I hate my life...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Dallas,TX
Posts: 39
I hate my life...
I am struggling to find my purpose here...it seems at times it would be easier to give up...
I feel I am my own worst enemy...I need to change myself...and fight against it...I hate my life...maybe I expect change too soon
I haven't posted here in a couple of weeks..putting a lot of focus...on the person I ended a relationship with 2 months ago..he was an emotional abuser...and he is that way..because of a severe personality disorder..I have a lot of anger in me...he was a con artist...and an emotional vampire..and I got used...to confront this person about how I feel would be futile..
I'm over being a victim...I have a lot of sadness in me..but I am angry..very angry..
I feel desparate...I don't think God is there for me...I pray for Him to show me his will...so I will know what to do...I don't hear the answers..I hear nothing...
I want to give up..but I can't...but staying is hard....
I need prayers....I need help
I feel I am my own worst enemy...I need to change myself...and fight against it...I hate my life...maybe I expect change too soon
I haven't posted here in a couple of weeks..putting a lot of focus...on the person I ended a relationship with 2 months ago..he was an emotional abuser...and he is that way..because of a severe personality disorder..I have a lot of anger in me...he was a con artist...and an emotional vampire..and I got used...to confront this person about how I feel would be futile..
I'm over being a victim...I have a lot of sadness in me..but I am angry..very angry..
I feel desparate...I don't think God is there for me...I pray for Him to show me his will...so I will know what to do...I don't hear the answers..I hear nothing...
I want to give up..but I can't...but staying is hard....
I need prayers....I need help
Member
Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 4,955
Hey Talia,
Ending a relationship is very, very difficult. Even when you know it's the right thing. And considering the way you were treated in that relationship, you have every right to be angry.
I believe that God hears our prayers.
I will say some for you.
Sending some light your way,
Gabe
Ending a relationship is very, very difficult. Even when you know it's the right thing. And considering the way you were treated in that relationship, you have every right to be angry.
I believe that God hears our prayers.
I will say some for you.
Sending some light your way,
Gabe
believer
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: walking in faith
Posts: 1,023
(((((Talia))))))
Gabe is right, ending a relationship is very tough and it's something we shouldn't try to deal with alone. Do you have a support system (meetings, good friends you talk to and trust, therapy, etc)? I can't tell you how much it helps to share your struggles with others. You don't have to go through this alone. If nothing else, please keep coming here and sharing with us. We will help you get through it.
Hugs,
JG
Gabe is right, ending a relationship is very tough and it's something we shouldn't try to deal with alone. Do you have a support system (meetings, good friends you talk to and trust, therapy, etc)? I can't tell you how much it helps to share your struggles with others. You don't have to go through this alone. If nothing else, please keep coming here and sharing with us. We will help you get through it.
Hugs,
JG
Member
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: The Mohave Desert
Posts: 2,306
(((Talia)))
Girl i am so sorry you are hurting right now. I never quite know what to say to ease anothers pain, all I can really do is make suggestions that require us to take positive actions to counteract the negative stuff...
Screaming works wonders for me, i do it in the car.
August 11, 2004
Fixing A Bad Day
Rescue Toolbox For Coping
When times are tough and you are experiencing stress, it's nice to have some tools you can use to help get through a rough patch, and use on an ongoing basis to make your life a little easier. Perhaps you are trying to quit smoking, or suffering from a broken heart. You might be having trouble at work or school, the traffic is bad, your children are misbehaving - sometimes the whole world seems to be against you. These are issues that most of us are dealing with on a regular basis. It's best to remember you are not alone even though sometimes you feel like nobody understands you. Below is a Rescue Toolbox For Coping - when you are at the end of your rope, open your toolbox, take a breath and take care of yourself.
Call a friend.
Talk about it. Calling a friend that will listen willingly and openly can make all of the difference. Sometimes we feel like we don't want to "dump" on people, but wouldn't you want your friends to call you when they need a friend?
Write about it.
Journal. Get it out of your head and on to paper. This technique can help alleviate stress by getting your thoughts out of your head. You don't even need to save what you have written - in fact it may help you feel better by ripping the paper into tiny pieces and throwing it away.
Take a bath.
Make yourself a bath with sea salt to release and renew. This bath will help cleanse your energy field which is just as important as getting the clutter out of your head. While you are in your bath, imagine all bad thoughts and bad energy going down the drain to Mother Earth.
Walk around the block.
Physical exercise is very important in helping to relieve stress, but many of us don't have a regular routine at the gym or yoga studio. Everybody can make the time for a quick walk, during a break or lunchtime and it makes a world of difference.
Meditate.
Whatever this means to you. Meditation doesn't always have to be sitting in a lotus position or chanting. Sometimes folding the laundry can be a meditation - as can gardening, knitting or cooking. It's important to relieve your mind of daily complications and give yourself quiet time to be still.
Commune with nature.
Getting out into nature in some way is very rejuvenating. It can take any form you like including gardening, walking in the park, riding a horse, watching a sunset, swimming in a lake or taking an leisurely stroll through a field. Enjoy nature on a regular basis, it is very grounding and your soul will sing.
Thank your body.
