Previously an enabler-do average people seem uncaring?
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Join Date: Aug 2015
Posts: 48
Previously an enabler-do average people seem uncaring?
Hi everyone- just interested in knowing if others identify with this or not. I have family members and friends who are addicts and alcoholics.
I do understand about enabling and do not want any part of it anymore- the selfishness is beyond words.
My question is - does the average person to you seem uncaring and basically only interested in themselves or what you can do or give to them-- like the extreme opposite of an enabler. I think that healthy middle ground person is rare but I am interested in what others think.
I do understand about enabling and do not want any part of it anymore- the selfishness is beyond words.
My question is - does the average person to you seem uncaring and basically only interested in themselves or what you can do or give to them-- like the extreme opposite of an enabler. I think that healthy middle ground person is rare but I am interested in what others think.
Sober since October 24, 1997
Join Date: Oct 2014
Location: Otero County, New Mexico
Posts: 108
I think one good answer to your question is as follows.
You pose: "does the average person to you seem uncaring and basically only interested in themselves or what you can do or give to them"
As posed, it revolves around the "average" person. As a group, those who go to work every day and do a good job are the average person. As a group, those who don't get in trouble are the average person. Those in jail and prison are NOT the average person. Basically, those who are the majority of a productive society are the average person. One average person has to get along with other average persons for things to work out okay. If that didn't happen, things would go to pieces everywhere pretty fast. No one would cooperate, there wouldn't be any give-and-take.
The normal state of affairs in a civilized society is where things run smoothly without supervisors and police on every street corner micro-managing every move people make. This is because the average person is a fairly good guy who has the decency to respect others.
None of the above could ever happen if the average person were "basically only interested in themselves or what you can do or give to them". Being "basically only interested in themselves or what you can do or give to them" is not altruistic behavior, and altruistic behavior is why the average person voluntarily helps others for nothing in return when there is a fire, flood, earthquake, tornado, hurricane, or when someone has a flat tire.
Being "basically only interested in themselves or what you can do or give to them" is not normal human behavior, not even close. In just my opinion, that is getting close to predatory behavior.
And the average person is not an actively-using alcoholic or other substance abuser.
You pose: "does the average person to you seem uncaring and basically only interested in themselves or what you can do or give to them"
As posed, it revolves around the "average" person. As a group, those who go to work every day and do a good job are the average person. As a group, those who don't get in trouble are the average person. Those in jail and prison are NOT the average person. Basically, those who are the majority of a productive society are the average person. One average person has to get along with other average persons for things to work out okay. If that didn't happen, things would go to pieces everywhere pretty fast. No one would cooperate, there wouldn't be any give-and-take.
The normal state of affairs in a civilized society is where things run smoothly without supervisors and police on every street corner micro-managing every move people make. This is because the average person is a fairly good guy who has the decency to respect others.
None of the above could ever happen if the average person were "basically only interested in themselves or what you can do or give to them". Being "basically only interested in themselves or what you can do or give to them" is not altruistic behavior, and altruistic behavior is why the average person voluntarily helps others for nothing in return when there is a fire, flood, earthquake, tornado, hurricane, or when someone has a flat tire.
Being "basically only interested in themselves or what you can do or give to them" is not normal human behavior, not even close. In just my opinion, that is getting close to predatory behavior.
And the average person is not an actively-using alcoholic or other substance abuser.
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