DefofLov

There are so many alcoholics and addicts in my family and friends of my family. It is frightening when I think of it. There is my mother, father, grandmother, aunt, cousins. They get together frequently, just about every weekend and no matter what the family does together, they must have alcohol.

Even on my graduation party I asked for them not to drink and they said they would cut my party off at 8pm and then they would drink. You know, that really hurt and frustrate me.

No one wants to recognize that there is a problem and I have given up on trying to convince them a very long time ago. It confuses the heck out of me because I know that something is wrong and I am constantly wondering and fantasizing about how a healthy and supportive family should be. I feel so alone and I feel like there is no one to run to. I have always felt unprotected and unsheltered. Though you let someone from the family tell it and they would say that I was too sheltered. :sigh:

I just dont know what to think about it anymore. I feel so much anger and hurt towards all of them for not taking care of me like they should have and not helping me out now. I see a counselor at school and fortuneately we will be starting an ACOA group soon. It will be good to talk to others about these things.

Gabe

((((Def))))
It's really hard when you have one addict to deal with. When it gets to the multiples stage, it's overwhelming. I know it hurts when you feel like you haven't been taken care of the way you should have. The good news is, you can learn to take care of yourself in a good an healthy way.
Sending some light and love your way,
Gabe

DesertEyes

Sorry to hear that. I know the feeling well, my whole family is full of drunks, addicts and such.

I took my whole biological family and turned them over to my HP to fix. I can't fix 'em, and frankly, I got tired of trying. They're on their own now. I went out and found me a _new_ family. Found me good friends on the program, and in the "normie" world. I adopted the best ones and made them my family. My wife's step-Mom is an absolute sweetie, so I just call her Mom which is fine with her. I've got great friends and I call them "bro".

It's a bit of a patchwork "family", but it's way better than most and it works for me

You got a whole ton of people on this forum who think you're the best, so you're not really alone. Maybe what you need is a sponsor.

Yeah well if your biological family is anything like mine you can just shine them on :-)

Been there, done that. Sucks big time. In my case, all that anger was a bit of a codie issue. I wanted to have some kind of revenge, to force them to apologize for what they did, to make up for it. I was still trying to somehow change my past by forcing them to accept what they did.

Didn't work. They never changed. The harder I tried the more frustrated I got and the angrier I became. I realized that my anger was just a way of abusing myself, of continuing the abuse they started. If I continued to live in anger I would eventually become the same kind of monster they were. Definetly _not_ what I wanted.

Excellent. Nothing is as good as a f2f meeting. A great place to "recruit" member for your first meeting is Al-Anon meetings.

Whadya think?

Mike :-)

chess

So good to hear I'm not the only one with peculiar family

I had no idea how far this drinking business streched until I stopped drinking myself and really saw how many of the people aroung me have problems with alcohol. As a kid growing up I thought that drinking is something grown-ups just do

DefofLov

Thanx guyz, glad to know I am not alone. I always see these stories about the one alcoholic but there are way more than one in my family. I wish they would write a book about dealing/not dealing with multiple alcoholics. Fortuneately, I dont try and change them and I dont talk to them about their drinking, I just have very phony and cordial conversations and keep it moving.