Thank every cell, organ, muscle and bone in your body for doing such a great job in supporting you. Imagine how your body feels every time you make a negative comment or put your body down. Thank your body and see what an amazing difference it makes in your day and in your life.
September 27, 2004
Freeing Yourself From Hidden Pain
Primal Screaming
Every man and woman is made up of a complex system of needs, desires, emotions, and perceptions that thrive on being acknowledged. When these are not acknowledged, not fulfilled, there is often unrecognized pain or tension. The force of this repression has a powerful influence not only on the mind, but the body as well, contributing to illnesses
and emotional distress. Primal screaming helps people to dig deep within themselves, to re-live and to release the pain and tension long held inside. The act of screaming, which has the power to carry us back to our emotional roots, can offer a
means to experience, and finally express, the deep rooted source of discomfort. The aftermath holds only the memory, not the suffering.
Primal screaming is simple and can be done alone, by anyone, inside or outside. Each individual's primal experience is different because our memories differ. You can begin by focusing on a particular negative memory or experience, and bring forth the feelings that resulted. As your emotions guide you, you may want to scream loudly, or simply cry out. The physical action of screaming can release further pain and tension; negative experiences, possibly forgotten, might rise to the surface. Acknowledging this long-buried discomfort in a personal way frees your emotions from the shackles of negativity, and opens the door to a wondrous range of positive emotions, self-awareness, and contentment. At the same time, emotional trauma can have an intense effect on hormonal balance, the immune system, and other systems of the body. During primal screaming, the release of the core distress can be liberating for the body as well as the spirit, and physical symptoms can be relieved! .
Through primal screaming, it is possible to connect with parts of oneself that have gone unrecognized for many years and to access feelings and memories that have been long hidden. Society often demands that we quiet our negative reactions, rendering it invisible and unacknowledged. Primal screaming is an outlet that can heal the soul, helping negative feelings give way to genuine emotional freedom.
For more information visit Primaltherapy.com
Girl i am so sorry you are hurting right now. I never quite know what to say to ease anothers pain, all I can really do is make suggestions that require us to take positive actions to counteract the negative stuff...
Screaming works wonders for me, i do it in the car.
August 11, 2004
Fixing A Bad Day
Rescue Toolbox For Coping
When times are tough and you are experiencing stress, it's nice to have some tools you can use to help get through a rough patch, and use on an ongoing basis to make your life a little easier. Perhaps you are trying to quit smoking, or suffering from a broken heart. You might be having trouble at work or school, the traffic is bad, your children are misbehaving - sometimes the whole world seems to be against you. These are issues that most of us are dealing with on a regular basis. It's best to remember you are not alone even though sometimes you feel like nobody understands you. Below is a Rescue Toolbox For Coping - when you are at the end of your rope, open your toolbox, take a breath and take care of yourself.
Call a friend.
Talk about it. Calling a friend that will listen willingly and openly can make all of the difference. Sometimes we feel like we don't want to "dump" on people, but wouldn't you want your friends to call you when they need a friend?
Write about it.
Journal. Get it out of your head and on to paper. This technique can help alleviate stress by getting your thoughts out of your head. You don't even need to save what you have written - in fact it may help you feel better by ripping the paper into tiny pieces and throwing it away.
Take a bath.
Make yourself a bath with sea salt to release and renew. This bath will help cleanse your energy field which is just as important as getting the clutter out of your head. While you are in your bath, imagine all bad thoughts and bad energy going down the drain to Mother Earth.
Walk around the block.
Physical exercise is very important in helping to relieve stress, but many of us don't have a regular routine at the gym or yoga studio. Everybody can make the time for a quick walk, during a break or lunchtime and it makes a world of difference.
Meditate.
Whatever this means to you. Meditation doesn't always have to be sitting in a lotus position or chanting. Sometimes folding the laundry can be a meditation - as can gardening, knitting or cooking. It's important to relieve your mind of daily complications and give yourself quiet time to be still.
Commune with nature.
Getting out into nature in some way is very rejuvenating. It can take any form you like including gardening, walking in the park, riding a horse, watching a sunset, swimming in a lake or taking an leisurely stroll through a field. Enjoy nature on a regular basis, it is very grounding and your soul will sing.
Thank your body.
Thank every cell, organ, muscle and bone in your body for doing such a great job in supporting you. Imagine how your body feels every time you make a negative comment or put your body down. Thank your body and see what an amazing difference it makes in your day and in your life.
September 27, 2004
Freeing Yourself From Hidden Pain
Primal Screaming
Every man and woman is made up of a complex system of needs, desires, emotions, and perceptions that thrive on being acknowledged. When these are not acknowledged, not fulfilled, there is often unrecognized pain or tension. The force of this repression has a powerful influence not only on the mind, but the body as well, contributing to illnesses
and emotional distress. Primal screaming helps people to dig deep within themselves, to re-live and to release the pain and tension long held inside. The act of screaming, which has the power to carry us back to our emotional roots, can offer a
means to experience, and finally express, the deep rooted source of discomfort. The aftermath holds only the memory, not the suffering.
