Trivial question but it's making me nuts!
 

This seems so trivial compared with some of the problems I have read on this board but it's making me nuts and I don't know how to deal with the fear it stirs up.

My second husband is a wonderful guy, patient and caring to my 3 teenage sons, very supportive and accepting towards me, no drinking (occasionally) or drugs and I love him very much. His biggest "fault" is with employment. He changes jobs so often! As soon as there is a rough week or others don't do things the way he thinks they should be done and it interfers with what he needs to do he wants to look for something else. He has gone through 5 jobs in the past 5 years and was laid off for 9 months during that time.

I always feel this overwhelming (and I think over reacting) insecurity about money and our future to the point where I make myself sick! I worry that eventually no one will hire him, we'll lose everything, he will have no pension...goes on and on. As soon as I hear those words "I'm gonna look somewhere else for a job" I can feel my stomach twist. I know my father was the same way and heard all the stories about things being reposessed and not having a job so I know it has alot to do with old junk in my head.

I don't know how to talk to my husband about it, or maybe I shouldn't. Do I just accept him for who he is and trust that we'll be ok or do I tell him how I feel about it? Any suggestions?

Thanks for reading this!

I have a friend who says, "For a time, my life was a series of endless beginnings." He uses that to describe how he could get into relationships or jobs, but never get past the beginning stages. For some people, when the shine wears off, they have to move on...to perpetuate the thrill of newness. I don't know if this is the case with your husband or not. For whatever reason, he can't stay put. He is the one who will have to figure that out.

My question is, what does "no drinking (occasionally)" mean? Do you think this may be somehow connected with his pattern of running from job situations that don't meet his expectations? That sounds quite a bit like the alcoholic behavior I've experienced in my life.

By occasionally I mean maybe once a month we will go out without the kids and get a burger and a couple of beers. From what I have learned over the years about living with alcoholism and it applies to myself also growing up in a very addicted household is that you learn all the behaviors of the alcoholic and apply them to your own life even if you don't drink. He as well as I grew up in very addictive and abusive households so I'm sure we both carry on behaviors that we wish we didn't.

I spent a couple of years in Alanon going to 3 meetings a week as well as 1 AA meeting every week to learn compassion for the alcoholic. Did wonders for my life and helped me identify those "behaviors". They still creep up and I still react to old fears but I know what they are and can try and work through them and know it will pass. Some days are much better than others LOL

We had a little chat last night...he brought it up...he runs from confrontation and when he gets really stressed out at work the softer and easiest solution is to run. He realizes that there is no "perfect" job out there and actually told the boss that he wants to have a meeting about the communication or lack there of, so they are going to talk on Monday. The boss agreed with him and that was a huge step for my husband. I told him I was proud of him and also told him the fears that come up in me when he wants to quit all the time. Time will tell but it's a start...baby steps!

Thanks for everyone's input...its appreciated