scared, or would walk out of the house at night and keep walking to get away from the yelling, etc.

So - is this meeting even for me? If this one is geared toward adult children of alcoholics, my parents were not alcoholics. And I don't think the main issues stemmed from alcohol or drugs. I think that came later. It wasn't the "roots" not that any alcohol or drugs ever are the roots, they are more like major roots off the roots...ok I hope that made sense.

I'm just open to anything right now that can help me out so if this meeting is going to do that I'm there. Either way I'll give it a try today and maybe I'll know more after that huh?

I'm trying to keep this brief for now so I'll stop here. Thanks for your thoughts :- )

Cloudy

n1hnr94

I am not going to give you a direct yes or no but I will ask the question why were you getting out of the house because of the yelling? Because there is no alcohol in the house doesn't mean there isn't a alcoholic in the house. Alcoholics can be "wet" or "dry". An alcoholic can still have the behaviors without picking up the drink. There can also be dysfunctional families were there is no alcohol involved, but there can be "mental issues". Only you can decide what is best for you. If you feel there is no issues of concern then so be it. Everyone has baggage and skeletons in the closets. Some are more frightening then others.If you seem to be getting by in life happy or content then that is your answer

JT

Cloudy...if there is an ACOA meeting that is convienient why not? You won't really know unless you have checked it out.

My personal experience was that I had a lot of fires going and I stayed in the "now" for a long time because it was critical. Part of my step work in Al Anon required going back looking for patterns in my own behavior. But that was only after I got a true grasp on the fact that it was my own behavior that I needed to be concerned about.

I say give it a shot...there is nothing to lose...
Hugs,
JT

Evanna

I am with JT...try it out and see. Actually i am a great believer in 'a spell in ACOA would probably do most people some good' but thats kinda beside the point.