Dad's been gone 8 years

Old 09-26-2018, 05:30 AM
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Dad's been gone 8 years

Yup, he kicked off on 9/26/10 -- at home, probably watching birds at the feeder in the suburban house I grew up in. We should all be so lucky, to go out that way, on hospice care just for being old, instead of in the hospital while the Health Care Systemô makes expensive and pointless attempts to keep a 90-year-old alive an extra day, week, or month.

And after 8 years... I have yet to figure out how I feel about the whole thing. You guys who are following along at home know I've still got some anger issues (ha! Along with a gift for understatement!), and I still don't talk much to most of my extended family, because of their meddling and taking his side most of the time while he and my Mom were dying... but, well, things may yet get themselves sorted out. It would probably help if I called my sponsor more often... Anyhow, these things take time, don't they?

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Old 09-26-2018, 06:07 AM
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My Dad passed away just before 9/11, surrounded by the family he had wounded. He left a lot of unfinished business in our family, chiefly making amends to us.

I have been on a personal journey of healing and sobriety since 2010. Part of my faith provides for us making sacrifices for the dead.

I performed a rite called a "plenary indulgence" for my late father just over 2 years ago. We don't really know what happens to the dead, but I received a total healing out of the deal. I can honestly say that the hurt and years of bitterness are gone.

My late Dad has become one of my biggest advocates now and a prayer partner.

Thanks for sharing your journey.
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tromboneliness (09-26-2018)
Old 12-18-2018, 11:47 AM
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I can hardy believe it's been that long. My thoughts are with you--and further communication! I've long since come to realize that when my parents die, NOTHING is going to get better because they've spread the family dysfunction and skewed vision to my siblings and it's now infecting nieces and nephews and to an extent my own children.
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Old 12-21-2018, 04:26 PM
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Wow, tromboneliness, it's been 8 years! I've followed your story the whole time, and I remember thinking how incredibly strong you always seemed to me.

Yes, I suppose time can be a healer. I can't suggest talking to your sponsor or a counselor, but from what little I know of you...I know you will ultimately make the best decision for yourself.

Please take good care!
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