Blogs


The Lost Child

Old 01-17-2020, 02:10 AM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Dec 2019
Posts: 322
The Lost Child

I've been reading about the roles people play in an alcoholic family and I can identify as The Lost Child. I have memories of being very quiet, almost invisible, trying to cause as little problems as possible. I would daydream a lot. That was an escape from reality.

Does anyone have any advice or suggestions on how to heal from this role.
Mary88 is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Mary88 For This Useful Post:
Alysheba (04-17-2020), sugarbear1 (01-26-2020)
Old 03-13-2020, 06:47 PM
  # 2 (permalink)  
Member
 
Carpathia's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Philadelphia, PA
Posts: 1,736
Hi, see below.
Carpathia is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to Carpathia For This Useful Post:
Alysheba (04-17-2020)
Old 03-13-2020, 06:59 PM
  # 3 (permalink)  
Member
 
Carpathia's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Philadelphia, PA
Posts: 1,736
Hi. Iím writing a few months after your post. I hope you see it. Currently Iím reading a book called The Power Of Attachment. One take-away for those of us who have avoidant attachment traits (and it seems to me the lost child is an avoidant-type role) is to go toward people, reach out when we feel like withdrawing. The book contains specific examples of how to do this which is helpful.
Carpathia is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Carpathia For This Useful Post:
Alysheba (04-17-2020), Mary88 (06-05-2020)
Old 04-17-2020, 11:57 AM
  # 4 (permalink)  
Member
 
Alysheba's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: CA-SF Bay Area
Posts: 8,763
I was the "identified patient" and a very strong possibility of being a lost child as well. Not fun. I need to re read some of these things and figure out where my family of origin went so wrong, if it's even possible. We had one mean matriarch and a father who never came home, rarely. I didn't blame him. I wouldn't want to come home to my mom either in those days.
After getting some support here, I realize how helpful and important it is to have this growing up. My love, prayers and grief who never experienced this growing up. ♥♥♥
Alysheba is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to Alysheba For This Useful Post:
Mary88 (06-05-2020)
Old 06-05-2020, 07:58 AM
  # 5 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Dec 2019
Posts: 322
Originally Posted by Carpathia View Post
Hi. Iím writing a few months after your post. I hope you see it. Currently Iím reading a book called The Power Of Attachment. One take-away for those of us who have avoidant attachment traits (and it seems to me the lost child is an avoidant-type role) is to go toward people, reach out when we feel like withdrawing. The book contains specific examples of how to do this which is helpful.
Only saw your response today. I will look for that book. I'm definitely an avoidant type!
Mary88 is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to Mary88 For This Useful Post:
Alysheba (06-05-2020)

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 12:08 AM.