My cat...
 

... is dying, and I'm shedding a lot more tears over him than I ever did over either of my parents. Weird -- or maybe it isn't. He has been my best buddy for 15 years -- unconditional love, just wants to hang with me all day if he can, whines and mopes when I'm not home (or so I'm told), hops in my lap when I'm working at home, or when I'm not-working at home... I had put him to bed for a nap, but he just appeared through the doorway. Even though he's weak and has no appetite (advanced kidney disease -- and please don't tell me all the things that can be done; we had that discussion with the vet, and in the end, told her we just want to give him hospice care and not do anything he doesn't like; he hates going to the vet, getting stuck with needles, and any of that), he's more concerned about me than himself -- when he sees me going to pieces over his fate, he gets all worried and tries to help me. My best buddy, ever. I bet you guys understand some or all of this!

T

Very sorry, tromboneliness.
It’s always hard to lose a furfriend.

:hug: It hurts so bad to know their life is ending. :(

Sorry to hear that.
My wife and I have had cats over a good few decades.
Currently Fat Boy and Little Bro.
Theyre' all different in their personalities
You are doing all that can be done.

Assuming that you have chosen not to go the subcutaneous fluids route?
Totally get that.
I had a lovely rescue cat, Maud (my user name) who developed chronic renal failure in her later years.
Vet recommended fluids, and I resisted mightily.
No needles, no.
Well, I went for it eventually.
My cat was a good candidate, very calm.
I gave her fluids for the last year of her life, her 20th.
It didn’t extend her life, but I believe it made her last year more comfortable.
She succumbed to her “other afflictions,” as her vet said.
Dispensing fluids isn’t for everyone, and it isn’t a cure, but, end of the day, I was glad that I did it.
Peace.

That's what I meant by "please don't tell me about all the things that can be done." I know. We talked about that with the vet, and discusses the subcutaneous fluids with a number of our friends who have cats -- there were mixed reviews about how it goes. If you could see him at the vet, you'd know what I mean -- our old vet used to take out the falconry gloves so the assistants wouldn't get shredded! So we decided not to do anything to disturb him.

T

Yah, some cats just won’t have it.
Long as he’s comfortable.
Again, very sorry.
I have had cats since I was tiny.
I am here to love and care for them.
And they for me.
Peace.

Well, just to keep this on the topic of Adult Children issues, this impending death of a cat is hitting me like a ton of bricks -- which was NOT the case with the death of either of my parents! I felt only relief, in both cases, when I got the news that they were gone. My Mom, it was after a hellish 11-month death spiral, and I was just glad it was over. My Dad, it was after a hellish 47-year battle with a raging, alcoholic control freak (who had a lot of redeeming qualities, as you guys know -- these things are never clear-cut, like you see on TV). The cat, he's been totally unconditional, the whole 15 years. It's a different thing. And it's hitting much harder than the 'rents kicking off. Which you're not supposed to say, in most circles, but you can here....

T

(((tromboneliness)))

I just want to say that I understand.

I had my dear furchild for 14 years, with various health challenges. Saying goodbye to her has remained one of my most painful experiences.

These little dears grab our hearts and love us so unconditionally (as long as the food bowl is full :))

:grouphug:

Understood, trom.

He died today, in my lap at the vet's office. I can tell that "Phantom Cat Syndrome" is going to be a problem for awhile -- he was my shadow.

This is another illustration of what the "But they're your FAMMMMMMMMMily" crowd don't understand. Family relationships are an accident of birth -- your friends are your friends on merit!

T

So sorry for you loss:(

I am very sorry, tromboneliness.

Very sorry, tromboneliness.
My fil, rest his soul, was not a very nice man.
Raised harshly, he was the poster child for bad parenting.
But...animals loved him, and he them.
It was as if all of the bad in his early life leached away when he was with his dog and cats.
Animals have amazing power.
This next patch of time is going to be rough. Thinking of you.

Sorry I am late to this.

I also have the same feelings towards all the "fur babies" I've had over the years. They do love unconditionally.

For me it wasn't just that they love, it's vast difference from the horrid chaos of my "FOO" to the obvious gentleness and kindness of the cats and dogs I raised. Normal people feel that love too, but it's not that foreign to them as it is to me.

There is also the fact that these furry lovelies accepted my love in return, flawed and confused as it was before recovery. That also makes them special.

When mine passed I went thru horrible emotions. All the normal pain and grief that comes with the loss of something precious, but in addition I had all of the dysfunctional emotions that just made it all so much more intense. The classic pouring of gas on a fire.

What helped me was the standard grief routines, but in larger amounts than what "normies" need.

We are all here for you tromboneliness. Post whatever you want, whenever you want. We all have been there at one point or another.

Mike :)
Moderator, SR

I am so sorry for the loss of your beloved pet.

Like you, I have grieved more for my cats who have passed away than I did for either of my parents.

:hug: I am so sorry for the loss of your precious cat. :(

I lost my beloved Toby after 17 years and I know how very much it hurts. I couldn't believe that I could hurt that much, even though he was old and it was not unexpected. That was 9 years ago and I think of him often, still.

All I can offer is my empathy and the comfort of you not having to go through this alone. Your cat was very loved, he knew that you loved him and he was safe and fed and warm...all blessings for any cat.

Hugs from my heart to yours.

So very sad when our furbabies have to leave us. I totally get you Tromboneliness. Being honest, I prefer my dogs and cat, to alot of humans.
The old chestnut of family - blood is thicker than water - what tosh! As you said, we're born into family. Thank the Lord we're able to choose our friends.
Big hugs to you, and know that you did the right thing by your furry.

Much Love
Bute x

Tromboneliness,
My thoughts are with you today.