gardenwomyn

I am new to this board. But you have to start somewhere. Growing up in a house with alcoholic parents, 11 other siblings, and no direction leaves you to build your own internal support structure, defenses, and morals. As an adult I found myself diving into my work, becoming a work-aholic, thus avoiding full contact with family and friends. I am now 54-years-old, live in New York, and have gone through a total transition since 9/11. I now find myself seeking a way to find some answers to what makes me tick. I have had time alone over the past two years, left a relationship that was not good for me, retired from my job, and now have decided that my new job, is working on me. I no longer want to be angry, no longer want to hide, no longer want to feel that I need to be in a relationship just because I don’t want to be alone. I want healthy relationships going forward. But to achieve this, I have to get healthy. I need help in order to do this. So I will start here.

best

Hello Dee
Welcome to SR.
Seeing the 11 other siblings.... OK your not my sister *LOL*
None live in NY. I am from a family of 11 children and alcoholic household as well.
Look about, read, ask questions. If no one is here at the moment witha answer, they do show up and answer when they arrive.

Julie1016

I am new to this board. But you have to start somewhere. Growing up in a house with alcoholic parents, 11 other siblings, and no direction leaves you to build your own internal support structure, defenses, and morals. As an adult I found myself diving into my work, becoming a work-aholic, thus avoiding full contact with family and friends. I am now 54-years-old, live in New York, and have gone through a total transition since 9/11. I now find myself seeking a way to find some answers to what makes me tick. I have had time alone over the past two years, left a relationship that was not good for me, retired from my job, and now have decided that my new job, is working on me. I no longer want to be angry, no longer want to hide, no longer want to feel that I need to be in a relationship just because I don’t want to be alone. I want healthy relationships going forward. But to achieve this, I have to get healthy. I need help in order to do this. So I will start here.
Welcome Dee :-) Sounds like you have some great goals there :-) I REALLY wish my sister could get to the point where she no longer wants to be part of a relationship just for fear of being alone. She sticks with this guy she's been dating for nearly 4 years and he really is no good for her. He isn't a terrible person but he isn't right for her. She deserves soooo much better. WTG for making those choices and working on fixing them :-)

gardenwomyn

Thanks Julie. I plan on going to my first Al-Anon meeting next week. I am looking forward to it. I have found that I cannot fix anything for my sister. She has to fix it. I have eight sisters, but my younger sister is very special to me. I raised her and have basically fixed or thought I fixed all of her problems over the course of our lifetimes. Well, guess what. I can't fix her problems, that is something she will have to do for herself. Hang in there Julie. It takes time for the fog to disappear and the Sun to come through.