Looking for a book with roles in a family with an alcoholic, particularly scapegoat. - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
Go Back   SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information >
Register Blogs FAQ Members List Calendar Arcade Mark Forums Read




Reply
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 05-21-2019, 09:03 AM   #1 (permalink)
Member
 

Join Date: May 2019
Posts: 6

Looking for a book with roles in a family with an alcoholic, particularly scapegoat.


Hello, I am looking for a book that talks about the roles in a family with an alcoholic parent. I see a therapist that recently said I was the scapegoat in my family , which makes sense but I have yet to read about it. I am twelve years sober but still struggling with some aspect of recovery so I hope exploring this will help. I did look at the book on Amazon and that looked very helpful.
Heather400 is offline   Reply With Quote
Heather400 found treatment at None (N/A)
The Following User Says Thank You to Heather400 For This Useful Post:
Alysheba (05-26-2019)
Old 05-26-2019, 05:19 PM   #2 (permalink)
Member
 
Alysheba's Avatar
 

Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: CA-SF Bay Area
Posts: 6,295
I have been identified as the "identified patient" or scapegoat in my family and it is an absolutely horrible thing to be saddled with, I don't know if this happened to you, but it stuck, well after my father (an alcoholic who the sun rose and set on for me) died I was devastated and my family treats me worse than ever, which has been like 25 years. I suspect my mother is a dry drunk. She's awful. Her dad was an alcoholic and physically as well as mentally extremely abusive, which she denies. I couldn't stand her father either (my grandfather-icky). My dad's family was SO much nicer and all she did while growing was tell us that his family was terrible and low class. I mean what snob and a mean thing to say. I loved my dad's parents.
I would love to know if anyone did have a recommendation on this too. I'll look at amazon too, or maybe the library?
Thank you and good luck, Heather! ♥♥♥
__________________
Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.
-Winston Churchill


... In October 2008 King Abdullah of Saudi Arabia returned Alysheba to his homeland...
Alysheba is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-13-2019, 07:39 PM   #3 (permalink)
Member
 

Join Date: Sep 2018
Posts: 290
John Bradshaw I know covers this topic in his books.

And Alysheba Im curious about your name? Any reference to the horse?
Dandelion12 is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Dandelion12 For This Useful Post:
Alysheba (06-13-2019)
Old 06-13-2019, 07:48 PM   #4 (permalink)
Member
 
Alysheba's Avatar
 

Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: CA-SF Bay Area
Posts: 6,295
Yes, I took the name from the race horse, Alysheba. I saw him race when I was quite young and I just thought he was one of the most beautiful horses I'd ever seen. I've had horses for, about 35+ years and rescued a few from the track and I bred a couple of European Warmblood/Thoroughbred crosses.
I'm glad you recognized it! Have a great day Dandelion!! ♥
__________________
Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.
-Winston Churchill


... In October 2008 King Abdullah of Saudi Arabia returned Alysheba to his homeland...
Alysheba is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-14-2019, 03:33 AM   #5 (permalink)
Member
 

Join Date: May 2019
Posts: 6
Hi Dandelion 12, thank you for your reply and I will look up the book you suggest. X

hi Alesheba, I'm sorry it has taken me a while to reply and thank you for your post. I like how you got your name and I'm an animal lover so it is lovely to read if your interest in horses. After I wrote my post I read the post "6 family roles in a dysfunctional or alcoholic family" by Pathway to free , where the book Another chance by Sharon Wegscheider-Cruse is suggested. I've looked at this on Amazon & it looks good although not a recent book.
In your post you write about how being the "identified patient" or scapegoat stuck after your father died and I'm sorry to hear about the loss of your father and how this role continued. This has been the same with me as I got into a relationship where I was the identified patient and felt I was victim even though I was trying to fight back bit by bit. I really hope that having this role identified will help you. Xxx
Heather400 is offline   Reply With Quote
Heather400 found treatment at None (N/A)
The Following User Says Thank You to Heather400 For This Useful Post:
Alysheba (06-14-2019)
Old 06-14-2019, 09:24 AM   #6 (permalink)
Member
 
Alysheba's Avatar
 

Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: CA-SF Bay Area
Posts: 6,295
Thank you, Heather. You are such a sweet soul. I sure hope we can find books that help us.
Best of luck to you, and all my love, Aly ♥♥♥
__________________
Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.
-Winston Churchill


... In October 2008 King Abdullah of Saudi Arabia returned Alysheba to his homeland...
Alysheba is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools


Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 06:04 PM.