Primal screaming is simple and can be done alone, by anyone, inside or outside. Each individual's primal experience is different because our memories differ. You can begin by focusing on a particular negative memory or experience, and bring forth the feelings that resulted. As your emotions guide you, you may want to scream loudly, or simply cry out. The physical action of screaming can release further pain and tension; negative experiences, possibly forgotten, might rise to the surface. Acknowledging this long-buried discomfort in a personal way frees your emotions from the shackles of negativity, and opens the door to a wondrous range of positive emotions, self-awareness, and contentment. At the same time, emotional trauma can have an intense effect on hormonal balance, the immune system, and other systems of the body. During primal screaming, the release of the core distress can be liberating for the body as well as the spirit, and physical symptoms can be relieved! .
Through primal screaming, it is possible to connect with parts of oneself that have gone unrecognized for many years and to access feelings and memories that have been long hidden. Society often demands that we quiet our negative reactions, rendering it invisible and unacknowledged. Primal screaming is an outlet that can heal the soul, helping negative feelings give way to genuine emotional freedom.
For more information visit Primaltherapy.com
Member
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Clearwater, FL
Posts: 81
I am so sorry you are hurting! I know how difficult ending a relationship can be. I just ended a 5 year relationship about 10 days ago. When I was really upset, a very good friend pointed out to me that it is easier to make a wrong decision than a right decision. It will get easier. It just takes time.
Hang in there. We are here for you!
Hang in there. We are here for you!
Survivor
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Proud Upstate New Yorker
Posts: 869
*big hugs for Talia*
You will find your way, dont worry. Give yourself time and find ways to pamper yourself. It is very important to take good care of yourself in order to avoid these self-defeating thoughts. Trust me.
*more big hugs*
~Def
You will find your way, dont worry. Give yourself time and find ways to pamper yourself. It is very important to take good care of yourself in order to avoid these self-defeating thoughts. Trust me.
*more big hugs*
~Def
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Dallas,TX
Posts: 39
thank-you for being there...
I am working on finding a therapist...I can't do this recovery thing by by myself...I think I need to spill my guts...and need to be heard....
I have attended some ACoA meetings...and I feel good when I go..but it feels like a little temporary bandaid??...
I know that when this relationship ended...I was having PTSD symtoms...abandonment issues triggered...
I thought things had settled down a bit...but there are days..when I get "panicky" still..I have few people to call on right now..to help me...
I just needed to know someone cares..I feel bad to keep calling the few people that I do have in my life..I just feel needy...and don't want them to think I am that needy...
the posts helped...I did start writing down my feelings...and to just have you guys answer me...helps me feel validated...
it is scary at times....to feel the need to be loved...and still having a void there..because I can't fill it myself yet..I feel alone....
you all helped....thank-you....
I am working on finding a therapist...I can't do this recovery thing by by myself...I think I need to spill my guts...and need to be heard....
I have attended some ACoA meetings...and I feel good when I go..but it feels like a little temporary bandaid??...
I know that when this relationship ended...I was having PTSD symtoms...abandonment issues triggered...
I thought things had settled down a bit...but there are days..when I get "panicky" still..I have few people to call on right now..to help me...
I just needed to know someone cares..I feel bad to keep calling the few people that I do have in my life..I just feel needy...and don't want them to think I am that needy...
the posts helped...I did start writing down my feelings...and to just have you guys answer me...helps me feel validated...
it is scary at times....to feel the need to be loved...and still having a void there..because I can't fill it myself yet..I feel alone....
you all helped....thank-you....
Member
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Los Angeles, Ca.
Posts: 353
((((Talia)))) i have been in your shoes and the restlessness and feelings of frustration can get you down. therapy is something that really helped me turn things around. i am a much better version of myself because of the sorting, sifting, and dealing, i have done. i always compare therapy to a wonderful spa day of sorts- it really is a wonderful indulgent thing for a person to do. a big time act of self love! it is definitely hard but the good kind of hard that has long term benefits- truly a life changing experience with a giant boulder being removed from your chest at the end!!! i hope you find a therapist and can get started on your journey of being okay being alone and not feeling lonely. i am sending you light and love- alice
Member
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Starting over all over again
Posts: 4,426
Not a band aid for me
Originally Posted by talia
... I feel bad to keep calling the few people that I do have in my life..I just feel needy...and don't want them to think I am that needy...
Originally Posted by talia
... it is scary at times....to feel the need to be loved...and still having a void there..because I can't fill it myself yet..I feel alone....
Originally Posted by talia
... ...and I feel good when I go..but it feels like a little temporary bandaid??...
Mike :-)
Member
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Clearwater, FL
Posts: 81
Originally Posted by talia
I have attended some ACoA meetings...and I feel good when I go..but it feels like a little temporary bandaid?
Hang in there!!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Dallas,TX
Posts: 39
Gratitude
I want to express my gratitude.. :rose :rose to you all....
Gabe
Kel
StarGazer
Journeygal
DesertEyes
Defoflov
Alice
you guys are amazing..the support is deeply appreciated..
with love,
talia
Gabe
Kel
StarGazer
Journeygal
DesertEyes
Defoflov
Alice
you guys are amazing..the support is deeply appreciated..
with love,
talia
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