DreamCatcher17

Glad I found this forum. Hopefully the right for me advice will come my way.

I grew up with an alcoholic mother. She is still practicing, daily. She is currently staying with me for 20 more days until she goes back 1200 miles away, I am seriously counting down the days. I can't wait for her to leave. She's toxic, unreliable and still drinking. I am currently 9 days sober. Monkey see monkey do. Her drinking while I am sober makes me realize how much I hate myself when I drink, I am just like her and when she drinks, I honestly hate her. I can't look at her, I can't stand the sound of her voice, her footsteps around the house bug the crap out of me.

Well, I grew up with her for a majority of my childhood. When she wasn't running off to Vegas to marry a guy who didn't like kids, she never married him. Being dropped off at my aunts for the weekend, that weekend lasted a year.
I hid her wine when I was 14 and she cold clocked me, I moved out the next day to return when I was 17 as I had nowhere else to go. At that point I had been parentless for 3 years, so I did my own thing, made my own rules like. That worked well, I became addicted to meth and married my drug dealer. We've been divorced over 10 years...

I don't know how to deal with her, have a conversation with her, how many times i can dump her booze, and so on.

I've ex'd her out of my life before. It was easy then, I wasn't a mom. Now I could care less if she has contact with my son. I don't want him to grow up like me, or see a drunk in my mom/grandma.

I could go on and on and I really don't think I have any real pinpointed question.

I'm just so annoyed I could scream, pack her stuff, light it on fire and say duces.