Not Sure
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Gauteng, Johannesburg
Posts: 1
Not Sure
Both of my parents are alcoholics they split up when I was 3, sadly my mother passed away when was about 17.
I spent most of my life staying with my mother or in foster homes.
It has only been now that I am in a serious relationship that I have discovered that I suffer from ACOA. I seem to iether be very responsible or very irreisponsible at times.
Also I have terrible mood swings and in turn fight with my partner alot.
I am not sure how much of this is mental and how much of it is physical.
I suffer from panic attacks alot more than most and always have to feel in control.
Can anyone give me some advice on what the possible solutions are?
I spent most of my life staying with my mother or in foster homes.
It has only been now that I am in a serious relationship that I have discovered that I suffer from ACOA. I seem to iether be very responsible or very irreisponsible at times.
Also I have terrible mood swings and in turn fight with my partner alot.
I am not sure how much of this is mental and how much of it is physical.
I suffer from panic attacks alot more than most and always have to feel in control.
Can anyone give me some advice on what the possible solutions are?
Don't get undies in a bunch
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: South Shore MA
Posts: 7,120
A good start place till someone comes along with answers via replies would be the sticky post at the top of this board.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ad.php?t=20088
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ad.php?t=20088
Member
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Colorado Springs, CO
Posts: 1
Bio, I know what it feels like. I was not able to 'fix' any of these panic attacks and mood swings without medication. I attended meetings for a long time and while they worked, they didn't work for these conditions. I get very very anxious, insomnia, not to mention anger big time.
I would recommend seeing your regular doctor for a referral (if you need one) to see a counselor. I started on my medication from my regular doctor after doing my own research and my doctor helped me figure out what worked and what not. Medication is not always the solution, but certainly not taking medication is not always the solution either.
I'm glad you made it to this board and by admitting to yourself and others what the problem is, you made the first steps.
The goal is to keep getting better and work on it. No matter what 'temporary' solution you find, you need to continue working to achieve the long term goal.
good luck.
I would recommend seeing your regular doctor for a referral (if you need one) to see a counselor. I started on my medication from my regular doctor after doing my own research and my doctor helped me figure out what worked and what not. Medication is not always the solution, but certainly not taking medication is not always the solution either.
I'm glad you made it to this board and by admitting to yourself and others what the problem is, you made the first steps.
The goal is to keep getting better and work on it. No matter what 'temporary' solution you find, you need to continue working to achieve the long term goal.
good luck.
ACOA in Maine
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: biddeford, maine
Posts: 16
Hold on
Before you run out and start taking perscriptions I would agree to seeing the doctor for a referral and then go to the counselor. Make a meeting if you have one and start doing reading about ACOA. Sometime in the future perscriptions maybe an option, but I am one who avoids perscrips when ever I can. It is not the end of the world, but life might get a little tougher before it gets better. Make sure your mate knows whats going on and that his or her help and understanding will make a big difference. Talk, share, don't judge, think before speaking, don't jump to conclusions and take lots of time before making decision. Keep coming to this site and share.
Supply Manager
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Cleaverville
Posts: 2,898
Welcome!
Our parents are our role models and when they are dysfunctional that is what we grow up perceiving as normal. How else could it be?
When I look back at my life what I thought were decisions were in reality me reacting to what was going on around me. It wasn't until I found the power in myself to make choices in my own best interest that I was able to turn it around. It wasn't easy...I needed help, and still do sometimes, wading through what is real and what is my messed up thinking. I got that help in Al Anon, some get it in therapy or here or other ways. But the important thing is that I don't believe it can be done while reading books and isolating with your own thoughts. My best thinking is what got me where I was so that just tells me that I am not very trustworthy. I have to hold up my thinking to the scrutiny of others.
Changing gut reaction behaviors is not easy but that is the beginning of what I had to do.
Hugs,
JT
Our parents are our role models and when they are dysfunctional that is what we grow up perceiving as normal. How else could it be?
When I look back at my life what I thought were decisions were in reality me reacting to what was going on around me. It wasn't until I found the power in myself to make choices in my own best interest that I was able to turn it around. It wasn't easy...I needed help, and still do sometimes, wading through what is real and what is my messed up thinking. I got that help in Al Anon, some get it in therapy or here or other ways. But the important thing is that I don't believe it can be done while reading books and isolating with your own thoughts. My best thinking is what got me where I was so that just tells me that I am not very trustworthy. I have to hold up my thinking to the scrutiny of others.
Changing gut reaction behaviors is not easy but that is the beginning of what I had to do.
Hugs,
JT
JUST DO IT!!
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Here Or There
Posts: 7,612
I have to look at it the way that I explained my growing up is that they probably did the best that they could. We are all just trying to better ourselves and we can only help ourselves we can not make people change they have to want to do it themselves. I know that I have to write a letter to my mom who is dead and take it to her grave and burn it then I will find release
Member
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Radcliff, Kentucky
Posts: 9
I am new here but I wanted you to know that I recognize what you're feeling. I learned that I didn't learn 'coping' skills. My father drank, my mom denied. On one of my posts, I talk about 'little Jenny'...I am trying to change that and teach myself how to react, talk and heal. I hope we can both do that here together. Good luck.
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